telling child Elf on the Shelf isn’t really

[toastofthetown]

Academic for me at the moment because mine is still a baby, but I really don’t want to do Elf on the Shelf. I hate the surveillance aspect of Father Christmas anyway without bringing an elf snitch into the house. But they are so popular, I’m sure my child will ask at some point why we don’t have an elf so would I be unreasonable to say that we don’t have an elf because the elves aren’t real and it’s the parents doing it all? I’d say not to say anything but children do talk among themselves. I don’t want to spoil any other family’s magic who love it, but ultimately it’s the reason we won’t have an elf and it’s something that won’t make my child feel lesser for not having one.

Honestly I really wouldn’t mind that, but don’t want to ruin Christmas for other children (or their parents). I’d be happy saying that Father Christmas is a fun game we play every year but there isn’t literally a man from the North Pole/Lapland entering our house but still have fun playing with it.

I had a random school mum give DD one, becaue she'd heard from her DD that we didn't do it. All with promises of how it would come to life every night, and how wonderful it would be.

I could have cheerfully shoved her down a hole and danced on her head.

My son realised it was a toy without being told as well it clearly looks like a toy.
He did ask when he was about 9 why we didn't do it as he'd heard some funny things people had done but he wasn't very bothered.

The difference between the elf and Father Christmas is that the elf is very new so not a sacred tradition needing protecting, and I also don’t see a shelf of Santas for sale in B&M. Surely children see that and clearly see that the special elf sent to them from the North Pole is the same? If children want to believe they will anyway, but I think there’s way more scope for doubt with the elf than Father Christmas.

Just like you can skip out the 'Santa is watching you' part of doing Santa, you can do the same with the elf too. Our elf is just a fun thing to do which causes some mischief, nothing will be said to them about reporting back to Santa.

I did exactly that but I didn’t know any child actually believes they are real. I'd seen stuff about them on Facebook but I had no idea the children weren't completely in on it and knew it was something from a shop. So when mine asked for one I just said it wasn't sonething I wanted to buy or to faff about moving around etc and that their friends' parents must be far more imaginative than we are to come up with the ideas.

Whether or not my own had been under the misapprehension it was real I still don't know.

Im probably being mean to the elves, but they look like creepy tat! If they were plushy and cute I’d probably be more welcoming, but I really don’t want that face staring at me for a month.

I think you would be unreasonable to say he's not real as it could potentially spoil a short-lived magic for a few families!!
I'm not doing it, my eldest is only 3 but I won't ever be doing it. They do it at her creche and will do it in her primary school so I'm hoping that will get me out of being questioned. I know of some parents who don't do it and say it's only bold kids that need to be watched by an elf 🤣 mine believes in Santa's Bird watching.

I just told my daughter the elfs only go to naughty children, so she wouldn’t need one.. but maybe don’t mention that to the other children as it might upset them.

My daughter once came home from nursery talking about how they had one. She was confused because (in her words) “It’s not real, it’s a toy” She said she knew the staff were moving it 😆 She has also seen them (along with other Elf of the Shelf branded products) being sold in shops so I explained they were made by a toy company. I didn’t actually realise people believed in them like Father Christmas.
She is older now and never mentioned it again.

honestly just don’t do it it’s fine. we didn’t but we have lots of other traditions. we have a locket cosy time but no elf.

Children absolutely don’t see it the way that adults do. Push at the house of cards and you risk the whole thing coming down.

Telling them the parents are doing it is a bit of a potential time bomb, they could carry that to school and tell the other kids. It's annoying that it's become so popular that people feel pressured into doing it, tbh I don't plan to do it with my son when he's old enough and I'll just tell him a different story like the parents who tell the story of the elf do.

I plan on saying that he doesn't need an elf in the house keeping watch because santa knows him well enough to know if he is being a good boy for Christmas etc. Tbh I doubt it'll even come up.

Another lie to keep. When did elf in the shelf come about?

How would you feel if someone told your child Father Christmas isn’t real ? As that’s exactly same thing

We never did Elf or Christmas Eve boxes or new PJ’s. etc. DH does go overboard on Christmas lights everywhere though.

It’s just the 3 of us over the Christmas holidays with no visitors so we have no expectations and lots of chilling.

Just say we don’t have an Elf in our house. I’ve always said we don’t have one, no long-lasting psychological damage has occurred for any household members. I have enough to do in the run up before christmas, without orchestrating pretend chaos all over my home. Apparently because it’s funny/magic.

The thing about the house of cards falling with belief is why I don’t get elf on the shelf. Father Christmas is a preposterous story but it’s such a magical moment on one day that it makes sense for the very young. Then as they get older they start to have doubts: why do I just get stocking filler and my friend gets a GameBoy; if Father Christmas gives children presents then why am I filling a shoebox for a child who won’t get a present; how does he have the time; what about the children who don’t celebrate Christmas? And then when I’d figured out Santa, I also thought that logically the tooth fairy and God weren’t real either - I always knew my parents were the Easter bunny. But the elf is so transparent and unmagical and obvious to me that I think it would make kids figure it all out earlier than they would without it.

We never did it. Hate it!!

I have no intention of doing it and my 5 year old has never once asked about it. If they do I’ll just be saying that naughty elves are not allowed in our house.

Mine are late teens and we’ve done elf on the shelf since they were about 3/4.
it’s the thing they love the most about Christmas (still!).
I don’t post on social media about it (other than here like this!) and I don’t do the horrid pranks or the creepiness watching you thing.

life is hard and relentless, if I can add a little fun and magic (when they were younger) to it. I will. It’s entirely your call if you do it or not. But ruining that magic for others just seems mean. I think it’s falling out of fashion and I don’t think it will be an issue. When my DCs friends talked about not having one, I said it’s for parents to decide if they can host one or not. As it’s a big responsibility and not everyone is able to.

I just say the elf is too naughty and I don’t want one messing up the house!

We just did Father Christmas to give kids the magic. Elves were a joke for adults in later years.

If an adult told any child that Father Christmas isn’t real then I’d think they were mean spirited and I certainly won’t be telling any children other than mine (potentially) that the elf isn’t real. If a child figured it out, or didn’t believe anyway and told my child then I don’t think I’d mind because it’s true and children will talk to each other. A huge aspect to a lot of Christmas movies is doubt in belief in Father Christmas so the idea that it’s something which can be doubted is pretty ingrained in the myth. But I don’t really care that much about Father Christmas and don’t think that the magic of Christmas is dependent on belief in him so I’m probably less sensitive to that than other parents.

I just told mine the cat would eat it