To ask you what is the worst thing your MIL has done or said to you?

[IndigoIsMyFavouriteColour]

I’ll start. We lost a baby at 25 weeks pregnant, a little girl, the whole situation was awful. 6 months later I was pregnant with a little boy and we waited until 20+ weeks to tell anyone about him because we were nervous (understandably).

We phoned MIL on speaker phone to tell her our happy news about the new baby (we already had a son) and her first response was ‘well when am I going to get some granddaughters?’

There are many more examples but this really took the biscuit

My now ex-MIL is a massive enabler for her narcissistic son, one evening at a wedding where we were guests my then husband and I had words (he was blatantly cheating on me at the time), he was drunk he took my car and wrote it off. When I got home (MIL had been babysitting) she blamed me, stating it "takes two to tango" yes love, your son and the other woman he is sha**ing, not me!!!
Since we have separated and now divorced she rarely sees her grandchildren, and doesn't speak to me, even though she knows what he has done, and has seen receipts.
One of the reasons I will never marry again!!!

Not MIL but FIL. He told my now ex to never trust women - on our wedding day!

My mil Offered childcare when pregnant we worked around her days she was free for nursery then she changed her mind she decided to get another job after retirement so she can give her favourite gc money every week. She stopped visiting before dc was 2 then never to see us again for 8 years or more drove past our house to see favourite gc. Then tagain as dc was much older oh tried to introduce him to her she said I can’t stop going on holiday turned out it was a few days later I would have been happy to tell dc gp were dead like mine but didn’t want to lie now she is dead she’s not missed one bit by any of us. Her loss.

Ex now.

Ex partner and I and his mother were in a jewellery makers when he suddenly decided that we should buy each other rings; something that was fine by me. I think they were £60 each - nice, silver. We hadn't talked about marriage, but had been together for a long time.

We were staying near MIL and FIL on holiday but in our own accommodation. Day carries on as normal.

FIL rings partner the next morning to say MIL has not slept. Worked up about wedding. Partner speaks to him at length on the phone and then goes over to their house without me. A few hours later he comes back. MIL in the car, partner comes in and says not to mention the rings or wedding - not that there was any plan for a wedding. I get in car, she grunts at me and has a face like a wet weekend in Clacton. We go back to the shopping arcade with jewellery in it. We go in jewellery store and partner buys her a bracelet for £600.

I was never told what was said. Rings are never mentioned again. Until I left him.

We already had 2 children, so she already had 2 Grandchildren. Her daughter was pregnant and MIL said to us “I can’t wait to get a grand baby “. We pointed out she already had 2 and she replied with a scoff and so dismissively as though we were idiots “oh that’s not the same”! Biatch.

This thread definitely makes me feel less alone!

The amount of things she has done over the years are too numerous to even try to list but one of the ones I'll never forgive or understand is her ringing my husband for financial advice the day after I received methotrexate for an ovarian ectopic pregnancy and what is my 3rd pregnancy loss. I was lying on the settee unwell and in a lot of pain and she thought that was the best time to ring! As I say, there have been too many things and recently she went too far and we've cut contact with her entirely.

Oh gosh so many - some that come to mind: telling me my DD's birthday wasn't a 'great day to be born' a week after I gave birth...still no idea what that comment was about, she wasn't born on a significant day for the family or anything.

Telling me I'm not the only person to have ever given birth after I collapsed from blood loss and needed a blood transfusion so had to go back into hospital which pissed her off because it was the day she was meant to be visiting the baby for the first time.

Calling me lazy because I didn't leave the house for three weeks after having DD (one of those was spent in hospital).

After 25 years of marriage and us having 3 teenage dc, MIL had failed to wreck our marriage despite being unpleasant throughout. Clearly feeling that her demise was imminent, she upped her efforts, and was instrumental in deciding that my husband should marry his adopted cousin, who had been helping to care for her. She got about two thirds of the family on board with this before she died, so everyone knew he'd promised to go through with it. He then had a religious marriage ceremony to this woman, lived a double life for 2 years, and got into debt before I found out exactly what he'd done. I don't absolve him of responsibility, and the above is what I believe happened based on what seems believable from his various versions of events, plus photographic evidence and accounts from other family members. We got divorced this week, next February would have been our 30th anniversary. Our dc are all in counselling and I'm about to start counselling too... my MIL was really not very nice.

when we had just had DC1 after an emergency c section and long labour, she and my FIL visited and they said “oh we were hoping for a boy” as they cuddled her.
now they show no interest in either of our children - or us!

My 2nd MIL was a very thoughtful woman, so if she had a gripe with me I didn’t know about it.

However she became terminally ill during the last 18 months of her life and wrote me a very upsetting letter.

the situation was caused by her daughter claiming I sent her a horrible email that so upset her, she went crying to her mother.

We were living o/s at the time so I called MIL to discuss what it was I supposedly sent. I hadn’t been in contacted with my SIL for several months prior to this and I told MIL this, I also asked had she read what I had supposedly written and that’s when she said it had upset her daughter so much so had to destroy it.. no idea of the content but it was “horrible” and how could I do that to SIL… ?

I pointed out again that I hadn’t been in contact with her daughter. Her answer was, well why would she lie? I replied why would I?

she eventually moved in with her daughter who made it impossible for DH to speak to his mum, so we visited.

Her house had been stripped of the newer items by the daughter’s family. MIL had no idea but was ill. SIL said in front of everyone I had told her were staying at a friends house (I still hadn’t any contact with her at this point) and I clearly replied that I had said no such thing…

MIL died a couple of months later. Conversation was never the same with MIL on the phone in between the letter and seeing her slipping away.

I find it hard to reconcile, but just choose to remember her before this period and when FIL was alive as he nipped this behaviour from his daughter in the bud very quickly…

DH says ‘I told you what she was like” and has re-buffed a couple of attempts his not so dear sibling has made to connect with him.

“You’re not the first, and you won’t be the last” after I miscarried.

ex mother in law thank fuck

I don't really get why this is so awful. She was wrong, as it turned out, but was prob just commenting on what she thought was likely to happen. If that's as bad as it gets, you're doing very well.

My fiancé had just tried to strangle me over a fence. I was far from home and we had just got engaged that day. We were staying with his mum. He told her we’d got engaged. All she said was ‘you’re not good enough for him’. I wish id been strong enough to just walk out. And head off somewhere, anywhere. We were married for 20 years. It wasn’t happy. He gets married again tomorrow.

Gosh it's jealousy isn't it !
Deep bitter jealously driving all these mils!

Not my Mil, my sister's.
Her DS birthday is 8 December, so obviously very close to Christmas.
Her MIL asks every year what he wants, so sister has a Amazon Wishlist for him, and up dates it from around October time with gifts ranging from £3 or £4 to more. But nothing more than £30. This is to give people ideas....also it covers both birthday and Christmas. So there's often around 30 items. Her MIL saw the list and said "oh, he's a greedy little boy isn't he?? What's he need all that for?". Sister explains, "oh, it's inspiration/ideas and he obviously wouldn't expect everything. And it is for birthday AND Christmas".
MIL double downed and said "he shouldn't be so greedy, expecting 2 gifts from people!"

She will only buy him one present for birthday AND Christmas.... The other GKs get one for each event... Mean old cow.

I was in Sainsbury’s today and tried to think do i care that he gets married again tomorrow. And no i don’t. Which is good. His mum my mil is dead. Ironically i would have looked out for her in her later years. But we were divorced. I respected her strength but she had an awful superiority maybe common in her demographic. I was there when he saw her for the last time. She was still strong made us tea. I felt such a strong sympathy. But couldn’t step in and do anything as I was no one really. He was actually the most pathetic person. Couldn’t be there for his mum. Tbh he is quite a scary psychotic person. I’m so glad he is nothing to me.

My MIL wasn’t as bad as any of these - we tolerated each other, but were very different people. The worst thing she ever said to me was during our wedding reception. She came to say goodbye as they were leaving early and whispered in my ear, “you’re the least attractive woman my son’s ever been with, but he does seem happy so I’m pleased.” I guess it was a sort of backhanded compliment, but thanks for saying I’m ugly on the day I’ve had hair and makeup done professionally 😂

I’ve got sons myself and I have every intention of being a good MIL. 🤞

@FreshDoughDaily wow on what grounds did she thinks a case and why thrown out

Abu @Livelovebehappy it gives people with awful mil a forum. Go yourself to some other thread with the lovely MILs.

@dundermiffling that's absolutely horrendous and I feel the same about mine.

Robbed precious memories and times and made worse times worse.

It's weird isn't it. My DD was rushed to hospital with breathing issues it was terrifying end mil made it all about her and I felt she was questioning DH because she didn't believe us and wouldn't come to the hospital to visit either. Like yours made it all about her !!
She did that many times.

Obviously not as serious as your DD ,but that attention thing just awful.

Took mine to my wedding dress appointment. Came out in my dress and she had disappeared. She was found trying on dresses.
She ended up wearing a floor length, lace, ivory dress - yeap a wedding dress, to our wedding.
When her daughter had her second child, said “at long last I have a grandson”. I was standing there with my 7 year old son.
Kept a photo of my OH & his ex-girlfriend on display in their living room, even after we got married and two children.
The list is endless. But now with adult children I know what not to do with their partners.

@Weecatsmum @Livelovebehappy

My goodness mumsent has been my therapy for 15 plus years now with my mil and gave me insight and strength to have boundaries for myself and say no.

My DH actually held them at arms length but somerhng in me would always be trying to include them and MN helped me through so many situations with them.
I've written about them many times over the years ! I used to take it personally I really didn't know why she was so nasty.

@NoPaintedPony

I'm sure you looked better in a wedding dress unless she was jerry hall 🤣.

I have read that mils can have ingrained trust issues over sons partners child's Because it coukd be another mans.

Whereaa their own daughter they know it's definatly theirs

Wow I am sorry @IndigoIsMyFavouriteColour mine can be rude but that’s whole new level.

personal hightlights from mine

the amount you eat makes me feel sick ( she is bigger than me)
he (dh) could have anyone he wanted (implied i am not good enough)

My Mil said nobody in her family lived in a council house because I did . Not true, 2 of her brothers did
Irish people are filthy and keep pigs in their kitchens after I told her my grandparents were Irish
Said my OH had a really beautiful girlfriend before me. She was just average looking .
She advised him to apply for a job overseas which he got , it backfired as we got engaged shortly after
She said she wouldn't set foot in a Catholic church . We weren't getting married in one.
She said how disappointed my DH must have been when we had a girl as every man wants a son . I said he didn't and she said she didn't believe that
Baby 2 was also a girl she said to my mum what a shame it was , mum said you should be happy it's a healthy baby
She already had 4 grandsons
Told me I needed a panty girdle after 1st baby I weighed 8 stone at the time !
She invited us to her house near the beach gir a week while I was 7 months pregnant. I spent all week washing ironing and packing. She cancelled the evening before we were due to arrive because her favourite son was coming fir the weekend
My OH never said anything to her as he didn't want to upset an old women
I could write a book