Big fall out - who is (most) in the wrong?

[Dibrew]

I would welcome opinions on this situation which is currently playing out.

Person A is a masseuse, working part time evenings out of a leisure centre attached to a secondary school.

Person A told Person B that she had terminated a session with the male partner of Person C. Person A doesn’t know Person C, but she knows Person B is friends with them.

Person B tells Person C of what was said by Person A. The session was terminated due to him offering money towards the end of this for sexual services.

Person C’s partner strongly denies this. Person C accuses Person A of breaking data protection rules and says Person B is attempting to shit stir.

And you’d certainly tell a friend who you know spends time around that man.

How do you know she didn't report it?

I agree she could be lying.

What she isn't doing though is gossiping.

She's either accurately reporting being sexually propositioned at work or she's deliberately lying. Both options are awful. There is no gossip here. There is only a perpetrator and a victim.

If I were on the jury, based on what the OP has said, I would convict him. But that's just my view.

I tell his wife directly if I knew her. But yes otherwise I'd pass a message through a friend.

If I was the wife I'd want to know too. Wouldn't you?

It's in everyone's best interests for women to know who the perverts are.

How do you know she hasn't reported it to the police/her employer?

Why does everyone seem to know so much more than the OP? Which letter are you in this scenario?!

Madness, isn't it?

Of course the real order looks more like:

C's sleazeball partner

...

...

...

B
C
A

This thread is EXACTLY why most victims do not report sexual harrassment, abuse, assault up to and including rape and anal rape.

"Well there is no proof so she could be lying".

Why do you think that there is such an avalanche after a predator is finally convicted of other women coming forward? Because they feel that they might FINALLY be believed!

Are women allowed to tell their mothers if they are sexually harassed? Their sisters? Their friends? Colleagues? Where is the line? Why is there a line? (There’s isn’t).

This is one of the most depressing threads I've read in a long time.

“She has no evidence” is a question for any investigation, not for her in deciding whether to tell anyone. In many rape cases there might not be evidence. Should the victim think “wait it’s my word against his and I have no evidence so I shouldn’t say a word”? Or does she speak and leave the question of evidence to the police?!

Well he would, wouldn't he? Unless he accused her before she made the accusation, I think the chances of this being true are infinitesimally small. Especially as he was the "client" and she was at her place of work.

Quite

Mandy Rice Davies said so eloquently in the Profumo court case when Lord Astor denied having sex with her "well he would, wouldnt he"

Tale as old as time. Man caught out being a sleaze, and he denies it because he has so much to lose.

In an ideal world women would always be believed. In the real world they're not. If she had gone straight to the man's partner it may have gone differently but now it looks like nasty gossip and that could damage her reputation.

It only looks like nasty gossip to people who think that women make stuff like this up more than men DO this kind of stuff.

Which, tbf, does appear to be a large number of posters on this thread. It's quite disconcerting.

@Dibrew What does B say about what A told her? Does she believe it to be true and told C in this sense? Or she believes A is lying and told her in that way?

1. C's husband - obviously
2. C - He obviously did what is alleged
3. B - for telling C over the phone in front of him
4. A - Victim

Nah… when someone is sexually harassed they are under no professional obligation to be discrete about it.

If he didn't want to be 'gossiped' about then he shouldn't have been a dirty fucker offering women money for sexual favours. The term gossip has been used over centuries to belittle and dismiss women talking to each other and telling each other important information. Like when their husband is a dirty perv! It's the original Karen circa 1600.

Jesus

Why should you have to act professional to being sexually approached at work?

Why has the victim got to adhere to data protection and the criminal gets to keep his confidentiality?

Why isn't person B seeing it as woman to woman warning each other about a predatory man?

Kerb crawling is illegal. Offering money for sex to an unwilling person would I think be illegal?

I hope Person A has good insurance for working as a freelance self-employed masseuse. I would absolutely escalate it but I would not be telling someone who is another client or a friend because that has allowed him to build a defence and it’s probably going to be harder for her to get this taken seriously as a result.

'Person A was unprofessional to tell mutually known people'

But isn't that why she SHOULD tell her. Because they have a mutual Risk? But there is nothing unprofessional about making a sexual predator known.

What do you think is happening here? There’s no mention of any legal proceedings.

Exactly. Imagine if person A was a librarian/Lollipop Lady/Solicitor. Would she have to remain 'professional' and remember 'GDPR' and confidentially about a sexual predator in that situation? Why are we protecting the perpetrator because the victim is a masseuse?

@SALaw I realise that but I just think that when someone is in a certain type of hands-on role and something like this happens it’s best to use professional channels rather than talk about the incident to friends or people whose associations you don’t know, for you’re own protection. The insurance comment was about protecting oneself in the face of claims of negligence or malpractice which I’ve seen happen from disgruntled clients (thankfully not happened to me) and it’s something he could (in theory) do. However, I’ll admit that I have learned to be paranoid and work back from a starting point of Worst Case Scenario.