My mother 'married down'
My father is the youngest (by 15 years) of 4 siblings
My grandmother died when he was barely out of his teens and my grandad took over
He did nothing for himself-no washing,cooking,cleaning-nothing
He even had his cornflakes poured for him in the morning
She still married him and had myself and my siblings (and my brothers take after him,parroting that 'women are programmed to work the washing machine,men are not!' 'Children are her problem' 'train your women lads!' and 'women should know their place on the kitchen!')
The cycle has continued as their wives are now breaking under the mental load while they do their 'big jobs' (the women all work too)
I cannot stress enough that my father worked bloody hard at his job but my mother has spent her adult life drowning under the load
He doesn't even know where his socks are kept,paid a bill or has to be told to have a shower,with her holding the shampoo/soap to make sure he does it properly
When I moved I with dp,I made it crystal clear I wasn't doing everything
He lives here so half the mental load is his and he saw the same with his father and how his poor mum tried so hard to do everything and almost broke under the strain (she had dp,his disabled sister to look after,run the house and deal with her husband,who was either at work or the pub)
He's a fully grown man and he either stepped up or fucked off
In the 10 years we've been together,he didnt do the washing up once (id had a shit day at work and cried over it) and he has rang me twice while at the supermarket to double check he was getting what id asked for rather than guessing and getting it wrong (he does the food shop by himself every fortnight)
No way am I living with a man baby and I refuse to train anyone