Nanny wearing my slippers when I'm not there

[SilverDoublet]

This is a bit of a weird one - so I popped home today unexpectedly while the nanny was in my house with the kids. Everything seemed fine, but then when she was talking to me I looked down and saw that she was wearing my slippers. It made me feel sick. They're not the cleanest or newest of slippers, but I didn't know what to say. I don't know if she's been doing this the whole time or what but I feel like binning the slippers and hiding my slippers in future. I also feel like letting her go over it. It just makes me wonder what else she might do when I'm not there. She's from Brazil. Is this normal in Brazil to just wear someone else's slippers? Am I being weird to have a total icky feeling about this?

How odd! You expect your nanny to spend hours looking after your kids in your house in shoes? Buy some slippers and offer them to her. She is being super kind and considerate by taking her shoes off. But her feet must be cold. Poor girl. Do you not offer slippers to guests?!

Not weird at all! The thought of another person's sweaty feet in my slippers is disgusting 🤮 just as bad, if not worse, than sleeping in an unchanged bed when you are a guest YUK!

It’s probably cultural and normal for her, she probably sees it as respectful in your home instead of wearing her shoes.
Some people have a few pairs of slippers and visitors just choose a pair.

Perhaps have some grace and provide her with some to wear in your home.
I find your reaction a little over the top.

If you can afford a nanny then buy her a pair to wear in your house. Ask her if she'd like some of her own! Feeling sick because someone is wearing your slippers? Too priveleged and not living in the real world 🙄

But you clearly feel a need to wear slippers despite the underfloor heating, so maybe she was cold, esp if she comes from a warmer climate.

We have underfloor heating downstairs too, but I still wear slippers.

I’d just get her a pair, and replace yours. I agree it feels a bit weird and gross but honestly there are bigger things to worry about.

This is SUCH an odd response, she doesn’t need therapy because she doesn’t like someone wearing her slippers. Your reaction is very over the top.

Well I had the same issue with my (male) cleaner wearing my flip flops while cleaning! I just bought him his own pair and the issue was solved. He was from the Philippines so I didn’t know if it was normal there but I thought it was the easy solution.

Eew! I'd have the ick too. Buy new ones for yourself and keep them hidden. Leave the old ones by the door so she can wear them if she wishes.

They are poor in Brazil and seldom wear anything on there feet . Watch Latins are very good in bed???

I'm Brazilian and I would find it pretty yucky for someone to be wearing my slippers. Was she wearing socks at least? Having said that, it's quite unfair for her to be cleaning your house barefoot in the cold - and often carrying her own in public transport is a bit a of a drag. Maybe get her a pair of flip flops that she can leave at your house and tell her you prefer her not to wear yours?. There's no cultural sensitivity you need to be careful with here, if anything Brazilians are more careful than the English about not sharing their personal belongings, toiletries, towels etc.

We’re a shoes off house but all of our regular guests have slippers here and then we have a bunch of spare slippers for other guests. I would provide her with some slippers to wear at your home.

I think it’s cultural. I wouldn't find it odd for someone to wear my slippers but for me that maybe growing up sharing absolutely everything because of scarcity. The only think that would bother me is if she wore them when I needed them or didn’t put them back where I keep them x

As you don’t want to wear them again, give them to her or buy yourself and her a new pair and tell her her you have veruccas. That should stop her wearing them again.

You let strangers in the house - be prepared for anything, and I mean anything. Even if I ever were to win 3 lotteries and were drowning in cash, I would never let a stranger in my living space, no butler, no cleaners, no nannies (I would drop my dc off to the nanny's space, no problem - it is not the nanny that is a problem for me, it is strangers in my space in general). Creeps me out. Several years ago, for a big clean of the house, I hired a cleaning company. I followed them, like a proverbial dog, watching their every move and did not care two hoots if they found it intimidating/unpleasant, etc.

I would treat her to a nice pair for Christmas and keep those old ones to one side for a few months, so she doesn’t get offended. Then buy yourself a new pair and keep them hidden. Then the nanny has either your old one to wear or her new ones, either way you get a new pair!

I hope she is wearing your knickers too.
You are the kind of person who shouldn't have a nanny.
There is no point of explaining you why... Just don't.

She doesn't need therapy because she doesn't like it. She might because it's making her feel sick and she wants to fire the nanny.

It's all about extremes of response. If something so innocuous troubles you so deeply it is worth exploring why...and that's what therapy is for.

Oh dear, oh deary me...

Hygiene* *& cultural differences aside...this is deeply troubling.

Work with me here:
Imagine someone you greatly admire, from your favourite movie star, royalty, to Shirley Bassey or Adel? (Whoever you admire). Then imagine they got caught in a freak storm one night and found shelter in YOUR home!

They need something to sleep in, perhaps next morning you come downstairs to find said heroine in your humble slippers! Sipping coffee!!!

Notice how different that would feel? Those old slippers, hygiene be dammed, would likely become prized positions.

You see it's not the "What", but the "Who". In this case you clearly have a negative bias towards your Nanny. Which is NOT her issue.

Chill 😎

Gosh - overreaction and zero cultural awareness, let alone respect! Perhaps you need a nanny who is from your culture (whatever that is)

Yes but in most other countries people would not dream of wearing outdoor shoes inside a home. It's just so ingrained. I still cringe when I see people not remove shoes in a house, my parents brought us up to always remove shoes.
She probably thinks it would be disgusting to wear her shoes in your home.

That is a hygiene issue

You may not have asked her. But it maybe customary where she is from not to wear outdoor shoes in the house. Perhaps others have provided for them.
Could be a communication problem. You have a problem with her and your first thought is I must ask Mumsnet. And your next you feel sick. Then you want to sack her.
I mean. Try talking to her first before all this other stuff. Might help.

You've never heard of people taking shoes off in the house? In most civilised countries we have "guest" slippers, its disgusting to walk around the house in outdoor she's especially if there is a young child crawling around.