Page 5 | Husband wants to leave the uk post budget….

Maryaliceyoungx · 2025-11-27T21:21:48+00:00

husband wants to leave and don’t get me wrong - I do see why. We are being hammered in the budget, we drive shitty cars, the rain is shit… life in the UK can be pretty shitty right now. he works for a US based company and I am a US citizen as I was born there and spent my life until my early teens there (parents are British and were working out there) so I see why he wants to go -it would be good for his career and would be potential to make money without the huge tax burden of the UK (company based in low state tax state) but I don’t want to go… I love my life here. I love our village and my kids lovely village school. My family is here and I worry my parents don’t have so much time left. however i do have to recognise the money aspect- my husbands job could be impacted by AI so i think he is right in thinking we should max out our earning potential while we can and we just won’t be able to do that here as it will just be taxed away. aibu for sacrificing potentially huge earnings just because I love village life? Would it even be cheaper? I would insist upon private school in the US(went to state school in the us and have a lot of trauma from that!) and we wouldnt sell our house here so would need to rent. Most recent trip to thr us - over a year ago and cost of living was sky high. I’ll be honest - couldn’t care about the politics. Politics are shit whereever you go!!

Peridoteage · 27/11/2025 23:28

I can understand worrying about uk economy etc

But the US would be among the last places I'd want to go. Gilead.

Shedeboodinia · 27/11/2025 23:28

Another country other than the US might provide a better life. I am not sure what you would gain unless your earning potential is much much greater there.

Genevieva · 27/11/2025 23:29

DaphneduM · 27/11/2025 23:27

I can understand why you're reluctant, but the things you value like village life and lovely primary school obviously aren't as important to your husband. He is only thinking about amassing wealth. The Oscar Wilde quote 'a man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing' comes to mind here.

Personally I couldn't even consider leaving elderly parents if I was in your position, and realistically it would be totally impractical (and expensive) for you to have to keep flying over to the UK to see them. Would they consider moving back to America, do you think - if you did go?

I have a pretty jaundiced view of working for American companies - my daughter did and it destroyed her mental health. Her terms and conditions were fantastic, high salary, excellent pension benefits and private healthcare. But the expectations were huge and she was putting in many more hours than she was contracted for and was always 'on' with very little support from above. She was also involved in a life threatening situation due to an aggressive parent of an equally aggressive member of staff she was responsible for, and the whole company premises had to be shut down to protect everyone. The member of staff ended up being arrested for criminal damage of an adjoining building - very scary. I was pretty relieved when my daughter left to be honest. Again earning a high salary - but at what cost?

It's pretty fashionable to be knocking Britain at the moment, and of course there are problems here - not least our extremely shit government - but also, as you appreciate, there is also so much good about it. I've always lived in a village albeit in three different parts of the country and they all have the same qualities. Supportive community, lovely countryside, good schools for young children and it fosters a healthy sense of identity. People have your back.

I don't envy you, you've got a very difficult decision to make, particularly as it sounds as though your husband really wants to relocate. It's lovely that you like living here and I'm sure it helps that your parents are British. I have an American friend who is married to a British man, living in the UK and she is a lost soul, always searching for meaning, going on spiritual retreats etc. Her husband is an extremely high earner, his skills being very sought after, and she had a vast inheritance from an American relative but it's sad to see her so unhappy. In her case you get the feeling she would be happier living back home on the East coast.

A difficult situation for you, OP - I don't envy you having to make the decision.

I think that’s unkind. She’s said it’s also about career development opportunities and job security.

SLeighHart · 27/11/2025 23:29

MotherofPearl · 27/11/2025 23:15

I don’t think cheese deprivation is a small thing. Life without cheese is barely worth living, imo.

You couldn’t pay me to move to the US.

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The stuff about Kraft singles and spray can cheese being the only cheese in the US is a weidly enduring myth.

NoKidsSendDogs · 27/11/2025 23:29

Genevieva · 27/11/2025 21:57

Broadly speaking most professional jobs psy double or triple a U.K. salary and pay half as much tax. Housing costs a lot less in most places. Even with private health insurance, the disposable income is much higher there than here.

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Came here to say the same. The highest tax bracket is 35%, the same jobs there pay so much more and housing is much cheaper and nicer. I'm not sure what everyone is on about regarding grocery costs, they are not much higher, but I guess it depends on what you buy. Also property taxes are equivalent to council taxes, gardens aren't a patch of dirt and you certainly won't pay as much as you do for gas and heating, I can pretty much guarantee that. The only higher cost is healthcare, but with a good job you're covered and the standard of care is leaps and bounds above the UK.

Original poster

Maryaliceyoungx · 27/11/2025 23:30

Swiftasthewind · 27/11/2025 23:25

Good for you but politics has gotten into you, so you and your obvious Tory husband should buckle up and pay your fair share. Do you even realise how privileged you are?

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We have always paid our fair share thanks. And please do not assume our politics.

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GrandmasCat · 27/11/2025 23:31

I don’t know. I went to uni in the USA and from what I hear from my American friends working as expats, the salaries are much much higher in the USA… but so are the expenses. We always remark on how expensive food, housing and health insurance are is over there.

ComedyGuns · 27/11/2025 23:31

Eskarina1 · 27/11/2025 22:13

Im with you here. There are states literally considering the death penalty for abortion (and who have jailed women for miscarriages).

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Gosh. Can you elaborate on this?

Original poster

Maryaliceyoungx · 27/11/2025 23:33

SLeighHart · 27/11/2025 23:29

The stuff about Kraft singles and spray can cheese being the only cheese in the US is a weidly enduring myth.

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I hate us dairy products. This might swing it. 😂

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Genevieva · 27/11/2025 23:33

NoKidsSendDogs · 27/11/2025 23:29

Came here to say the same. The highest tax bracket is 35%, the same jobs there pay so much more and housing is much cheaper and nicer. I'm not sure what everyone is on about regarding grocery costs, they are not much higher, but I guess it depends on what you buy. Also property taxes are equivalent to council taxes, gardens aren't a patch of dirt and you certainly won't pay as much as you do for gas and heating, I can pretty much guarantee that. The only higher cost is healthcare, but with a good job you're covered and the standard of care is leaps and bounds above the UK.

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Property taxes can be high. We looked at a house that had $18,000 a year back in 2012. The company would have paid the rent and the property taxes for 2 years, then it was on us. The property tax is spent in local schooling though, so you are effector paying for the privilege of a lovely, well funded school whether you have children or not. There’s. No point in paying for private education if you live in an area with high property taxes and excellent state schools.

Swiftasthewind · 27/11/2025 23:36

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Oblahdeeoblahdoe · 27/11/2025 23:36

Always choose happiness over money.

Original poster

Maryaliceyoungx · 27/11/2025 23:36

Genevieva · 27/11/2025 23:33

Property taxes can be high. We looked at a house that had $18,000 a year back in 2012. The company would have paid the rent and the property taxes for 2 years, then it was on us. The property tax is spent in local schooling though, so you are effector paying for the privilege of a lovely, well funded school whether you have children or not. There’s. No point in paying for private education if you live in an area with high property taxes and excellent state schools.

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Ohh this I don’t understand. Do you pay the property tax if you rent? So it’s not like council tax?

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Blinky21 · 27/11/2025 23:39

I wouldn't even holiday in the US at the moment let alone live there

jazzhands84 · 27/11/2025 23:39

It would always be the cheese that would swing it for me. I've lived in Asia and travelled great distances for cheese whilst there.

NoSoapJustUseShowerGel · 27/11/2025 23:39

So how exactly do the budget changes affect you and how much worse off will you be?

Glennponder · 27/11/2025 23:40

Are you of child bearing age?
Be VERY careful where you live, if so.
Drs in some states will let you die rather than terminate a dangerous pg.

Original poster

Maryaliceyoungx · 27/11/2025 23:42

Glennponder · 27/11/2025 23:40

Are you of child bearing age?
Be VERY careful where you live, if so.
Drs in some states will let you die rather than terminate a dangerous pg.

early menopause for me

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Starandflowers · 27/11/2025 23:43

There is no pay rise or big house that could justify me sending my kids to school in the US with the risk that they won’t come home. I am sure the OP will come along and say it’s just as bad here but it’s absolutely not

And then there is the risk to women’s rights.

Yes our view of America is led by the media but I wouldn’t be able find any positive to moving to the US, including money

2021x · 27/11/2025 23:44

I am sure you already know this, but moving countries put a lot of strain on relationships. Unless your husband has lived abroad he won't be aware of all the little things about being away from family that pile up over the time.

With US I would be concerned about gun culture especially as the current administration have appealed to empowering the 2nd Admendment demographic which is something that is very different to British Culture.

Nevereatcardboard · 27/11/2025 23:44

How old are your children and how adaptable are they? I know someone who moved abroad and their child became very unwell due to the stress of the move. The family moved back after a few months as the child was so unhappy and just couldn’t cope.

Original poster

Maryaliceyoungx · 27/11/2025 23:45

Starandflowers · 27/11/2025 23:43

There is no pay rise or big house that could justify me sending my kids to school in the US with the risk that they won’t come home. I am sure the OP will come along and say it’s just as bad here but it’s absolutely not

And then there is the risk to women’s rights.

Yes our view of America is led by the media but I wouldn’t be able find any positive to moving to the US, including money

Not going to say that! School is one of the biggest reasons I’m against it

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Lunde · 27/11/2025 23:46

What sort of annual leave would your DH get? It can be a difficult adjustment if you are used to the UK system where you are guaranteed a minimum of 5.6 weeks a year.

A friend had to work a year before she got any - then it was 2 weeks a year which made it hard to travel very far.

Original poster

Maryaliceyoungx · 27/11/2025 23:46

2021x · 27/11/2025 23:44

I am sure you already know this, but moving countries put a lot of strain on relationships. Unless your husband has lived abroad he won't be aware of all the little things about being away from family that pile up over the time.

With US I would be concerned about gun culture especially as the current administration have appealed to empowering the 2nd Admendment demographic which is something that is very different to British Culture.

I worry about the strain on a relationship when you lose your support network

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Original poster

Maryaliceyoungx · 27/11/2025 23:47

Lunde · 27/11/2025 23:46

What sort of annual leave would your DH get? It can be a difficult adjustment if you are used to the UK system where you are guaranteed a minimum of 5.6 weeks a year.

A friend had to work a year before she got any - then it was 2 weeks a year which made it hard to travel very far.

It would be the same which is 20 days… which doesn’t feel enough to travel back home

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