Husband wants to leave the uk post budget….

[Maryaliceyoungx]

husband wants to leave and don’t get me wrong - I do see why. We are being hammered in the budget, we drive shitty cars, the rain is shit… life in the UK can be pretty shitty right now. he works for a US based company and I am a US citizen as I was born there and spent my life until my early teens there (parents are British and were working out there) so I see why he wants to go -it would be good for his career and would be potential to make money without the huge tax burden of the UK (company based in low state tax state)

but I don’t want to go… I love my life here. I love our village and my kids lovely village school. My family is here and I worry my parents don’t have so much time left.

however i do have to recognise the money aspect- my husbands job could be impacted by AI so i think he is right in thinking we should max out our earning potential while we can and we just won’t be able to do that here as it will just be taxed away.

aibu for sacrificing potentially huge earnings just because I love village life? Would it even be cheaper? I would insist upon private school in the US(went to state school in the us and have a lot of trauma from that!) and we wouldnt sell our house here so would need to rent. Most recent trip to thr us - over a year ago and cost of living was sky high.

I’ll be honest - couldn’t care about the politics. Politics are shit whereever you go!!

Never said weren’t happy contributing did I! Just said after the budget that an economic opportunity was presented again.

and getting rid of net contributers is not what this country needs! I love this country and am proud to be British

Not getting into politics 🤘

Blake the corn syrup. One of the unspoken leftover benefits of the British empire is that most of our supermarket white sugar is still cane sugar from the Caribbean, not beet sugar like most of mainland Europe or corn syrup like the US.

*Because they bake with corn syrup.

American life looks awful. We have cheap food and free healthcare. Our kids don’t get shot in school. And look at their president!

The only thing that matters is your happiness. That's the point of money: to get you things that make you happy. So think carefully about what it is that makes you happy; some things you can buy but somethings are just not for sale.

Way of life, feeling at home, your friends and family; these things are not available at any price over there. What else do you value and cherish here? So how much will you miss them? If not much, then may be you should go. If you're excited by the adventure of a new project, of change...

NGL, haven't read the whole budget but from what I have read, it doesnt spund like the UK is doing anything majorly differently compared to other countries.

If yiu guys want to live in USA, go for it. Yeah, salaries there are better. But it has pros and cons like any other places. As does UK.

Go for it. I really love the thought of worrying about school shootings, ICE raids and a mentally incapable president.
You’ll have a blast.

I don’t think cheese deprivation is a small thing. Life without cheese is barely worth living, imo.

You couldn’t pay me to move to the US.

Have you visited? Looked at the schools? You need to get more info. Is the pension better as well as the salary, for example? Does the US firm have a lot less annual leave? Have you modelled the costs vs how much extra you could save if you lived there 5, 10 years?

I would not want to move away from your parents, that would be the killer for me. Of course you can get good food in the US, and safe areas, good quality of life etc.

if you’re seriously considering it, you need to visit, look at the realistic costs and benefits to all of you.

lol trump is your guy in the states. Go well.

Not to be pedantic but where I lived in the US you get a vast array of amazing cheese, and every other kind of food.

Unless he is on a full international package with bells and whistles (not "local to local"), you are not going to walk away with any meaningful money.

Some things are cheaper, some things are more expensive. Gas is cheaper, but you drive many more miles than you do in the UK. Your house is bigger, and so are your energy bills, etc.

You are very unlikely to profit enough to pay off a mortgage or finance higher education. If your children are destined for college in the US, you are already on the backfoot as you have not been investing in this since their birth.

DH found a good balance of living in the UK but working remotely for a US company. Good pay, good employment protection.

Yes, it is a bit painful tax wise but would be worse in San Francisco with crazy COL. Also remote working is the dream, and so many West Coast offices are expanding their circumference for who they expect to commute in person.

Does he not worry about employment law and general working attitude in the US? Even the unlimited annual leave is never close to the statutory level in the UK. And general expectation to work long weeks. And being easily muscled out if the board don't like you or there is a shake up of the C Suite.... blah. Each to their own, I think it's really tough to go from UK rights to US as a worker. I see the high tax as a fair compromise.

I have quite alot of extended family in the US , on paper they earn loads but obviously probably depending where you live, the cost of housing, private schools and general living seem really high, clothes seem cheap so there’s that I suppose . The village life in the UK sounds lovely!

You live in a continental sized country, so I’m not surprised. The job my husband was asked to move for was in New York, so it had to be within commuting distance of his head office. That said, I know the US has strict rules on pasteurisation. I believe you can only buy unpasteurised cheese directly from the farmer, which makes it much harder to buy a selection. In the U.K. you can buy it in every major supermarket, including discounters like Lidl. My village shop sells a range of local cheeses too. And they are all at prices that you wouldn’t blink at.

I work for a US company and while they do earn a lot more than us, they work significantly more too - a couple of weeks leave is normal over there. They also don't tend to go on holiday in the summer like us because work schedule doesn't really allow it and they have to save their leave in case they are sick and can't work. So then they take it all at Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Compared to here you can be fired or demoted for no reason with no compensation or comeback which is a very difficult position to be in. As a result everyone is super competitive - because without a job you've got no heath insurance and without health insurance you could be ruined for being ill. So they never push back on dumb ideas and accept impossible deadlines.

I have friends who have moved over there for work - and they don't tend to come back, so I guess it can't be all bad!

There are things I love about the States. But if you love British village life, that's certainly one thing that you just can't replicate over there - it's unique to here.

I think the political situation and societal divide is actually far worse over there right now.

If money is the most important thing to you (and I say that not in a sneery way), then do it, but bear in mind the other expenses you'll incur that far, far outweigh their comparables over here.

Does his company give full medical insurance and relocation costs? You couldn't pay me to live in America. Well maybe.... but it would take alot more than just a higher salary.

But then you have to pay healthcare insurance on top…

Good for you but politics has gotten into you, so you and your obvious Tory husband should buckle up and pay your fair share. Do you even realise how privileged you are?

@DeedlessIndeed Goodness yes, you wouldn’t want to live in SF nowadays. Sadly, it’s become a scary place.

Depends whether you want to run the risk of your children being shot at school or not really.

I can understand why you're reluctant, but the things you value like village life and lovely primary school obviously aren't as important to your husband. He is only thinking about amassing wealth. The Oscar Wilde quote 'a man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing' comes to mind here.

Personally I couldn't even consider leaving elderly parents if I was in your position, and realistically it would be totally impractical (and expensive) for you to have to keep flying over to the UK to see them. Would they consider moving back to America, do you think - if you did go?

I have a pretty jaundiced view of working for American companies - my daughter did and it destroyed her mental health. Her terms and conditions were fantastic, high salary, excellent pension benefits and private healthcare. But the expectations were huge and she was putting in many more hours than she was contracted for and was always 'on' with very little support from above. She was also involved in a life threatening situation due to an aggressive parent of an equally aggressive member of staff she was responsible for, and the whole company premises had to be shut down to protect everyone. The member of staff ended up being arrested for criminal damage of an adjoining building - very scary. I was pretty relieved when my daughter left to be honest. Again earning a high salary - but at what cost?

It's pretty fashionable to be knocking Britain at the moment, and of course there are problems here - not least our extremely shit government - but also, as you appreciate, there is also so much good about it. I've always lived in a village albeit in three different parts of the country and they all have the same qualities. Supportive community, lovely countryside, good schools for young children and it fosters a healthy sense of identity. People have your back.

I don't envy you, you've got a very difficult decision to make, particularly as it sounds as though your husband really wants to relocate. It's lovely that you like living here and I'm sure it helps that your parents are British. I have an American friend who is married to a British man, living in the UK and she is a lost soul, always searching for meaning, going on spiritual retreats etc. Her husband is an extremely high earner, his skills being very sought after, and she had a vast inheritance from an American relative but it's sad to see her so unhappy. In her case you get the feeling she would be happier living back home on the East coast.

A difficult situation for you, OP - I don't envy you having to make the decision.

I wouldn't give up a village life I loved for a bit more money, but that doesn't mean it isn't right for you. But I would really hammer down the financial issues first, counting a whole range of factors. If you are going to rent out your house you will probably need to have an agent managing it on your behalf, so count all that in too. Research as many different costs as you can - rent, petrol, groceries, taxes, flights home, loss of your income, transport, school fees etc. If your calculations show you really would be significantly wealthier in the US, that may be your answer. But you may find that the financial advantage is not as great as you thought.