telling child Elf on the Shelf isn’t really

[toastofthetown]

Academic for me at the moment because mine is still a baby, but I really don’t want to do Elf on the Shelf. I hate the surveillance aspect of Father Christmas anyway without bringing an elf snitch into the house. But they are so popular, I’m sure my child will ask at some point why we don’t have an elf so would I be unreasonable to say that we don’t have an elf because the elves aren’t real and it’s the parents doing it all? I’d say not to say anything but children do talk among themselves. I don’t want to spoil any other family’s magic who love it, but ultimately it’s the reason we won’t have an elf and it’s something that won’t make my child feel lesser for not having one.

I’ve never done it and my 9 year old has never asked about it.

Well yes, you’re being unreasonable to tell them it’s not real yet apparently don’t want to spoil it for others, because that’s exactly what will happen if you do.

You are being unreasonable to expect a small child to keep it a secret.
You are NOT being unreasonable to not participate.

All you need to say if asked is that not every house has an elf, I've never done it and it hasn't been an issue!

Only do that if you want your own child to question Father Christmas and the Tooth Fairy and to have other parents complaining that your child has told theirs.
I just say that we don’t have the elf in our family. They are fine with that.

Just ignore it. We’ve never done it and neither child has ever mentioned it at all

I don’t want to do it this year. We struggled for ideas last year and forgot on a few occasions so had to go back down to think of something. This year the elf has written the dc a letter explaining the North Pole is even busier so Santa needs the help of even the naughty elves . We have one of those hanging advent things with a little gift/chocolate in for each day from the elf as a sorry I can’t come to stay . Next year he will prob be on a festive cruise and have to do the same 😂😂

Elf on the shelf wasn’t a thing when I was a kid…..but once we reached an age where we started questioning all the magic surrounding Christmas/Santa etc I think my parents nailed it, and I plan on using the same strategy when my children reach that point.
My parents told us that people are the magic of Christmas. Parents, siblings, other family members etc are the magic and they make it special for younger children. So once we were old enough, we also became keepers of the magic for the little ones 🥰

You don't need to say that to her. If she asks, just say 'We don't do elf on the shelf.' If you need a reason, just say he's not very nice!

We don't do it and neither of my kids have brought it up

We have never done the elf. My kids have asked and I have just said we don't need an elf in our home. They were probably old enough when they first asked to know it's adults moving them and whoever they asked after I just said we have enough going on without dealing with an elf as well.

We have Christmas fairies they do some thing nice around twice a week but the year my Mum died it was a lot less. They do things like set up fairy toys, leave a couple of colouring sheets or a Christmas card, occasionally leave a Christmas themed giner biscuits. Nothing big and when they did some thing it was not expected and exciting.

Same
I have 4 dc.
It wasn't really a thing when I had my first but now its become really big
I simply cba so won't be doing it

I've never done it and DC have never mentioned it (age 9 and 5).

There's so guarantee even if they hear about it they will think it is real, DS1 always thought the Easter bunny was just a fun thing from movies and only really believed in the tooth fairy for a year or two. He's unsure about Santa.

My eldest is 6 and we’ve never done it. She’s aware it’s a thing, but hasn’t asked for it, which is good because I’m not doing it!

I was determined not to do it but DD3 came home the other day from nursery talking about it because the other kids were talking about it with the nursery nurses so now sadly I have to participate

Mine is 7 and has never mentioned it. Just say one has never shown up in your house!

Just don’t do it. We never did the tooth fairy either. Mine are 8 and 13 now.
If kids want to believe, they will believe no matter what.
mu oldest is autistic, never believed in Santa. Youngest still believed until last year - and that with a sibling in the house who made it very clear that Santa didn’t exist.
if a child can be swayed by another child saying Santa isn’t real, it was time anyway.

Not something i wanted to start, and DD was quite scared of the idea once she heard about it from school friends and cousins (DHs sister bloody obsessed with it)

DD asked how come we didn't have one and i said the parents give permission or something, and that i didn't want one so none come to us. And she said 'good!' 🤣

"We don't need one in our house because we know whether you are being good or naughty without an elf having to keep an eye on you"

All families do Christmas differently in a hundred different ways. Some kids have a whole living room of gifts, others just do stockings etc etc. The elf on the shelf thing is just another thing that is different between families but it's always been this way and kids do accept it as long as they want to.

We never bought into the surveillance aspect either, I just said they were definitely getting presents and they didn't have to worry about it, were already definitely on the good list, or something like that. Start the line that all families have their own traditions and father Christmas works with them all, early on. Maybe it's a thing in Alice's family but that's not how it works in ours.

Belief is partly a choice. If you sit them down and say x does not exist then you take that choice away from them. They may even ask you if it's real but not really want to be told no. There is a lot of room for being vague, because that way they can come to their own decision when they are ready for it.

No you don't.
Just say YOU don't want an elf and so one won't come.

I think you should go all out and tell them Santa isn't real or the tooth fairy....

An elf just doesn’t come to your house. There aren’t enough of them to go around all the children in the world. It doesn’t need any more explanation than that - plenty of parents don’t do the elf so your child won’t be elf-less alone.

I do it with minimal effort. The elf is often late (as I can’t find it) and I tend to just chuck it somewhere every few days. Dc still seem to like it!

We don’t do the elf, we don’t do santa either, it’s fine. We wouldn’t have the organisational skills to remember the elf, nevermind these people who put them in a different scenario everyday!