How unreasonable would it be to lie about my son’s age so he can join our gym?

[WinoLino]

He’s 14. Getting into things he shouldn’t be getting into a bit. I think the gym would be a great distraction. Me, his dad and his 18 year old sister all go to the gym. It’s aged 16 and up though. I’m a rule follower at all times so I’m not saying we will do it. However, how unreasonable would it be if we were to say he is 16? Is it even possible, thinking they might want to see ID.

He will train only with us and his dad really knows what he’s doing (has spent his whole life training in the gym) so the risk of injury is lessened but of course it’s there nonetheless. Am I not thinking straight?

@NuffSaidSam sorry I wasn’t clear. There have been 4 occasions where he has consumed alcohol or weed in total. And he’s told us every single time. I agree it is concerning. But I want to keep it in proportion. I made a GP appointment for him but I’m not sure what they can do, I’m a mental health nurse myself and am trained in a therapy that could be quite helpful for him but he wouldn’t meet the criteria to receive it and doesn’t want to talk to a professional anyway which is fair enough.

He’s extremely sensitive and worries a lot 😢

Lots of gyms allow 11+, I’d sign him up to one of those.

Do you really want to be THAT family?

Depends on the circles in which your kids move. I'd say its definitely not the norm at 14, any more than having sex or menacing the general public on a surron.

There are gyms for under 16’s there’s gyms round mine for 12+ but can’t use weights or weight machines. My DD school has a gym and they are encouraged to use it. I wouldn’t be keen on the lying about age but I think it’s a great thing to get him into xx

No it's not unusual and it's not an inevitable path to worse. So your strategy of finding other interests is exactly the way to go. My sister was the same and our parents supported her into a hobby and it worked out fine. You've identified it's a time to make some interventions which is the main thing.

Teaching your child to lie is wrong though? Regardless of insurance.

Kid at my gym fell off the treadmill and needed skin grafts on both his lower legs 😱 I wouldn’t trust a kid in the gym

People his age should not use the equipment. They also shouldn't train with weights and should only use body weight exercises because they are still growing.

Join him

We did lie for my DS but he was 15 not 14, so just changed his year of birth by one year. No one ever checked and I know there was a risk with insurance etc but we decided to risk it.

I'd try to tap into that enthusiasm if possible. I think that having a passion for something is really beneficial in the teenage years, and it doesn't really matter what the "thing" is (within reason!) All my DC had various hobbies through their teens and I really think that helped keep them out of trouble. For starters, obviously if they have something that is time consuming it limits the opportunity for getting up to no good, but I think it's more than that - I think it helps with self esteem and a sense of who you are, and meeting other like minded youngsters is a big plus. Doesn't really matter if it's a sport, music, art, coding, anything really as long as it's positive. If the guitar is his current enthusiasm I'd try to take advantage of that. If it's something that he's initiated it's more likely to last than something that you suggest anyway.
It's a tricky stage but you sound like a caring Mum who's trying to do the right thing so hopefully everything will settle down soon.

Bloody hell people on mumsnet really are bonkers these days.
sooo many people saying they need to find another gym?’ That was not the OP’s question. Not everyone has multiple gyms near their home 🙄

Join him where?

OP if he has appetite for working out then could you find maybe an additional activity that you could do with him - eg pickle ball lessons? Karate? Cycling?

I’m afraid I don’t know if is the forum for me. I’ve been here 20 years under different names but I rarely post as I see how people are spoken to on here. Maybe I just need a break! There have been some very helpful responses though and for you and others I am grateful ☺️

He sounds like he could do with some more time with you or his dad. Is there some sport you can join together (park-run is always good as it’s free and you can do it in lots of places, plus he can beat you which teenage boys always enjoy). Guitar is a good idea but is not going replace socialising with mates as it’s a pretty solo activity until you teach a point you want to play with other people.

OP... Would he be interested in cadets? You get combined forces cadets and single ones. My daughter loved air cadets at that age.

It is for safety reasons do not do this

Do you have a climbing wall or bouldering gym anywhere near you?
They often have teen climbing courses so he'd be with young people his age. Climbing instructors tend to be a diverse bunch that are usually seen as a bit edgy by younger people. Climbing is great for fitness and building muscle as you're using your body weight.

My grandson goes to the gym with his daddy at 8. Find out who does do this

I wouldn't think twice about it tbh!

I'm sure I've seen kids with adults in my gym. Maybe you could arrange a tour with an adult to get him into the idea. Buy some hand weights In the meantme. Or a Private PT lesson. I personally think gym is a great distraction. Brilliant for my adhd.

How about the while family training towards some sort of goal e.g. a half marathon. You could download a free app to help with pacing and you'd only need to pay for some good running shoes.

To the gym.

My DC said he was 16 when 15. I found out later but was glad he was going to the gym. It’s not like lying to get cigarettes or something. I don’t understand the insurance argument. It covers the gym in case of accident. I’m ok to take the risk.