telling child Elf on the Shelf isn’t really

[toastofthetown]

Academic for me at the moment because mine is still a baby, but I really don’t want to do Elf on the Shelf. I hate the surveillance aspect of Father Christmas anyway without bringing an elf snitch into the house. But they are so popular, I’m sure my child will ask at some point why we don’t have an elf so would I be unreasonable to say that we don’t have an elf because the elves aren’t real and it’s the parents doing it all? I’d say not to say anything but children do talk among themselves. I don’t want to spoil any other family’s magic who love it, but ultimately it’s the reason we won’t have an elf and it’s something that won’t make my child feel lesser for not having one.

I was just thinking about this because we have done it previous years but this year I just can't be bothered...

Not sure if everyone is similar in age/generation as me but I simply can't imagine my parents ever doing anything like this.

What have we become?

I know it comes from a place of love...but an advert came up on my social media recently for a "Brr Box"

Have we just gone too far? Are our kids just literally ruling our lives now? And at a point where it's normal for both parents to have to work too .. so we (on the whole) probably have LESS time and mental capacity than generations gone by to faff around positioning elves and buying bits of tat to make them happy.

Anyway I'm boycotting the elf this year.

Unfortunately the Xmas eve "elf box" is already sorted.

Not sure how ive made it to a functional adult without ever receiving an elf box, visiting North pole (and the countless other Xmas "experiences" everyone seems to have!), having an elf on a shelf... But I did. (Just to reassure anyone who simply cannot be arsed with it this year!!!)

Never done it.
Tbh I think it's silly.

I suppose when your DC get ro university you'll only have to cover the days after they get home in December...

I didn’t plan to do it, but seeing the fun my son gets from similar things has changed my mind. There have been a lot of “I won’t do this with my child” that I’ve adapted, so I’d keep an open mind.

We won’t be doing the elaborate naughty elf set ups, though. Ours will be a well behaved elf who just likes to hide somewhere different each day. If son asks why he isn’t naughty, I’ll just say ours is a nice elf. Just like if I decide not to do it, I’d just say Santa allocates them randomly and it’s not our turn this time.

I work in early years so have had kids ask why they don't have an elf. My answer is some mummies and daddies ask for elves to visit to check for the nice list and some mummies and daddies just tell santa if their little one has been good or naughty.... keeps the magic alive for everyone.

We've never done it. 7 year old DD has asked and I have told her it's not real and it's the parents doing it, but she's shouldn't say that to any of her friends who like it. She's been fine about it and doesn't mention it anymore.

We do father Christmas, tooth fairy, Easter bunny etc. The elf is just fucking stupid and I refuse to buy in to it

I really don't understand the anger and aggravation about the elf, or anything else. Someone had an idea, some people thought it was funny and took to it, others have no interest in it. It's not that deep.

I love Christmas experience, it's a great way to spend a day with the children without to have to plan a full itinerary. There were a lot MORE Christmas activities when I was a kid than today, just different ones.

Do the elf, don't, it's not important. It's funny when people spends more time boasting that they don't do it (no one cares, and why do they waste time explaining they don't?)

the only thing I don't understand is why and how people think it's WORK. It really isn't, unless you go crazy and decide to gift wrap the content of the entire house - but that's not mandatory? 😂

Between Pinterest and chatGPT, it takes 5mn to plan an entire month with easy pranks, takes 30 seconds to do an easy bit in the evening. I don't care if people don't do it, but let's not pretend it takes any time or headspace. Takes longer and more energy to be on MN!

It will take more than 5 mins for me to find it in the loft, let alone looking on Pinterest for ideas and planning a month's worth of poses. I'm not doing it. I can't be arsed! And fed up of feeling guilty for not doing these things. If you enjoy it... Fair enough crack on. Just don't like how things become expected/the norm. Too tired to be panicking at midnight that I haven't rearranged the bloody elf!

Sorry I know this wasn't the point of this post!

Don’t do it but don’t mention it unless they do. If they ever bring it up, say some families believe in it but we choose not to- like God I guess. You don’t need to completely say it doesn’t exist because there is a solid chance he’ll go to school and ruin another child’s Christmas magic.

We have had an elf in our house for 12 years now, I got it when my DD was a baby. I don’t do the surveillance creepy thing. He’s just like a little friend who joins us for December and he does silly things to make younger DC laugh. He’s really grubby from the various antics over the years and worn now but even DD who is 13 loves it (though she wouldn’t admit this!) I got it because of the MN Christmas forum actually, just thought it sounded like a cute idea. It wasn’t a big deal in the UK back then at all so I’m a bit of an EOTS hipster.

I told my kids the whole Elf on a Shelf thing was a game some families like to play. But some of them like to imagine it's real so don't make a big deal of it being 'fake' and spoil it for them.

It's not like Father Christmas or the Tooth Fairy though. No sensible child older than a toddler can believe they're really real. There's no mystery or magic. You can pick them up and see they're just cheap toys. They're on sale in shops children go to, for goodness' sake!

I agree with this post, the ire around the elf is really weird

My kids love the elf and it's a great part of our Christmas. We don't do surveillance or anything very high effort. It's just a soft toy that gets moved around the house.

But if you don't want to do it, don't do it. It really is that simple.

But silly to think you can speak for all kids experience here. Mine have definitely found it magical.

My son is 15, and we never did the 'Elf on the Shelf' either. I couldn't be arsed in all honesty. It's just something else I would need to think about, at an already busy time of the year. I wouldn't bring the subject up unless your child does. I'm sure by the time your child reaches school age, and is aware of the trend, you can think of a reason why you don't have one.

There are also fake Santas absolutely everywhere, having badly disguised men doesn't mean the kids stop believing when they are little enough.

I don't know how many years the kids actually believe, but it's still fun after they don't. It can also become a lot more inappropriate as they get older, I know so many teens who still enjoy it, and those who have taken over to do it for their little siblings.

Who cares if people are not bothered, but there's nothing wrong in enjoying the elf for as long as you want. Day 1 they always bring the advent calendars, so that's already one easy day done 😂

Sorry, I worded that badly. There is of course magic in the experience, and in the game and imagination of the people involved. But unlike Father Christmas whom you never really see*, the elf is literally this plastic toy right here. A ten year old may enjoy the game, and that is a wonderful thing, but surely nobody over the age of three really believes it?

*Yes, you see people dressed up in bad fake beards, but when inquisitive kids question that you can preserve the myth by saying "oh, they're not the real Santa, just grown ups dressed up for little children" etc.

have you never seen Toy Story? 😂

Who was boasting? I don’t see anyone boasting.

But I have seen posters tell OP that she can’t tell her child the elf is a toy because it will upset other kids. So it is impacting her.

Equally you just say 'that's not the real elf' or 'that's not our elf'.

Children's magical thinking around Christmas is lovely. I'm not sure it is ever possible to distinguish between what they really believe, versus what they want to believe, versus just playing pretend. And no need to either, it's all wonderful.

I’ve never done it- my youngest is 10. She did feel a bit left out one year so I moved one her cuddly elf teddy about three times just so she had a story to tell with the others. I absolutely was not buying one and moving it every night for it to be naughty while ‘spying’ on her behaviour. Weird and a little bit of a contradiction. Im sure most kids must know the elf isn’t actually real- they just want to believe. Like others say, they’re all in the shops.

I’m doing it this year for the first time. My eldest is 4 and she hasn’t actually asked about it, but she just loves the idea of fairies and magic and elves, and she is so excited by Christmas, I know she’ll love it. There are so few Christmases that they believe in the magic of it all, so I’m just embracing it while I can. That said, the elf is not doing anything OTT (he’ll be hiding in the Christmas tree or having a teddy bear picnic etc). I think it depends on whether you want to do it, and your child’s personality. I can already tell my second wouldn’t be fussed, but my eldest will love it.

Id just say the elf is helping Santa this year but I wouldn’t say he’s not real. Why ruin it for other kids when you can give a reasonable explanation without doing so!

There are multiple elves out there, some of them are very cute. There's even a jellycat one for those who want it 'naice'.

eu.jellycat.com/leffy-elf/

Do other people not do xmas its not a religious thing, but prefer spring and summer and holidays. Love to know if I am scrooge or what. I do send cards but that's it. Each to his own

When my oldest was little we used to do elf on the shelf for her. When she was 8ish we stopped because she lost interest. I've not done Elf on the shelf with my boys.
But this year their sister has brought them a elf so she's in charge of the elf not me.

"The elf is a creepy capitalist scam designed to normalise surveillance. Also mum can't be arsed" works for me.

Are you mentally ill or a troll?