Unwell Father Removing Shoes

[CyanSloth]

Hi All
Long time lurker but first time poster. Unfortunately myself and my other half have had a disagreement which I wanted some perspective on. We generally operate a no shoes house policy which has been somewhat harmonious. My elderly father (who’s had several falls over the last few weeks) has generally always been on board and removed his shoes. This evening, he was in real pain and despite being offered a chair and slippers he couldn’t remove them and winced at the thought - not wanting to push him as he’s already elderly and unwell I allowed him in with shoes. Am I being unreasonable in making this exception for one member of my family who’s struggling with their health? I’ve also offered to mop the floor after he leaves to be supportive of my OHs views. Interested in perspective here as I feel I’m going to have to push my elderly father to do it each time he’s struggling and that feels uncomfortable.

Agree
one of our uncle and another friend who had serious health issues were never required to remove shoes in our shoes off house.

I’m disabled after an accident where one foot was badly mangled.

my FIL has a shoes off policy and refused to relax it for me so I didn’t go for a number of years

I was in plaster for six months and then a fracture boot and then custom “shoes” for sometime. It was a couple of years before I could weight bear.

he wouldn’t have my wheelchair in his house either because there might have been dog shit on the wheels.

seriously, be nice to people who have mobility problems. Causing people physical pain because your house has a no shoes policy isn’t ok,

Disposable shoe covers. Job done.

Are you saying your OH wanted to force your DF into pain by insisting he removed his shoes?

If so think very carefully about whether you really want a long term relationship with him. One day you will be elderly or ill or in pain and your OH won't give two shifts as long as you follow his rules. He has shown you who he is, believe him.

besides a dick husband issue your dear dad might benefit from some new shoes that are easy on and off.
if he's struggling to take them off at yours he will equally be struggling to get them off at his.
lots of options to review and try on. nike even does them.
Nike Go FlyEase Women's Easy On/Off Shoes. Nike.com

I doubt your father is going skipping through muddy woodland and leafy muddy streets if he's struggling this much. His shoes can't be that dirty.

I'm shocked you even need to ask. An elderly man, poorly, in pain and at risk of falls should definitely not be made to go through pain and risk another fall. You say you will mop afterwards too, so it's not even carpets? A hard floor that can be cleaned really easily? It's ridiculous.

I can't believe people are suggesting shoe covers FFS

Is he the same culture as you? Some countries find it really disgusting.

Bloody hell, what's more important,your dads comfort or your precious floor?

As he is unwell & at risk of falls your dad should definitely not go without footwear in your home!

Sod off with the slippery shoe cover suggestions too,

Your poor Dad.

Please do not allow him to be humiliated and in pain and discomfort.

Your OH is a wanker

What exactly is his problem? Assuming your elderly father isn’t going to be stomping mud and dogshit through the house.

Tell him to fuck off and stop disrespecting
your dear dad

And make him feel like a leper….that’s disgusting 🙄

As others have said shoe covers would be a stupid trip hazard and socks on a floor that can be mopped doesn’t sound non slip either…deadly for people with mobility issues. No shoes house here but carpets and I wouldn’t asked an elderly person to remove their shoes

My floors are all tiled or wood.I wouldn’t dream of asking people to take their shoes off . A part from parents ( stepfather was a clean freak) no one has ever asked me to either. I do offer when there’s carpeting and of course take them off if they are muddy or wet.

It's not an operating theatre, don't be so ridiculous, poor man.

Shoe covers increase the likelihood of slipping and falling.

OP: Feel sorry for your poor dad - being "allowed in" rather than welcomed in.

Definitely shoe covers and a large brown paper bag for his head. These old people are spreading their germs everywhere they go. Don’t be cruel though. Cut slits in the paper bag so the poor man can see where he’s going 🙄

As your father also has mobility issues it would be best leaving his shoes on for stability.
Which I'm sure any doctor, physiotherapist or chiropodist would agree with.

@CyanSloth
i wouldnt be putting my dad through that or dirtying up the house...
Just get decent shoe covers we keep them by the front door for tradesmen etc.
Not the cheap ones...The ones we have are very fitted and very grippy

Not that it’s relevant to the OPs question but it’s interesting how everyone is assuming the other half is male

I have never, ever, understood the no-shoes policy. We have always had dogs, fair enough they don't wear shoes anyway, but they can bring mud in if it is rainy. We also have muddy boots as we keep horses. We always have tiles or laminate downstairs so it is easy to clean. I can't think of anything as unhygienic as carpet downstairs (which I guess underlies the no shoes policy).

He should definitely keep his shoes on, but it might be worth checking when it's just the two of you if he has the most comfy shoes/easiest to get on. My parents both need a chair & long shoe horn to try and put their shoes on (no guarantee of success), so being asked to take shoes off at any time away from home is a problem - Dad had to go to the hospital on Friday and then needed his shoe put back on for him as he couldn't do it which he found embarassing.