Cringing at DDs behaviour, asking her to stop sending the videos to the family GC

[Reoile]

We have a massive family group chat, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents. It’s pretty active and it is used as a supplement to social media for the most part, so imagine a lot of the things people might share on social media but in the group chat.

My DD is 25, she’s recently started dating a guy who 30 and he earns incredibly well. As such DD is now getting spoiled. I cannot help but cringe at all the “look at my new Hermes bag” posts or her out on boat days just acting a bit of a fool, popping champagne in clubs etc. I appreciate she is happy but it just comes across very cringey.
I know the rest of the family feel the same, it’s also very much openly assumed that she will be using cocaine in her new found circle.

WIBU to tell her to maybe not send these into the group chat as whether it’s fair or not the family are judging?

It is cringey through; I’ve absolutely no interest in any of those things and I’d find it embarrassing and rather immature that somebody kept posting about them. If others in the family are struggling, then maybe she needs to grow up a bit emotionally

Bloody hell, I’m forever commenting on my Gen Y nieces and friends daughters posts, I’m happy they’re having fun.

As a millenial who grew up without the internet or mobile phones, I can’t identify with their lifestyle but I’m 💯 there to celebrate with them.

Why can’t you support your dd? She will be around a lot longer than your family.

This is your daughter??

I would be happy that my daughter is out enjoying life and love that she wants to share it with her family. My family would be happy too.

So much jealousy from your family it's not real. Roll eyes, scroll past, no need for the bitchiness from anyone.
If she was my d there is NO WAY would I let any of my cunty family members slag her off with the druggie or any other nasty comments.
She must live her life as she sees fit, if it goes toes up, keep the door open she just might need you. But perhaps not if she knew you let others slag her off.

Why do people always jump to jealousy as the motivation for any sort of criticism of bad behaviour? If a relative of mine was behaving like this I’d be embarrassed for them and their lack of self-awareness; I wouldn’t be in the least bit jealous, as it’s not the sort of lifestyle I aspire to or would enjoy.

Where does it say that she has ASD?

She must be taking cocaine because she's mixing with a certain type of people and the cousins know the type so it must be true.
Get over yourselves.
Even if she is taking cocaine, which is a big leap, so what? She's an adult and makes her own decisions. Her body, her choice. Her WhatsApp account, her messages. Her boyfriend, her happiness. I think you should all leave her alone.

You sound jealous of your daughter. You should be sticking up for her. Not agreeing with nasty relatives.

No need to be gratuitously nasty.

Ah yes, the typical mumsnet response on the first comment.

This sounds like it’s a way healthier family dynamic!

I would tell her to calm down on the posts. It seems distasteful when there are family members struglling to put food on the table and she’s constantly bragging. Yanbu.

Is she posting on tiktok or in the family group chat? I would have no issue with her showing off on SM as much as she wants. I'd still cringe but if it's her world, so be it. One can always choose not to look. But there is nothing wrong saying "DD the whole family loves you and roots for you but please be mindful there are many family members who are financially struggling currently and these videos might be very difficult for them. Could you keep the group chat for chatting, pics and family stuff and keep the lifestyle/influencer videos for TikTok/FB/YT...."

How embarrassing, you’re right- she doesn’t! I misread that line- just squished it together!
As such DD

Yes. Please do this at once. Go to the desk marked 'I think something but I don't know anything but someone said that maybe a thing and I think it needs reporting'
There will be someone there ready to take notes and send the SWAT team straight round.

You sound like a delightful lot 🙄

OP I think you’re teaching her to care about other people’s opinions. Worrying about what other people think kills dreams! Don’t do it - who cares if your family think it’s cringe. They have photos and videos of her that they can cherish, she’s interacting with them and sharing her joy, if they judge, let them judge but teach her to be her own person and not care what others think.

my mum did this to me so much growing up and I hated it. If I wanted to audition or sing or dance, she would tell me that people would talk about me and think I was “cringe”. I hate that I listened to her and didn’t go chasing my dreams.

No. People share fun things from their lives to their loved ones.

I’m not the rich millionaire sibling but I wouldn’t want her to avoid me because I’m a middle class single mom. I love seeing what her and her kids are doing.

Clearly you aren’t bothered about being outed op

Makes me wonder what your family dynamic is with how easily everyone has been negative about your own DD to your face

My family would NEVER speak that way about my DD to me

😂 it was a really valid response if she had of had Asd!

This is an excellent point

Aren't most people's family pleased if something nice happens to them? I'd actually say a GC is a more normal place to chat about that than Insta. My DSiS got Blue Light tix (massively well deserved - she's in a low paid caring profession) to a film premiere and it was awesome to see her on the red carpet. My DB has just posted my niece's report card - really nice to see her doing well. I couldn't give a toss about a posh handbag, but I know my DD would be going "Ooh, our Tracey's new fella has got her a Hermes bag. Look at this, mum!". Not all rich people do cocaine by the way, even if they go to posh clubs.

What? Second reply in.
Can you explain this horrible comment please?

Obviously has no class. But she is on the gravy train and showing off her bling.