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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Husband wants to leave the uk post budget….

425 replies

Maryaliceyoungx · 27/11/2025 21:21

husband wants to leave and don’t get me wrong - I do see why. We are being hammered in the budget, we drive shitty cars, the rain is shit… life in the UK can be pretty shitty right now. he works for a US based company and I am a US citizen as I was born there and spent my life until my early teens there (parents are British and were working out there) so I see why he wants to go -it would be good for his career and would be potential to make money without the huge tax burden of the UK (company based in low state tax state)

but I don’t want to go… I love my life here. I love our village and my kids lovely village school. My family is here and I worry my parents don’t have so much time left.

however i do have to recognise the money aspect- my husbands job could be impacted by AI so i think he is right in thinking we should max out our earning potential while we can and we just won’t be able to do that here as it will just be taxed away.

aibu for sacrificing potentially huge earnings just because I love village life? Would it even be cheaper? I would insist upon private school in the US(went to state school in the us and have a lot of trauma from that!) and we wouldnt sell our house here so would need to rent. Most recent trip to thr us - over a year ago and cost of living was sky high.

I’ll be honest - couldn’t care about the politics. Politics are shit whereever you go!!

OP posts:
Crikeyalmighty · 29/11/2025 16:20

poetryandwine · 29/11/2025 16:15

That’s grim for your friend but I think OP is a US citizen

Oh I missed that

Maryaliceyoungx · 29/11/2025 16:29

Crikeyalmighty · 29/11/2025 16:20

Oh I missed that

Yes I am a US citizen as I was born there - my parents and siblings are not. Always been a bone of contention with my older siblings 😂

OP posts:
Handeyethingyowl · 29/11/2025 16:29

I wouldn’t personally. It takes ages to build up a new community and that’s important to kids at any age, not to mention you. I think it’s a pretty knee-jerk reaction to the budget tbh. Moving to the US too…. Surely there’s a better tax haven to choose.

mondaytosunday · 29/11/2025 16:34

@poetryandwinenot sure where you got that figure as I just looked and the average for a family of four is $25,000 for annual health insurance, which make sense when you consider my sister’s health insurance for herself and one child is over that as DD has a number of health issues. Of course a younger family in some areas will pay less, older more.

poetryandwine · 29/11/2025 16:41

mondaytosunday · 29/11/2025 16:34

@poetryandwinenot sure where you got that figure as I just looked and the average for a family of four is $25,000 for annual health insurance, which make sense when you consider my sister’s health insurance for herself and one child is over that as DD has a number of health issues. Of course a younger family in some areas will pay less, older more.

That’s the total cost I read, also. My understanding is that the employer usually pucks up about 75%.

Two of my sources were business.com and the website for the massive HMO Kaiser Permanente (sp?)

Octavia25 · 29/11/2025 17:21

There’s more to life than money

Bloozie · 29/11/2025 18:22

Maryaliceyoungx · 29/11/2025 16:29

Yes I am a US citizen as I was born there - my parents and siblings are not. Always been a bone of contention with my older siblings 😂

Trump is breaking the link between being born in America and citizenship - you might not always have the citizenship you enjoy now, it could be revoked at any time. Though if you’re not brown or black, he might spare you.

Octavia25 · 29/11/2025 18:35

Trump might not let you back in

Maryaliceyoungx · 29/11/2025 18:37

Bloozie · 29/11/2025 18:22

Trump is breaking the link between being born in America and citizenship - you might not always have the citizenship you enjoy now, it could be revoked at any time. Though if you’re not brown or black, he might spare you.

To be honest I wouldn’t mind - I wouldn’t have to do a tax return

OP posts:
DdraigGoch · 29/11/2025 18:41

HumphreyCushionintheHouse · 29/11/2025 07:04

We can get Stilton everywhere in the US. The misinformation about the US on MN is widespread and very tiresome.

For a price! That's 37% more than you'd pay in the UK for the same sized cheese from the same manufacturer - and there are plenty of Stiltons much cheaper than that.

Poppy123xyz · 29/11/2025 18:47

I'm American but lived here 20 years now. No salary would convince me its worth putting up with women losing their rights (do you have daughters? are you of reproductive age?), insane health care costs, guns everywhere, school massacres, religion being shoved down your throat, ICE raids, the vitriol of the MAGA crowd. Even the white middle classes aren't safe from these things.

britinnyc · 29/11/2025 19:21

Poppy123xyz · 29/11/2025 18:47

I'm American but lived here 20 years now. No salary would convince me its worth putting up with women losing their rights (do you have daughters? are you of reproductive age?), insane health care costs, guns everywhere, school massacres, religion being shoved down your throat, ICE raids, the vitriol of the MAGA crowd. Even the white middle classes aren't safe from these things.

If you are American you should know that this is not the case everywhere in the country. Plenty of states have strong access to reproductive choices and that isn’t going to change, even MAGA says leave it up to the states. I have lived in the U.S. for 30 years, never seen a gun aside from on the police. I have never lived somewhere where religion is forced down my throat. And the MAGA crowd where I live is very quiet because they are far outnumbered by non MAGA. The ICE stuff is terrible but it doesn’t impact most people and my community has rallied against it which has been reassuring that people still share human values. Perhaps none of this would be true in other parts of the country but the generalizations are so inaccurate given the size of the country and differences between states

suburberphobe · 29/11/2025 19:32

The positives, however, are the diversity and multiculturalism where I live

Me too. In Europe. It's fab. No way would I want to move to Trumpland.

Been to America - north and south - fabulous countries, but no. Not to live.

Loved Brazil. Fabulous place. Just locked up some far-right creep for 28 years. Yea!

Swissmeringue · 29/11/2025 21:09

alexisccd · 29/11/2025 11:49

how did you get to losing 67% to tax on pension contributions?

Loss of salary sacrifice scheme so 22% NI and 45% income tax. I'd bloody love it if you tell me I'm wrong but everything we've read indicates that's how much of his pension contributions will be lost to tax, in order to then pay further income tax on it once he's drawing it as a pension.

suburberphobe · 29/11/2025 21:21

So again I ask you to expand on how you’re being penalised by budget changes.

You sound very aggressive and she can keep that information to herself.

Honestly, MN sometimes....

Papyrophile · 29/11/2025 21:24

I loved the US, lived there for five years, and there are nice small towns that will give you a cosy comfortable feeling. Be brave, and go for it.

poetryandwine · 29/11/2025 21:38

Swissmeringue · 29/11/2025 21:09

Loss of salary sacrifice scheme so 22% NI and 45% income tax. I'd bloody love it if you tell me I'm wrong but everything we've read indicates that's how much of his pension contributions will be lost to tax, in order to then pay further income tax on it once he's drawing it as a pension.

How are you getting an employee contribution to NI of 22?

poetryandwine · 29/11/2025 21:41

Octavia25 · 29/11/2025 18:35

Trump might not let you back in

So far he is not keeping citizens out

Bloozie · 29/11/2025 23:14

britinnyc · 29/11/2025 19:21

If you are American you should know that this is not the case everywhere in the country. Plenty of states have strong access to reproductive choices and that isn’t going to change, even MAGA says leave it up to the states. I have lived in the U.S. for 30 years, never seen a gun aside from on the police. I have never lived somewhere where religion is forced down my throat. And the MAGA crowd where I live is very quiet because they are far outnumbered by non MAGA. The ICE stuff is terrible but it doesn’t impact most people and my community has rallied against it which has been reassuring that people still share human values. Perhaps none of this would be true in other parts of the country but the generalizations are so inaccurate given the size of the country and differences between states

“The ICE stuff is terrible but it doesn’t impact most people”

Thats ok then. As long as it’s only a minority that’s being persecuted, taken from their beds illegally and detained without cause. I mean, it’s terrible, but I’m white, soooooooo…

Whammyammy · 29/11/2025 23:31

Don't blame him. The budget will be another final straw for many. We have the opportunity to move to the us and seriously considering it.

britinnyc · 30/11/2025 00:25

Bloozie · 29/11/2025 23:14

“The ICE stuff is terrible but it doesn’t impact most people”

Thats ok then. As long as it’s only a minority that’s being persecuted, taken from their beds illegally and detained without cause. I mean, it’s terrible, but I’m white, soooooooo…

The point being it doesn’t impact life. We don’t always have the ability to sit on our moral high horse about stuff like this and leave the country. I didn’t vote for Trump and don’t approve of what is happening but I can’t change anything and wouldn’t tell people not to move here because of that.

Maryaliceyoungx · 30/11/2025 08:12

suburberphobe · 29/11/2025 21:21

So again I ask you to expand on how you’re being penalised by budget changes.

You sound very aggressive and she can keep that information to herself.

Honestly, MN sometimes....

I know! It’s so aggressive! I have received some excellent advice from both sides without uploading our most recent tax returns.

OP posts:
GrandmasCat · 30/11/2025 09:43

poetryandwine · 29/11/2025 21:41

So far he is not keeping citizens out

ICE is arresting people who are there legally as well, as long they seem foreign they don’t care much, really.

I know people in New York who have decided not to go abroad for holidays not to risk it. I don’t blame them… I have had a good grilling entering the US as a tourist on how I got a British passport when I don’t look “British”, and how is it that I am living here even when it is not even their bloody country.

poetryandwine · 30/11/2025 09:44

GrandmasCat · 30/11/2025 09:43

ICE is arresting people who are there legally as well, as long they seem foreign they don’t care much, really.

I know people in New York who have decided not to go abroad for holidays not to risk it. I don’t blame them… I have had a good grilling entering the US as a tourist on how I got a British passport when I don’t look “British”, and how is it that I am living here even when it is not even their bloody country.

Truly disgusting, but not quite the same thing

Tinnybinnylinny · 30/11/2025 18:54

britinnyc · 30/11/2025 00:25

The point being it doesn’t impact life. We don’t always have the ability to sit on our moral high horse about stuff like this and leave the country. I didn’t vote for Trump and don’t approve of what is happening but I can’t change anything and wouldn’t tell people not to move here because of that.

I mean, internment in NI, where the British persecuted the northern Irish catholics for years…….

No one, bar the persecuted Irish seemed to be bothered by it……

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