To ask you what is the worst thing your MIL has done or said to you?

[IndigoIsMyFavouriteColour]

I’ll start. We lost a baby at 25 weeks pregnant, a little girl, the whole situation was awful. 6 months later I was pregnant with a little boy and we waited until 20+ weeks to tell anyone about him because we were nervous (understandably).

We phoned MIL on speaker phone to tell her our happy news about the new baby (we already had a son) and her first response was ‘well when am I going to get some granddaughters?’

There are many more examples but this really took the biscuit

I’m really lucky that my MIL is great! Don’t get me wrong, we occasionally have a misunderstanding, but we (me, DS and DP, her daughter) live in the same house and 99.9% of the time. We get on really well.

Agree with this.

In the same way as when my DH needs to vent his parents, I just let him get out what he needs to and focus on supporting him. No need for me to join in and attack his parents.

Announced the birth of my first child on Facebook, despite being asked not to post on social media (as not all of my family have it and we wanted to speak to people ourselves first!) whilst I was in ICU after losing 5 litres of blood and my heart stopping during my c section and it was still touch and go whether I would survive. Went on to make it all about her. I haven't spoken to her in 7 years.

Well, we won't be spiteful, hateful and bullying to our DILs, we won't making vile comments about them and to them, nor will we reject, ignore , undermine and exclude them, nor will we wish them unwell or blame them for miscarriages, ill health and disability.... So we won't have those issues at all!

She's Dutch?

My Dutch MiL has a reputation for bluntness even among the Dutch. It's taken a lot if getting used to.

Rotterdammers are even worse though.

@RessicaJabbitIve never ever done those things to my Dil. But she’s set against me and my family and my ds is virtually cut off from us. My other Dil is lovely and we see her and my ds (and they asked to live with us for a while when they renovated their house) so I know I can’t be that bad as a mil. But some Dil can be hurtful too and I just want people to remember that if you have a son he is likely to be influenced by his partner. And often that doesn’t work out well for the son’s parents as many of my friends will testify.

My MIL said, very loudly, at her daughter’s wedding “I’ll give it 5 years”. She is constantly complaining about same daughter’s husband, saying his plan is “to take her away from her family” and calling him a bastard. He cannot do right on her eyes. His biggest crime was apparently asking her to use a coaster for her tea and after that, she never visited her daughter again. She has always been nice to my face but I’m sure she says similar things about me behind my back. Once she phoned me and it went to voicemail and unbeknownst to her, it recording her saying “she never answers the fucking phone” and I deleted it before I had to listen to any more.

The kids grew up in a different country to her and I think she blames me, even though we moved for her son’s job. We visited her twice a year but never stayed with her, always my parents, because her house was cold and absolutely full of crap as she is a hoarder. She has always resented us for this but honestly there wasn’t a bed in her entire large house that wasn’t covered in crap. She visited us a few times a year but no longer accepts the invitations.

Overall, she is not a very nice person and had few friends and has fallen out with everyone else in her family except her son and daughter. We will always keep trying with her but sometimes I do wonder why we bother.

That's a good response, she only had your version of events so keeping out of it was the best solution.

Went to a solicitor to find out what her rights were with regards to her having custody of the baby I was 25 weeks pregnant with. Our situation was ten years together, professional couple with own home, good finances and no ‘issues’. Was outraged when solicitor told her she had no rights.

My PiL both were strongly against having more than one child. Of course when he was still living with them my DH was influenced by them, they spoke very adamant about people having more than one or even....imagine....a large family 🥺 But once our little girl was born he changed his mind and was very much in favour of having a second baby. So when our little boy was on the way we proudly told our parents. MiL reaction : I should've known ýóú would "need to have one more". I could've killed her.

When I was pregnant with DD1, exMIL asked if I was aware that I could have a ‘black baby’. ExH is dual heritage. I explained that I was aware of genetic possibilities … she said, ‘well don’t worry, we’ll love it anyway’ 😳

My MIL sounds similar, we lost our first baby late too, 20 weeks and her first comment was ‘’what am I going to do with the christening cake I’ve baked now then’’..she had baked a replica of our wedding cake tier, never even asked us and made our baby loss all about her. She then arrived at the birth of my daughter, who was my second pregnancy uninvited and threw the curtains back around the bed and just walked in (I was being induced and was very scared because of losing my first baby). She also didn’t like my wedding flowers (the colours didn’t match with her outfit) so actually went into the florist and asked to have her button hole flower changed behind my back. The florist said it was bizarre!
i tolerate her, because she is the mother of my lovely DH (and he does too) but we avoid her. Life is too short for fall outs but also too short for allowing her to get too close and cause upset. We’ve been married 23 years and I’m really chill about her now (didn’t use to be tho!!).

I was having a nervous breakdown. Ex MIL, her voice cracking with emotion, saying "I just can't stand seeing (ex) so upset". He was upset because his domestic appliance was malfunctioning and it was inconveniencing him.
I am one of 3 siblings. Ex MIL saying out of nowhere "I always say you bring up two and drag up three". Pretty mild compared to a lot of other examples, but just such a smug, revolting attitude.

Some of these are awful!! My MIL is very passive aggressive. She’ll make little comments but never out and out horrible. Like we could save money if I didn’t buy wine or drink alcohol (one bottle a week, supermarket cheap plonk, she’s teetotal) or that it’s cruel to put kids in nursery as they should be with their mother (father..hello??) when they know we have no choice. Or buy stuff that’s clearly 2 sizes too small. Urgh. I ‘let her’ as can’t be bothered to rise to it.

I’m upset that she has made some of the happiest times of my life worse, but it’s unbearable that she has made the hardest times of my life even harder. I’ll never forgive her

Same way I feel about my MIL

Alot of the MIL's mentioned seem very against breastfeeding? What is the main reason for this?
My MIL came into my bedroom uninvited trying to pressure me to stop breastfeeding while I was breastfeeding. Then for the first few months she asked my DH almost every day if I had stopped breastfeeding yet.

Bloody hell, OP- she wouldn’t be anywhere near my baby after that 😔.

I’ve been lucky enough to be blessed with two wonderful MILs (but only one wonderful DH 😂). I’m trying to do the same for my DILs.

Called me it as in "does it want a cup of tea". Told my husband, In front of me, that I was having an affair, I wasn't. In front of teenage sons asked me if her having my husband circumcised as a baby had affected our sex life. When she saw our beautiful newborn baby for the first time she said, "what a shame about her hair."

She was a nightmare.

Oh I forgot when we told her I was pregnant she made sort of angry growling noises, went in the kitchen and started smashing dishes.

Similar situation. Been married for 7 years. Went to see pil to tell them expecting after several losses, to be told their daughter, who had recently got married, should have had the first grandchild. I produced a girl, which was also wrong as they wanted a Grandson to carry on the family name. I apparently then went on deliberately to have 2 more girls. Sil had 3 boys. After number 3 she was told by pil that they were disappointed as they wanted a Granddaughter.

Mil wanted a knitting bag for Christmas. Ones in the shop were tacky and too small so I bought fabric in her favourite colour, made a knitting bag, fully lined, French seams so no raw edges. Cosg much more than shop one.
Should have bought a nasty shop made one - "is that all you think of me, to give me something cheap and homemade " . Needless to say, I never made her anything else and made her ds do present shopping for them in future.
Fortunately, divorced him and happily married with step family who love my homemade gifts.

I hate my mil snd I haven’t spoken to her in 10 years.
Her husband was the one with most of the offensive comments. Often he made rude comments about my weight (I’m a size 8 not that it matters) and racist, sexist remarks. He’s dead now, praise be but MIl sat and condoned everything he said over the years, so she can fuck off too.
OH talks to her superficially and my kids are polite if they see her but non of us like her .

My mil's niece died very suddenly in her fifties. Then, a year later the niece's partner tragically died too. They didn't have children and my mil's sister inherited their house and savings. Mil's sister was devastated as she was really close to her daughter and partner.
My mil said she was really envious of her sister and that her sister was lucky because she now had lots of lovely money. Unbelievable.

To tell me "sorry your Mum has died. Never mind, you still have me and I've always loved you most". This was the first time she'd spoken to me in 18 months after taking offence that I hadn't made her favourite lasagne when she turned up for dinner uninvited!

Very well said. The vitriol towards MILS has shocked me. A comment the other day about it being fair that the DIL’s mother saw her GCs several times per week whilst MIL saw them once a month at DILs discretion really made me sad . Unfortunately the old saying “ your daughter is your daughter all of her life and your son is your son until he takes a wife” is sadly too often true .

To tell me "sorry your Mum has died. Never mind, you still have me and I've always loved you most". This was the first time she'd spoken to me in 18 months after taking offence that I hadn't made her favourite lasagne when she turned up for dinner uninvited!

Well said HelenaWaiting. My MiL wasn't easy so I've always tried to be mindful with my DiL. I have been nothing but friendly with my DiL but she has said and done some pretty thoughtless things. As long as we maintain a great relationship with our son I won't let it get to me.