Cringing at DDs behaviour, asking her to stop sending the videos to the family GC

[Reoile]

We have a massive family group chat, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents. It’s pretty active and it is used as a supplement to social media for the most part, so imagine a lot of the things people might share on social media but in the group chat.

My DD is 25, she’s recently started dating a guy who 30 and he earns incredibly well. As such DD is now getting spoiled. I cannot help but cringe at all the “look at my new Hermes bag” posts or her out on boat days just acting a bit of a fool, popping champagne in clubs etc. I appreciate she is happy but it just comes across very cringey.
I know the rest of the family feel the same, it’s also very much openly assumed that she will be using cocaine in her new found circle.

WIBU to tell her to maybe not send these into the group chat as whether it’s fair or not the family are judging?

Tell her to calm it down, explain we're in a col crisis and people don't want to hear constantly about her bragging shite.
He'll dump her soon and move onto the next she'll soon get a reality check with a bump then!

Thats a huge leap they are making here. It sounds like they have been watching too much “Industry”.

You need to educate your family that not everyone who buys designer clothing is a drug user.

I definitely think you could say something like “Do just have a think about the things you’re posting on the group chat - remember that X and Y don’t have that much money, & I’d hate them to think you were bragging or anything “…

@Reoile I don't understand why you aren't just happy for DD, that she's having such a lovely time. Sure, it might not last, but why begrudge her for being happy and carefree. She's not a fool for enjoying herself as a young woman in her prime.

Yes, I can imagine there are many on the family group chap who resent her happiness. Not DD's fault.

Showing off your designer bag is not "doing lovely things" though, is it? It's just showing off.

OMG! Did he end up giving it to the next girlfriend?

Is she like this with her friends as well? Nobody likes a bragger.

Why’s it any different to any other family WhatsApp group?! There’s usually one family member or two living it up while the others aren’t. My in-laws are forever sending fancy holiday pics in the family chat. Others just make a joke or two to diffuse the awkwardness. It’s family life.

Good for her. You don’t like it because she’s branching out and it’s away from the family norms.

It's a time and place thing for me.

I'm sure DD finds a lot of support for her posts on Insta and just assumes family will also receive it well.

If you think she's not actively showing off and doesn't realise it's not landing well on the family group then I'd defo give her a heads up.

I'd be really upset if my Mum knew family were slagging me off and she didn't tell me.

I agree. I think it's horrendous that the extended family are making these assumptions about OP's DD. And it's terrible that the OP is more bothered by her DD's 'cringy' pics than that massive slight on her character. Why aren't you bothered about that Reoile? And why aren't you seemingly bothered thar there's a possibility they're right and therefore concerned for your DD?

Good for her! Your poor DD having such a spiteful family.

You all sound like bitter berties tbh.

You dont need a weathy boyfriend to do cocain btw.

If you genuinely believe she is using coke (seems a bit of a leap to me but whatever) shouldn’t you be worried about her and focussing your attention on that and talking to her about her lifestyle rather than concerning yourself with what family think on a group chat? Instead your post sounds more demonising than worried, and I can’t believe you referred to your daughter as a fool. Nice.

You and your family sound vile. Jealous much?? Be grateful she’s found happiness and having a good time…or watch her leave you all behind, when she realises you’re all jealous, judgemental narcissists…and as for the cocaine?! How stereotypical can you all be?! There are people who party in London “posh” clubs who don’t even drink, let alone do drugs?! Cocaine is very much done in your regular middle/lower class family suburban housing estate as much, if not more than done in “posh” London clubs. You’re all hateful, and it shows. Good luck to her, hope she marries him, has a fantastic life and loving kids that she can give the best to!

This.
You sound judgmental and jealous.

Mum sounds a tad jealous tbh

What?

This is MN in all its glory.
Bravo 👏

I hope she told him to get stuffed, as gifts belong to the recipient!

Yes, tell her to stop showing off as you and others are getting feb up with it 🤷🏻‍♀️

It sounds to me as if she's treating WhatsApp as if it's her Instagram/TikTok feed and sharing all the same things to it that she shares on her 'influencer' accounts, so yes, that's going to be annoying. It's not really about the wealth as such, it just sounds like content that isn't really ideal for a family WhatsApp. She's treating the family as if they're her audience and she has an image she wants to push to them, which is a weird way to see her own family.

She is living her life and enjoying herself. Leave her alone, life is too short.

Your daughter aNd you havent told her whats appropriate and what isnt, you,ve never set any boundarys and she doesnt know whats right from wrong, and you ask us how to deal with no wonder shes off the rails