Unwell Father Removing Shoes

[CyanSloth]

Hi All
Long time lurker but first time poster. Unfortunately myself and my other half have had a disagreement which I wanted some perspective on. We generally operate a no shoes house policy which has been somewhat harmonious. My elderly father (who’s had several falls over the last few weeks) has generally always been on board and removed his shoes. This evening, he was in real pain and despite being offered a chair and slippers he couldn’t remove them and winced at the thought - not wanting to push him as he’s already elderly and unwell I allowed him in with shoes. Am I being unreasonable in making this exception for one member of my family who’s struggling with their health? I’ve also offered to mop the floor after he leaves to be supportive of my OHs views. Interested in perspective here as I feel I’m going to have to push my elderly father to do it each time he’s struggling and that feels uncomfortable.

Your OH doesn't sound very nice

You are not being unreasonable at all. I can’t imagine trying to force an elderly man to remove his shoes if it’s difficult for him.

Of course you’re not being unreasonable. We have a no shoes policy here but I wouldn’t expect someone who has mobility issues to remove theirs, no matter what age they are.

We have no shoes policy but in this case I wouldn’t expect DF to remove in these circumstances.

Dont make the poor man remove his shoes of it causes him pain, your OH sounds nasty assuming hes the one pushing this

we dont wear shoes in the house op but I would never force a guest to remove their shoes, especially one that is unwell

That’s absolutely fair enough for him to keep them on. You have offered to clear up any mess caused so I think you have been more than fair.

Your OH is a dick.

I can’t imagine why anyone would want a person, elderly or not, to have to take shoes off if they find it painful. Tell your OH to mop the sodding floor himself if he’s so scared of walking on a floor that shoes have been on. He sounds like a right prick.

Why don't you take them off for him? Or would he be offended?

How ridiculous. What mess is he going to cause. Ive never understood the no shoes policy people have. Thats why you have a door mat to wipe your feet on the way in.

Your husband is awful. A preference for shoes off is fair enough but the suggestion that your father should have to take them off in these circumstances is cruel and outrageous.

needing to mop after he leaves is ridiculous, as though the poor bloke is unclean because he can’t take his shoes off. Presumably you mop your floors regularly anyway. I also take shoes off at home but this is just neurotic.

That sounds a bit over the top. Surely your DF can be the exception to the rule and be more comfortable ? How much mess can he realistically make by wearing his shoes ?

Yep, does he make you line the towels up?

As a family we have a no shoes policy.

But I've never enforced it with visitors to the home. If they chose to take their shoes off then that's great but I would never ask them to take their shoes off.

Your poor Dad. Even saying you " allowed him in" even though he couldn't take his shoes off is very very sad.

Your OP sounds like a nasty bastard

We have exactly this issue. I used to ask my father to remove his shoes. Now he is older (definitely elderly) and his mobility is poorer, I do not ask him to remove them, and in fact actively tell him he doesn’t need to take them off. In general, my husband is more of a stickler for the no-shoes-in-the-house role than me, but where my parents (and other elderly and immobile people) are concerned it is a non-issue for him as well as for me.

I know….I thought this ….’you allowed him in’ ….WTF …your poor DAd

I struggle with shoes in the house but would make an exception for anyone who needs to keep them on for whatever reason... Shoes are also a lot sturdier than slippers, the last thing you'd want is for him to have a fall.

If your dp has an issue then he should sanitise or whatever he feels he needs to do. He sounds like a dick tbh.

We're a no shoes house but I'd never request someone to remove their shoes if they were unwell/struggling/elderly etc.

I can't believe you 'allowed him' in with shoes, he's your elderly dad, he should be welcomed in by both you and your dp.

Your OH is a stupid prick. Does he want your dad to stumble and fall?

What’s more important, your DF’s wellbeing, or your floor?

Yanbu but buy shoe covers for him xx

Wtf. Of course YANBU. Your house isn’t going to suddenly turn in to a shit tip if one person keeps their shoes on for a few hours. Genuinely stunned. Tell your OH to respectfully get in the bin.

My step daughters have a no shoes policy which I think is completely ridiculous but even they would probably be kinder to your Dad than your husband is.