How unreasonable would it be to lie about my son’s age so he can join our gym?

[WinoLino]

He’s 14. Getting into things he shouldn’t be getting into a bit. I think the gym would be a great distraction. Me, his dad and his 18 year old sister all go to the gym. It’s aged 16 and up though. I’m a rule follower at all times so I’m not saying we will do it. However, how unreasonable would it be if we were to say he is 16? Is it even possible, thinking they might want to see ID.

He will train only with us and his dad really knows what he’s doing (has spent his whole life training in the gym) so the risk of injury is lessened but of course it’s there nonetheless. Am I not thinking straight?

Why would you lie? And as someone else said, why would you show him that you think it would be acceptable to do so? Would you lie about his age so he could get a child’s ticket for train travel, for example? Or entry to a cinema? How is this different? Not every rule is there to be broken, and there’s every possibility you’d be found out.

What about some kind of martial art? Teaches discipline too

Indeed. I was present in my gym only last week when a man tripped and incurred a head injury.

Why does that not surprise me, it is wrong

Please refrain from giving stupid anx potentially dangerous advice then.

What religion is he / are you? You mentioned Soul Church - there are some fabulous online church services if you are not able to take him to some of the group meetings.

If he was seriously injured, or worse, you might change your mind.

I find it hard to believe that a responsible parent would even consider this. Telling lies and possibly putting your son at risk.

I can’t keep saying it, I’m not going to lie. I’ve thought about it and changed my mind, which is what people do all the time.

Definitely lied to get my kids into cinema, how bad am i

In your case I would speak to the gym. Three of you are paying membership, presumably good, considerate people.

is it insurance or is it for the comfort of other members? you will not know until you ask.

they may say, sorry, go away. Or they may say yes that’s fine but only if you are there and you sign x disclaimer.

or yes between these times.

I think most places are happy to try and help members if they can. or they may reconsider their approach overall.

while part of me leans to the who cares, don’t mention it, this isn’t sneaking into an attraction for the wrong age and a ban would impact your daughter.

Are there any outdoor gyms at the local park?

We have a few dotted around that you could go to as a family?

Could he join another sports club? Martial arts? Running? Racquet sports?

I admire people who can change their mind.

On topic, boxing might be worth looking at (or some other martial art like Muay Thai). They offer discipline and also intrinsic rewards like impressive skills, strength, fitness, and things like endorphins which if he is feeling sad, may help to lift him.

Or (and I know this is a long and wild shot for a teenage boy) a decent yoga class- for many of the same reasons. Something like Ashtanga, Forrest, Power, Rocket, or Vinyasa Flow would usually offer a strong workout as well as the other benefits that yoga can bring like improved mood, sleep, regulation and so on.

Gym culture can have its downsides too so sport might be a better bet. Not sure that playing guitar makes drug taking less likely! Brazilian jiu jitsu, Muay Thai or climbing all have fairly healthy subcultures full of potential role models as well as being a good way to burn off some worries.

My 14yr old joined a 16+ gym. Loads of their friends the same age were members too. Kickboxing was a great activity too until an unreated injury meant he could go for a few months.

At 14, I don't think its unusual to be experimenting with alcohol and drugs.

“Getting into things he shouldn’t be getting into”

He needs your time and attention, not a gym.

As a teacher this drives me insane. All our local gyms are full of 14 year old kids I teach because their parents lie about their age.

Even if I wasn't a teacher I don't want to hang around with children!

I have a 13 year old and some of her friends go to the local council gym. So I’d start looking into options even if it’s a longer drive. It’s a dangerous age (I was a mess as a teenager and definitely had smoked and drank by then, it wasn’t a good time and took me years to get out of it).

otherwise consider boxing, martial arts (my son does taekwando and it’s a nice mix of ages and genders), bouldering (my daughter loves it and the local place has a teen group you can join. She’s too busy or she’d be a member for sure). Maybe parkour? Is he into board games or anything like that? And definitely look for music options if he’s a musician - there might be a teen group of some sort he could try.

I never had any hobbies and had way too much free time as a teenager. I’ll drive my daughter anywhere to keep her busy!

Insurance aside I also think if he’s starting to get into trouble showing him that it’s ok to break rules if it suits you is a bad example to set.

Surely they will ask for id

We did with ds1 but he was only 3 months off being 18 (the age needed to go when the gym was unstaffed). Still not right but far closer to the correct age than your DS is @WinoLino. Do you think he would pass for 16? At 14 ours definitely wouldn’t have.

Hey OP, I won’t tell you not to do it again 🤣 but glad you’ve made that decision, you’d absolutely ruin your own relationship with the gym if they found out.

Have you considered other training with discipline for him? Boxing clubs? Rugby training is excellent too. Maybe run something like that by him - a friend of mine coaches teenagers and he says sports like this transform them. He taught teens MMA for a while too and said that was fantastic.

He has plenty thank goodness 🥰

Thank you, helpful advice

Very, he won’t be insured if he gets injured.

the rules are in place for a reason