telling child Elf on the Shelf isn’t really

[toastofthetown]

Academic for me at the moment because mine is still a baby, but I really don’t want to do Elf on the Shelf. I hate the surveillance aspect of Father Christmas anyway without bringing an elf snitch into the house. But they are so popular, I’m sure my child will ask at some point why we don’t have an elf so would I be unreasonable to say that we don’t have an elf because the elves aren’t real and it’s the parents doing it all? I’d say not to say anything but children do talk among themselves. I don’t want to spoil any other family’s magic who love it, but ultimately it’s the reason we won’t have an elf and it’s something that won’t make my child feel lesser for not having one.

We'd not come across it until a few years ago, and my youngest asked (about 8 years old I think) - I told him that if our house got invested with naughty elves I'd be calling the pest control and setting traps, not encouraging it!

He did know it was fake really, but was just checking (he's never believed in Father Christmas, unlike his older brother), but another mother pulled me aside at pickup and asked me to ask him not to talk about it as her kids still believed, so I had to have a word about maintaining the magic for other kids.

I've never done it. When mine asked why we never had one they were old enough to be told that it's because I have enough to do without adding that on top.

It's hard enough to keep on top of the housework without deliberately making a mess like a lot of parents do.

I have an 8 and a 4 year old and have never done it (and never will). Both kids have just accepted it, no big deal.

Its never been a proper thing in my house.

We do HAVE one, and i do hide it in stupid places, but that's because it amuses my kids to see what stupid thing i did with it, and who can be the first to spot where i stuck it.... but there is no aspect of 'santa is watching' with it, no magic, no 'they come alive' and no pressure on me to do it every night if i CBA or forget.
They know full well i'm the one doing silly shit with the stupid elf.

It's just a silly game i play with them.

Get an elf doll and let DC play with it? We got one in a January sale and the kids liked it.

My kids are 9 and 5 - we’ve never done it but their friends do it.
Ive always told them that Father Christmas lets you have an elf if parents want them in their houses to keep an eye on kids being naughty or nice but it’s a choice that parents get to decide. I tell them they make too much mess so I don’t want them , I also say if we got one they’d be telling on you to Father Christmas so surely you don’t want one? That does the trick and they agree that it’s for the best we don’t have one.
job done no need to get involved and it doesn’t spoil it for the families that do choose to do what to me seems very exhausting!

I don't think it's that big of a deal. I work in a reception class and I'd say no more than 1/3 of the class do That Elf. The other 2/3 are nonplussed.

By day 10 most of the parents have got fucked off with it and the kids come in to school and announce that they got a letter from the Elf saying he's gone on his holidays. 😂

The ones who don't have it don't really mention it. I think one might have said 'We don't have an elf". Not upset. Just statement of fact.

People are being dramatic. You won't ruin the tooth fairy for them or Christmas or their childhood.

Just don't do it. Don't bring it up. If child ever questions it - and you'll be amazed how many do not - just keep it vague "Yeah...not all houses have an Elf. (Thank flip!)"

It's not that people are miserable. Santa brings the magic. He's the main man. This Elf is a Jonny Come Lately and he's a pain in the arse. Ill bred, ill-behaved brut. 😆

Why?

Do you remember the yoga teacher who told us all to stand on our doorsteps and clap?

Somebody has told you all to get a bloody elf.

Be your own person.

Except that the “I hate the elf” crowd is every bit as performative as the “look what our elf got up to” crowd!

No there's nothig performative about quietly going about your business and not buying into this landfill garbage.

So everybody who stayed at home and didn't clap was performing?

Be your own person, hold your boundaries.

You don’t have to do anything elaborate or say it’s watching. I just move it to different locations around the house.

Just say that not every house has one. Leave it at that.

They were only just becoming a thing when my dc1 was little. IME every parent either regrets starting it, or they end up being the sort to have spreadsheets in the summer planning what they are doing each and every day for December, buying props etc. only you know which type you’d be.

it can get in the bin along with every other commercially driven, US imported shite we have to put up with now. The list is as follows:

1. baby showers
2. gender reveals
3. christmas Eve box
4. matching Xmas family pjs 🤮
5. elf on the shelf

feel free to add your own….

We frame it as a Christmas lodger (we have infrequent lodgers so the kids understand this), an extended houseguest who causes mischief and helps spread festivities.

I really love the making different scenes n the kids find it hilarious. Sometimes they're funny.
Other times they're just cooking or reading a book n chilling

(We don't do Santa either, but talk about the characters of Christmas)

Hated it…. An elf that misbehaves in the house, which is meant to be ‘funny??’

yeah I know, I’m a total grinch …but what is that teaching kids???

apart from the fact, I couldn’t be arsed to think of new scenarios to put the little shit in every night.

what does an overweight man trespassing via the chimney and stuffing his face with mince pies all night actually teaches them? 😂

@WhyamIinahandcartandwherearewegoing amen to that.

OP you do you. I have never done lots of other things people do but it’s your house and your traditions that you can tailor to your wants and needs.

The strangest thing is how much time and how much effort people spend to explain that "they don't do they elf".

Why? No one actually cares 😂
bet it takes me less time to move mine than it takes to people to type regularly: look at me, I am not doing it. ahem.. ok?!?😂

Have a nativity, have an elf, dress as Santa, it's up to you.

We just don't do it. None of mine have ever questioned it.
If they asked, I'd tell them the truth.

Our Elf just simply plays hide and seek and moves to be found somewhere new each day. He brings the advent calendar and occasional treats in December (like Xmas books which would be a bit wasted if only presented on Xmas day). This will be our fifth year of doing it and DD absolutely LOVES it and has no idea that the proper concept is he’s a spy for Santa. It just isn’t something we’ve ever mentioned and nor has she despite being at school. It’s one more lovely little memory for them to believe in something magic for the shortest while, and so cute hearing them at school comparing what their elves were found doing this morning. A pain when you realise at midnight you’ve not moved it though!

DS now 14, never wanted to do Elf on the shelf as he thought the elf was creepy and disturbing.

I assumed the Elf on the Shelf trend would pass but it doesn’t look like it’s budging yet. I’m really surprised to see people comparing it to Father Christmas or the Tooth Fairy. It’s only been around a few years and it’s just a toy that surely most kids see for sale in the shops? It doesn’t have the same magic or mystique to me at all. But then I’m not a child!

We won’t be doing it. DC is only 2 so hopefully we won’t get any awkward questions this time round. But when the time comes we’re already planning on blaming the cat and not my laziness.