What would you say? I was stumped!

[Whattosay1]

New guy started at work…conversation went like this.
set the scene, he had just mentioned to a co worker that his wife hates eggs so he can’t make them at home so he was happy he could get them in the canteen.
me- ah where does your wife work, I hope they don’t serve eggs there (joking)
him- (laughing)oh she doesn’t work…she’s at home preparing for the baby.
me- oh how lovely. Congratulations’ when is baby due?
him- well she’s not actually pregnant yet…we’re just trying.
me- oh…ok.

other colleagues were very confused…as was I…is this normal? 😆

I would have been confused too 😆 Preparing for the baby that doesn't yet exist!!!

I did this. It was a blessing when we then went through ivf - my previous boss would not have been understanding.

An odd thought here - maybe someone has already mentioned it - but if there is IVF treatments currently that might relate to the wife’s odd distaste for eggs and could explain why the husband mentioned the part about staying at home waiting to be pregnant. He wanted to share all along haha he Not you guided the convo there already.

Why did this prompt you to write a post? I don’t get it? Asking where the wife works was an odd trajectory to take in the first place but you were given a polite, unremarkable answer-small talk over. Why would you need to give that a second thought? Are you looking for reasons to hate on the new guy by any chance because that’s a weird thing for a grown-up to do.

My thoughts were, like another couple of pp, that OP might fancy the new guy - given she seemed so keen to suss her out and then so put out that this guy is supporting her to prepare for their baby.

But the other likelihood is that it is really just a goady thread to bash women who don't work. That really disappoints me, because our society has come so far in terms of opening things up for women to do what they want, not be tied to the home. HOWEVER there is no point in choice if it isn't exactly that: choice. And it is disheartening to think of other women bashing a woman's choice out of jealousy or perhaps small-mindedness in that they can't wrap their little noggin round someone making a choice that differs from theirs. If the wife is supported by her husband - or her own funds 🤑- why should she be subject to negativity? She isn't depending on the taxpayer.

Incidentally, the same applies to men. Provided they are self-funding it ought to be nobody's business. Surely we can all be broad-minded enough to allow others to find their own path without needing to cast judgment.

OP, You're fine. You didn't say anything that was wrong but if you don't mind I'll give you the following the feedback

I never ask to many questions, I wait for them to tell me. Which I suppose could sound like I'm disinterested but, you don't end up putting your foot in your mouth that way. You wait for the information to come to you.

I would never ask where someone's partner worked. It's too personal. I know it seems like a simple little bit of small talk, but I would never bring it up. Because what if she's between jobs and they're very sensitive about that? What if she worked in an exotic massage parlor or some other job that has a low status or sounds a bit odd to most people?

To me, again, I know this seems like small talk but bringing up questions of where do you work is as dangerous a small talk question as what church do you go to and how many children do you have? Not that long ago those would have been perfectly honest simple normal questions but today, they can cause problems so, that's all I'm going to say.