Nanny wearing my slippers when I'm not there

[SilverDoublet]

This is a bit of a weird one - so I popped home today unexpectedly while the nanny was in my house with the kids. Everything seemed fine, but then when she was talking to me I looked down and saw that she was wearing my slippers. It made me feel sick. They're not the cleanest or newest of slippers, but I didn't know what to say. I don't know if she's been doing this the whole time or what but I feel like binning the slippers and hiding my slippers in future. I also feel like letting her go over it. It just makes me wonder what else she might do when I'm not there. She's from Brazil. Is this normal in Brazil to just wear someone else's slippers? Am I being weird to have a total icky feeling about this?

Massive over-reaction on your part. Do you have germ phobias or mental health problems? Buy the lass some slippers of her own -problem solved.

I don’t think you’re overreacting about feeling sick OP. I couldn’t stand the thought of someone else’s clammy/sweaty feet in my slippers all day then putting my feet in and they’re still warm or clammy.
I wouldn’t be wanting someone to lose their job over it though, just leave them out and she can have them and buy yourself new ones and hide them. Easy.

I went into a Ukrainian woman's house (in the UK) and she offered me to take some slippers from a row of slippers in the hall.

My instinct tells me op is a guy with a foot fetish getting off on people being disgusted at this situation

Maybe because they aren’t the clean/new slippers, she thought she could wear them as they were old.

It is odd but not a sackable offence

Id get her a pair for the house.

I'm from Portugal and living in the UK. When you visit someone's home in Portugal especially if it's a nicer house it's common to take off your shoes, even if the host doesn't ask. The host usually provides slippers, and it doesn't matter who they belong to as long as they fit.

She wasn’t trying to use your personal things. Those were probably the only slippers available or the only pair that fit, and she was actually trying to be respectful by not wearing shoes inside.

I personally don’t find it odd. Buy a pair of slippers and tell her they're hers to use. It’s such an easy fix.

Maybe not a stackable offence. But still disgusting. What if she has some contagious foot disease/problem like toe nail fungi?

Sounds odd and weird to me.

I don't think she can be trusted in your house.

Actually mind blown that the OP and multiple people on this thread who think this is a sackable offense!!
I'll give you a bit icky, but worth sacking an otherwise good nanny over...🤯
If they are old anyway, but yourself a new pair and a pair for the nanny whilst your at it, tell here some people might think it's silly, but you hate the idea of other people's feet on your slippers so you have brought her a pair to wear whilst she's there. Drama solved. Feet warm.

Maybe her feet were cold?

I’d buy her a pair for Christmas. No big deal.

Bin your grotty old ones and buy both of you a new (different) pair, when you give them to her apologise for not having done so previously. I wouldn't want to wear shoes in someone else's home but equally bare or socked feet can be chilly this time of year. She works in your home provide her with the things she needs to do so.

Don't buy them for Christmas! It would be like my boss giving me a laptop riser as a gift.

😂 😂 such a good point!

Barely 😂

No, he has fungal feet

Total overreaction on your part, OP. I’d be more bothered about whether she cares for your children well, and keeps them safe.

You say your slippers aren’t new or particularly clean - she’s more likely to have picked something up from your manky slippers tbh. Get a grip.

Buy your nanny some slippers ( not as a Christmas gift ! ) some really nice ones that look very different to your slippers .
Throw your old slippers out and get yourself a new pair .
I have spent a significant amount of time in Japan and have worn house shoes that have been left in the entryway for guests to wear but I always wear socks ( little lightweight invisible sneaker socks in warmer weather and thicker socks for cold weather there )

I think it's not likely she's never been upstairs in your house if she is spending 3 hours there every day. She's spending a lot of time with your kids every day, and she's probably playing with them in addition to helping with homework, snacks, etc. Games tend to migrate through our house and are not isolated to one floor.

I wonder whether your perception of how embedded she is in your family life/close she is to everyone and her perception of that are not aligned, which may lead to situations like this where you think she is acting too familiar.

I'd have been shocked too and I'm sorry you're being piled on in the comments (but it's Mumsnet so I shouldn't be surprised!!)
It could be a cultural thing. I'm a community nurse and we're not supposed to take our shoes off (safety risk) but I have visited patients from other countries where I've been asked to wear communal slippers provided by the hosts. And I've worn them.
But maybe just ask her!

She's only there 3 hours, 3 days a week. My kids don't tend to play upstairs as bedrooms are small and we keep toys etc downstairs. I was a SAHM until last year and all of us rarely went upstairs apart from mornings and bedtime. She may have been up there once or twice but certainly hasn't been up regularly.

You can't say anything without being called racist lately. Ignore it

Ok. Again, I just wonder whether part of the root issue here, beyond the slippers, is that you perceive her to basically be an occasional helper with homework and post-school activities for the kids, and she might feel she's more integrated into the family. That difference in perception of her role/importance/job could lead to misunderstandings like this.

Well least you know she hasn’t been touching your undies as well as wearing slippers

You sound vile. I’m sure you have a house rule about no shoes indoors which is why she is wearing them. I’d get you both new ones to wear. Also if she is your nanny no thought to your kids by removing someone they potentially like.

That’s pretty gross!
I don’t know why she’d put them on either in that state… but TBH I I wouldn’t wear my own slippers if they were in the way you describe either.

Be kind and maybe but her some slippers to use at your house. You could give them and say so you don't need to use mine, you have bought her her own

Could be cultural - my non English MIL always puts mine on and it bothers me but I have never said anything.