Nanny wearing my slippers when I'm not there

[SilverDoublet]

This is a bit of a weird one - so I popped home today unexpectedly while the nanny was in my house with the kids. Everything seemed fine, but then when she was talking to me I looked down and saw that she was wearing my slippers. It made me feel sick. They're not the cleanest or newest of slippers, but I didn't know what to say. I don't know if she's been doing this the whole time or what but I feel like binning the slippers and hiding my slippers in future. I also feel like letting her go over it. It just makes me wonder what else she might do when I'm not there. She's from Brazil. Is this normal in Brazil to just wear someone else's slippers? Am I being weird to have a total icky feeling about this?

Slippers are akin to PJs IMO. I would be very very weirded out if an employee wore mine without asking. If would definitely leave me wondering what other stuff was going on.

YANBU OP. Ignore the crazy ass racism accusations.

Not a sackable offence but definitely needs a conversation to set boundaries.

To be honest, if you can afford a nanny, you can afford to get her some slippers of her own.

as you say it migth be cultural, and not intended as a dig at you.
in east europeean houses and in russia, (far from brazil i know) there ll be a stack of slippers at the front door for visitors to use, so that filthy boots can be taken off and you don't have to go bear foot.
if yo mention it to her, i think your issue will be solved in an instant. she ;; probably apologise and get her own , or some crocs.

That is NOT the point of the OP.

She didn't ask if she should buy the nanny slippers. Such a strange yet predictable response on MN.

OP: I am upset with DH because he doesn't share the mental load.
MN: Get a cleaner (erm no, don't let him off by subcontracting his share of the load - you have all missed the point).

It's almost like, unless you are living in a shoebox at the bottom of a lake then it's open season on pretty much any shitty behaviour.

Exactly! Just get her a pair for your house as a pressie. I’d also just have a wee think about what this is a metaphor for -you don’t need to let her go over wearing your slippers, you’re having a reaction to something else.

In many cultures is normal to provide people coming to your home with indoor footwear, especially if you asked her not to wear shoes inside.

Oh dear, Shame about the slippers, that is so strange… think I would tell her she can have them but you have athletes foot etc, Hopefully she isn’t having a nap in your bed!

This is one of the most aggressively Mumsnet posts I've ever seen.
TALK to her and get some slippers. You're her employer so you should be able to talk to her. If you were old money you'd have tore a strip off her already 🙄

This is a non event. Buy her slippers as one of her gifts for Christmas. Throw your grotty slippers away.

Get a basket with communal slippers and let her know she can use those. Also, ask her to please check with you about personal items she wants to borrow/use moving forward.

Have you literally just copied and pasted the AI overview from google?

I live and work in Brazil. Everyone is very punctilious about hygiene and cleaning here as they have to be in a tropical country such as this, with armies of bugs waiting to invade if room surfaces, floors and so on are not kept clean and disinfected at all times, and so, for the same reason, havaianas and flip flops are the standard casual or working footwear, rather than going barefoot in the house, which I've never seen anyone doing at all. But there's no custom that I know of having communal footwear for everyone to use, which would be considered as unacceptable and risky for infections as here. Everyone, no matter how poor, can afford a pair of flip-flops. I don't think that this has anything to do with the nanny being Brazilian, just a bit of cheek on her part, or, possibly, that there is no footwear available which she considers suitable for her duties around the house. Relations between domestic staff and their employers in Brazil being what they are, she may just possibly think it's your responsibility to provide her with this footwear. If she's normally reliable, I would have a chat with her, clear the air, and ask her if there's anything she really feels she has to be provided with to carry out her duties.

What spoiled, small-minded person gets get knickers in a twist about the help wearing her shoes?

Here's a tip: look after your own kids, clean your own house, and get a grip.

It is a bit strange. But I think thats most likely the case.

🤣🤣 that was my first thought. 🤢 the feet sweat on the slippers.

So this exact thing has happened to me! And not just with my slippers, but my ‘garden shoes’ by the back door too.

And now my daughter (who has really big feet for her age, whereas me and the nanny have small feet) has started doing the same!

At first I was really shocked at first and thought it was a bit personal but to be fair Nannys are personal they are in our homes and see the best and worst of us. But I bought her a little box of bits for her birthday including some slippers, not sure if she got the hint but she leaves them here.

She’s an incredible nanny and this is 1000% not something I ever for a second thought of letting her go over. I found another way round it, but if not I would have talked to her about it and just suggested she leave her own slippers at our house.

Garden shoes are definitely communal! Surely.

When I was child we had one pair by the backdoor and anyone who needed to go into the garden wore them no matter the size of their feet (except the dog, he went barefoot).

Agree garden shoes are better than the slippers - she does slippers too - but she has also done it with it with my trainers and a nice pair of sandals when I left them by the back door 😂

You don’t know the circumstances of why she has a nanny.

How about mind your own business, and get a grip.

Communal slippers? Yuk.

Maybe you should take your own advice (about getting a grip, that is).

I have underfloor heating and always wear slippers. My feet are always cold.
buy her a new pair and stop overreacting.
A sackable offence! Get a grip, she takes good care of your kids.

Total overreaction. She probably had cold feet and was embarrassed that you caught her wearing them and didn’t say anything. Let it go. Worse things happened at sea.

Well I think you know what the right decision is from the consensus on here.

Just a funny cultural story to add here regarding slippers.

A friend of mine came round with a new girlfriend and she was Eastern European, not entirely sure where from; blonde hair, white, maybe Ukrainian? We asked her to remove her shoes to walk around the house which she found strange and visibly looked perturbed. We offered her three different pairs of slippers in her size, all brand-new and unused. She was uncomfortable with all three options and during the kerfuffle I jokingly said would you like the slippers from my wife’s feet, and I shit you not, she actually asked for the ones my wife was wearing (which were her favourites). We were so shocked, my wife laughed it off and gave her, her favourite slippers.

Needless to say, in MN style, we never bothered meeting her again, burned the slippers and I’ve never seen my friend since and we don’t invite anyone’s significant others around anymore, EVER, lol!

My first reaction was "ohhhh...ohhh nooo..."

But having read the comments I've learned it's quite common in other places.

I'm a bit taken back by comments suggesting to "tell her not to" like she's a naughty dog or something!
You certainly cannot sack her because of this. How embarrassing would that be for you all at the employment tribunal!?

Instead of embarrassing your nanny I would buy her a pair of slippers and say quite casually "oh I noticed you were wearing my slippers the other day. We all only wear our own slippers and I'm so sorry I hadn't thought to buy you a pair to wear here! I hope these ones will be okay for you? They can be yours when you're here! If you ever need anything else or notice something isn't how you're used to please do let me know"

If you scold her she might be nervous to come to you with important things she's noticed or observed with your children.

If this is all you have to worry about your very lucky .Is she allowed to use your toilet or does she have to piss in a bucket outside ? Re the slippers,why don't you treat her to a decent pair or failing that deduct the cost from her no doubt minimim wage pay after you've beaten her with a stick for daring to wear your slippers Maam