Big fall out - who is (most) in the wrong?

[Dibrew]

I would welcome opinions on this situation which is currently playing out.

Person A is a masseuse, working part time evenings out of a leisure centre attached to a secondary school.

Person A told Person B that she had terminated a session with the male partner of Person C. Person A doesn’t know Person C, but she knows Person B is friends with them.

Person B tells Person C of what was said by Person A. The session was terminated due to him offering money towards the end of this for sexual services.

Person C’s partner strongly denies this. Person C accuses Person A of breaking data protection rules and says Person B is attempting to shit stir.

Yes she negligently didn’t wank him off.

We're protecting the perpetrator because the victim is a woman.

They do think that a librarian should keep quiet about being flashed in the non-fiction section and just meekly report it to the head librarian.

Or the Lollipop lady who is groped by a passing Dad...she shouldn't tell his wife or anyone from the school. No. She should report it to the head Lollipop and leave it there.

They're probably lying anyway.

I think I just had a stroke trying to make sense of that muddle of words 🤯

Yes. That’s exactly what he was after

If I walked up to you and said "if I give you £100 will you have sex with me?" I would not have broken the law. If you walked up to me and said "if you give me £100 I will have sex with you" then you would have broken the law.

Kerb crawling has only been illegal since 2009, previously to that it was done so that the women would offer their services to the men so if the police were inthe area it would only be her that would be charged, not him.

Mandy Rice-Davies I believe.

Soliciting then which is a crime.

That poster wasn't saying that at all. If you read the post she quoted then hers it is very clear she lays the blame at the man's door and is saying his wife is being naive. Don't accuse other posters of being sexual abusers just because your comprehension skills are incredibly poor.

Women:

If a friend of a friend’s husband propositions you with prostitution, shout it from the fucking rooftops.

Don't cover for these predators.

Its a difficult one though and it would be unlikely to get a conviction. Technically, as they were not in a public place and he didnt physically assault her, it isnt illegal. Exchanging money for sex is not illegal. Its soliciting in public that is, or paying those who have been trafficked, underage or other forms of coercion. But the act of offering and/or accepting money for sex in a private place is not.

Thats precisely why so many "massage parlours" are just fronts for brothels, but they tend to be more insalubrious than a council run leisure centre, which suggests he isnt the sharpest tool in the box (pun intended).

Person A should have minded her own business. Fine to cancel his future services.

Person C is an idiot. Her partner defo did it.

Only Person B behaved reasonably as far as I can see

In pretty sure being sexually propositioned at work was very much her own business (literally in the case of the massage).

Person A should not have told person B anything. Person B is nothing to do with the business and it seems as though the only reason for telling Person B would be to ensure it got back to Person C. Unless the verbal exchange was recorded how can Person A prove it?

Firstly A is allowed to talk about this with whomsoever she wants, she is the wronged party here! I would be shocked and want to talk about it if it were me.

And secondly, so the hell what if she wanted C to know about it?! Why wouldnt you want a woman to know what her sleazebag husband is up to if you could? That C is swallowing his obvious bullshit because she doesnt want to deal with him doing this is not A's fault for it happening, or B's fault for telling her.

Assuming it happened: in order of who is most U:
Person C partner is a sex predator and gdpr does not apply.
person c is an idiot.
person b just passed on information it depends if they were asked to keep it in confidence
person a should report but as SA routinely don’t get investigated at all properly I can see why they wouldn’t.

Fair enough but once person A discloses this, then they should surely expect a shit storm to ensue even if A was well meaning. I haven't read all 11 pages, so I dont know if A is now upset and a shit storm has indeed erupted.

What a sh#tsh#w. Sympathy for Miss C. As for A & B as an earlier poster stated, the latter is a proper, hurtful stirrer and I’m left wondering that if the Sleazebag had upped his offer to the indiscreet former, maybe there wouldn’t have been a story to tell.

She can tell anyone she damned well pleases, and a shit storm is not of her making. It's down to the sexual harasser and his credulous partner.

Men like this rarely face consequences. Women are doubly victimised - first by the sex pest himself, then by society for having rh audacity to speak out.

That is a hateful, misogynistic slur. You should be ashamed of yourself.

Person A is unprofessional, and deliberately put Person B in a bad situation.

Of course she can, I don't dispute it, but what was to be gained by telling B other then having someone to confide in? If someone has made an unwanted sexual advance in those circumstances, essentially her workplace, I would assume leisure centre management would be the "official" first port of call? But I imagine she's self employed and rents a space so actually nothing to do with the leisure centre? Soooo I can see why A told B as an attempt to unofficially deal with it, perhaps knowing it would reach C. But then C's partner can easily deny, which is of course why he did it, knowing A doesn't really have anywhere to turn. Unless she's going to report it to the police. What it really highlights is that A is very vulnerable in her current working arrangements.

Person Cs Hudband sleazy bloke is most wrong
Person C is then next wrong but probably shocked
Person A was unprofessional (unless person B is also a masseuse)
Person B could either be a shit stirrer or if C is a close friend they were put in a difficult situation so depends how well they know C.

Agree.

Her own business is her getting sexually harassed by a sleazy man. It directly involves her. She can tell anyone she wants!

Why does person A have to be able to prove it to tell her pal / her colleague / whoever?! Why shouldn’t she tell someone she’s been sexually harassed at work? Are you serious?