Nanny wearing my slippers when I'm not there

[SilverDoublet]

This is a bit of a weird one - so I popped home today unexpectedly while the nanny was in my house with the kids. Everything seemed fine, but then when she was talking to me I looked down and saw that she was wearing my slippers. It made me feel sick. They're not the cleanest or newest of slippers, but I didn't know what to say. I don't know if she's been doing this the whole time or what but I feel like binning the slippers and hiding my slippers in future. I also feel like letting her go over it. It just makes me wonder what else she might do when I'm not there. She's from Brazil. Is this normal in Brazil to just wear someone else's slippers? Am I being weird to have a total icky feeling about this?

You honestly think putting your feet into someone else's sweaty slippers is the same as using the toilet?

The 2 things aren't comparable

It’s the same in Eastern European countries.

NO! For me it is the WHAT 🤢

I myself many years ago was an English Children’s Nanny in Westchester County, upstate New York, U.S.A. I had a similar problem, whereby our cleaning lady wore my pink leather ballet shoes one day and the children told me so, as even the children knew that it was the wrong thing to do. So I wasn’t best, pleased as for a start I believe her feet were bigger than mine so she was stretching them. Then it was me that had to drive her home, but I really can’t remember what happened after that, because it’s a long time ago and maybe I threw them out because I didn’t know what her hygiene habits were, even so I know it really put me off. But no, you’re not being unreasonable because it’s very rude to do that unacceptable and disrespectful, I certainly wouldn’t do it myself, but then I suppose we all have different standards and I certainly would never do that!

The real question should be is she good with your children. Is she bonded to them and do they like her? Is that worth losing over a pair of slippers. I wouldnt like someone wearing my shoes. It could just be a cultural thing or she doesnt want dirty feet. Have you checked whether she sends money home and cant afford to buy basic essentials or afford her own foot wear. Getting to genuinely know the person responsible for jointly rasing your children might be a good idea. You might consider this a breach of trust. Maybe she has no intent behind this. Is it worth uprooting your children and sacking someone for wearing your slippers. Just make it known you prefer she wears the new slippers you can purchase for her. And your new slippers in a different colour are not to be worn as they are yours. If you suspect she is deliberately wearing them as a passive agressive move. Unlikly but possible. Then the nanny may have feelings of anger to you. I would be asking myself if shes a good person and good with the children. What have I done to upset her? have you treated her with respect?. Do you allow her the correct time off and honour it? Is she doing more than a nanny should in her duties?Household duties like domestic chores. I would expect her to keep her room fit for humans and keep your children general tiddiness after playing. But not for her to do my household chores. As thats a mums or maids job. Sacking for mistreating your children is justifiable, for wearing your slippers is not over some hurt feelings yoh have.

It is such an innocent thing, I would just get her a pair and say that you would prefer if she wore the ones you have bought her as you are concerned about hygiene. Then put yours away somewhere private.

Has she got a contract? Insurance?

this—I would just buy her some slippers

Putting herself in your shoes !, buy her a pair for Christmas - and watch her like a hawk, she dreaming what it’s like to be you.

This, I’m Irish and growing up there nobody would be asked to take their shoes off and if they were ever asked then slippers or socks would be offered. I used to nanny in the UK, and took a nanny friend around for a playdate, she was from the Czech republic and when I asked her to take her shoes off (the mums rules) she couldn’t fathom that there were no slippers offered (even though I didn’t mind being in bare feet) she then proceeded to grab my nanny bosses slippers, I told her not to as the mum would be home soon and would see. I’m pretty sure I’ve slipped on my bosses slippers before when needs be, the same way I’d use their umbrella etc if I forgot mine and had to go out with the kids.

you’re massively overreacting op, she’s not wearing your underwear.

Sorry, was supposed to quote po who said it might be a cultural thing

Cultural thing. Many cultures have a no shoe in the house policy and provide all guest communal slippers. But get some slippers for your house. If you now have the pick about your slippers buy yourself some!

Underwear is cleaned after every use, slippers aren't.

Do you really want your feet enclosed in a place where someone else's sweaty feet have been?

Just yuck.

So you are happy to leave your children with her but don't feel comfortable talking about slippers. I don't think she's the problem here!

Just buy the Nanny some slippers to wear at your house!

Feet are hardly the same as a vulva and ass crack are they?

Lots of nannies do household chores, particularly if they are related to the children and it is a standard line in nanny contracts - when drawing up the contract there is the opportunity at that point for employer and employee to agree what they expect in relation to household chores and specify it.

This is certainly what I’ve always done as it is important to understand expectations from the outset. But every professional nanny I’ve met expects to at least pick up household chores that relate to the children.

Oh dear, is she good with your children? Are you happy to upset your kids and have to find a new nanny just because she’s wearing your slippers? You said yourself they aren’t very nice slippers. Get a grip
woman.

Thank you for your input. What is the remark about looking after my own kids all about, it's a strange thing to jump to. FYI, I have looked after my own kids for years, I was a SAHM for 5 years, until last year. Having any sort of help is still new to me.

Having any sort of help is still new to me.

Most people would have just bought her a pair of slippers and asked her to use them.

How did that not occur to you?

I’d certainly find a bit weird. My cleaner has some footwear of her own that she brings with her and changes into when she arrives.

I would give her the slippers and buy myself new ones but I would have a word with her and make her aware of how unhygienic it is for her to wear your slippers without consent. You then need to set ground rules. If she is good with your children and good at her job, then she deserves another chance I think. You will be making that sacrifice for your children and your home because you don't know what could be coming your way when you hire a new worker.

That's nowt ,I know a plumber that wears their panties and thongs,honestly he does!

Your nanny is supposed to be part of your household and part of your family, she looks are one of the most important parts of your life..... Really it "makes you feel sick" bit harsh, - why don't you buy her a pair. You don't sound like a nice person to work for! My son's nanny growing up was part of our important family unit, and if my slippers fitted her, she was welcome to wear them.

Does she not use the toilet?