How unreasonable would it be to lie about my son’s age so he can join our gym?

[WinoLino]

He’s 14. Getting into things he shouldn’t be getting into a bit. I think the gym would be a great distraction. Me, his dad and his 18 year old sister all go to the gym. It’s aged 16 and up though. I’m a rule follower at all times so I’m not saying we will do it. However, how unreasonable would it be if we were to say he is 16? Is it even possible, thinking they might want to see ID.

He will train only with us and his dad really knows what he’s doing (has spent his whole life training in the gym) so the risk of injury is lessened but of course it’s there nonetheless. Am I not thinking straight?

Ok ok, you’ve all convinced me it’s a terrible idea. We don’t have a council gym as far as I know. He will not go for scouts, no way. He’s getting a guitar for Christmas so let’s hope that keeps him occupied for now. Thank you all for being kind 😊

They might withdraw the whole family's membership if they try to enrol her son and lie.

Could you all train at home a couple of times a week (different times if necessary for different sorts of training) and he can join in that way? So weights with mum, cardio with dad that kind of thing? Or all of you do an online class together if that's not too cringe for him?!

Why can't you just use a gym that will allow him to attend?

That’s given me the ick. That’s how 50 year old
divorced men refer to themselves when they’re sliding into DM’s they’ve no business being in 😂

I would lie. If they ask for ID then just cancel. You’re not going to sue if he gets injured and he’ll be supervised.

It's not about whether you would sue or not.

They would be required to keep a record of/report injuries. It might require an inspection of the equipment etc to investigate what the cause of the injury was, whether appropriate training and supervision is in place.

It could invalidate their insurance across the board and land them in serious legal trouble if you lie.

Which is why they'd most likely ask for ID anyway.

My daughter wasn't allowed to join my yoga class at 14. It feels ridiculous because, to a parent, there's not much difference in capacity between a 14 and 16 year old but the law doesn't allow it.

ETA actually I think it was 14 for yoga and she was 13.

😂

Scouts 😂 when he’s clearly starting to go down the wrong path. You won’t get the honest answers you’re looking for here OP. You can’t be honest or you’re ripped to shreds!

What would you do in 2 years time when I assume he would need an adult membership?
I think it would be really unfair towards the gym staff.
It doesnt matter if your DH has been going to the gym for years. Stuff happens - thats why they are called accidents
Ive been going to my gym for 20 years, had a near miss stepping off a treadmill last week

Don't most teens/people lie about their age at some point, its hardly makes one a mastermind criminal

@snoopythebeagle they are too expensive or too far away

Could you not invest in some basic kit for the house to all use together there. A bench and adjustable dumbbells maybe

Scouts is so good, but you do have to sign them up to Beavers when they're six and get them in that way! Very hard to convince a 14 year old to join!

What about army cadets? That's maybe slightly more palatable...

Is there a local boxing club or something like that for boys?

Find another gym that is from 14 up?!

Mumsnet is not the place to come to ask about breaking rules

Then he'll have to wait until he's 16 and you can sign him up for something more affordable in the meantime.

@Redpeach and @LamentingalwaysI know, to be fair I expected to get more of a flaming than I actually have!

Any advice regarding how to help 14 year old boys feel better about themselves without resorting to alcohol or weed?

It is finding a hobby. That is the solution.

It's finding which hobby that is the problem as you're finding. Particularly, when the bad decisions have already started.

What do you have locally in terms of sports, clubs, activities?

It would have to be something outside of the home like a club - he will think anything with his parents is 'lame' I would imagine!
Rugby club (brilliant for discipline), any kind of sports club, police cadets, Matt Fiddes martial arts (any kind of martial arts), music lessons (possibly online with his guitar?) is there a group linked to his school that supports young people at risk of offending - not that I'm suggesting he is at risk but it might be worth asking?

Sorry if I'm barking up the wrong tree. But it sounds as if you've joined a gym that everyone in the family can use except your son. And for some reason it is too inconvenient to go elsewhere. I'd get your dh to find somewhere he can go and train with ds.

Have you thought about a local boxing club?
Boxing teaches physical and mental discipline, confidence, resilience, and self-control, while also serving as an effective outlet for stress and a way to build discipline. Through its physical and mental demands, it helps individuals improve their focus, problem-solving skills, and overall well-being by providing a strong sense of accomplishment and a healthy way to channel emotions.
Where in the country are you Op?

@WinoLino
If you and your DH and DD all go to the gym maybe he feels excluded. Can you not find a sport you can do together?
For various reasons my son was a bit tricky at that age. I found bashing tennis balls about quite useful. Also swimming, he would thrash up and down the pool, Id watch from the bubble pool

Sports or a club of some kind. Boxing, Judo, Martial Arts etc.