Mum asked to stop breastfeeding a TWO YEAR OLD in shoe shop.

[GinaDavva]

Mixed feelings with this one. Shaming a mother publicly breastfeeding a small baby is never acceptable but breastfeeding a two year old child in a shop? Surely at that age a bottle is more convenient in the middle of a shop? My first thought was that this was more about attention than the actual principle of the matter. After breastfeeding 3 of my own I can honestly say there has never been a time where it felt necessary to start breastfeeding any of mine in the middle of a shop at two years old. Frankly at that age they wouldn’t find much in mine anyway!

www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cj3z31jn7v1o

I would have far more respect for people who are anti extended breastfeeding if they simply came out and said they find it gross because they think breasts are sexual things and they don't want to see children sucking on them. Why bother trying to make out it's for any other reason when those reasons simply don't hold water?

Did you??? And then edited your post with irrelevant statements? I don't see the edit label on your post?

So I've been thinking and I think my initial reaction (why not just wait and give the 2 year old a snack?) is due to the fact that breastfeeding toddlers and older is something that you don't see often so I naturally associate it with babies.

I have a 2 year old and I can't imagine breastfeeding him because yes, he's still very little but he very much isn't a baby any more. I also appreciate the fact that you don't just breastfeed a 2 year old, you breastfeed a newborn and that newborn grows into a 2 year old (if that makes any sense?).

Other options such as offering the toddler a cuddly toy, a snack, a hug etc aren't associated with just babies like breastfeeding is in society.

But I have realised that to someone who has always breastfed her 2 year old, it is exactly the same as a cuddly toy or a hug.

Yep. But I think they lie to themselves as much as anything. I don't think they want to admit internally that they are just captured by misogyny. Cognitive dissonance at its finest.

Thank you for reflecting and altering your opinion!

Err no I didn’t you just didn’t read my post?

Yes we did.

Some people might think it’s disgusting that you think the only reason someone might have an alternative opinion is because of sexual associations when they are actually posing questions about parenting skills.

Try reading my post again. Just double checked, I posted it at 17:30. You haven't made any sense if that was your reply. You are just spouting nonsense at this point.

I mean you've had 17 whole pages now to give a legitimate reason for your opinion that it's wrong to breastfeed a 2 year old in public (or on demand, or at night, or whatever else you also object to). You've not come up with anything yet 🤷

And yet you still haven't been able to explain why a breastfeed is a less valid parenting skill than a hug, a cuddy toy, or another distraction.

It's absolutely batshit that she's lying when her comment is literally there in black and white for all to see. It's typical, though, of somebody who can not defend their point.

Please give over ,I have never said it’s wrong to feed a 2 year old in public , I have solely argued that there are other ways to parent a 2 year old than automatically putting a breast in its mouth when it’s distressed….but somehow the fanaticists can’t understand that ….

No one has argued against this, we've simply asked you (multiple times) why you feel a breastfeed is a less valid way to offer comfort than any of these alternatives? Why do you think I should be offering those alternatives first?

I'm going to try again because I'm waiting around to give someone a lift and have time to kill.

What is the problem with breastfeeding a 2 year old if the child and the mother both want to? Why do you feel the need to "argue" at all?

She doesn't care at all about that, she just thinks you should offer an alternative first (but she won't say why - I wonder why that could be).

@Tiddlyswink I also just picked up on the fact you have called the breastfeeding mothers on this thread "fanaticists", despite the fact that there's only person who's making up fake facts to support their opinion (you). Amazing.

I have also said multiple times that it is age dependant @Fargo79 i have said previously , I think it’s poor parenting not to teach your child to cope with distress on other ways and to automatically resort to the boob. That’s clear is it not? If you don’t agree with me fair enough but surely at some age you will stop offering the boob and encourage alternatives? Do you not think 2 year olds are capable of doing anything else? To be fair, I have seen the negatives of this type of parenting at close quarters with my sibling who did extended BF which does colour my opinions. Child fell over, give him the boob, child tired, give him the boob, child not actually really wanting the boob but mum still trying to give him said boob etc etc. It’s a particular style of parenting that isn’t really meeting the child’s needs is it? You can give me all the flak you like but the voting is 55 v. 45 and I at least understand why people choose to do extended BF !

So if I was to offer a hug to my child, or distracted them with a toy, you'd think that was poor parenting that I clearly hadn't taught them to cope with distress in other ways? No? So it's just the breast that would cause that reaction? Why is that do you think?

If it's age-dependant, what age is the cut-off whereby breastfeeding in certain circumstances becomes unacceptable? What evidence is this opinion based on?

Why do you think that mothers who breastfeed on demand (possibly only sometimes, since this whole thread is based on witnessing a single occurrence) are not also teaching their children other methods of regulating emotions? If you see a mother speaking to a child, do you automatically assume she never hugs them?

Why would a breastfeeding mother need to offer other alternatives if she wants to breastfeed at that moment? Are there also hierarchies of acceptable parenting tools for non-breastfeeding mothers when deciding how best to parent their child in a specific situation? What evidence is this based on?

Has your opinion about feeding to sleep changed at all since the other PP linked to a trusted source that disproved your claim?

Teaching a child to cope with distress is a process, and I would not expect a 2 year old to have become an expert. You are making an assumption that all mothers who BF older babies and toddlers are following a specific particular 'style of parenting', and you base this just on the one example of your sibling (I presume you mean your sister btw) which you perceived as negative.

Whereas in practice women are likely to be breastfeeding alongside other processes of guiding and teaching as well as comforting their DC. I would rather leave it up to a mother to decide what is appropriate for her child at their development stage, and suggest that those who disapprove just avert their eyes.

I fail to understand why so many people find BF so triggering; a lot of them on this thread of all places. The voting is actually 55 majority that the OP IBU; though I admit I am disappointed that it is not much much higher. I would expect women on a parents' site to be near unanimous in supporting a breastfeeding mother who has been abused in public for exercising her legal right. But internalised misogyny - you know how it is.

@Fargo79 I have lost your quote but It’s not “ my “ opinion ,it’s https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28759394/ a study which is also quoted in the uk gov guidance and highlighted for further research because the increased dental cary rates for over 24 mths of age BF babies are possibly because some children are fed to sleep or do free feeding at night without toothbrushing afterwards. It’s not too hard to understand that you need to brush your older child’s teeth after a feed is it? If a 2 year old can only sleep by being breast fed to sleep then they are also not learning to self settle.

Two year olds are not constantly round their mother?! Are you sure about that? You do realise that children tend to stay dependant on their mothers last babyhood right? Or were you sending your two year olds out to work with a flask and a pack up?

Absolute drivel you're spouting.

Around me breastfeeding into toddler years is normal!

Boggles the mind how grown adults will happily chuck a mother cows milk in their tea or have it churned up and spread on their toast but a toddler having it's own mother's milk is somehow disgusting. Cognitive dissonance at its finest.

And where has anyone mentioned being breastfed to sleep being the go-to?

Again, if you'd bothered to read my post (which you clearly haven't) then you'd see the examples given were not the first choice option.

Interestingly, there is an awful lot of evidence for extended breastfeeding and oral muscle development for speech, and jaw development for optimal dental alignment. So dental research is generally in favour of breastfeeding.

Not brushing your child's teeth before sleep is just poor parenting whether you breastfeed or not.

I think it's up to the mother based on her assessment of the situation. It's not for anyone else to judge. Your argument that mum should have other means to comfort the child at a certain age suggests distaste for breastfeeding past a certain age. And yes people do have opinions but I think they should avoid judgment in this area. As long as mum's decision is working well for her and the child it's noone else's business whether she breastfeeds for 0 days 180 days 365 days or 5 years plus. There is no evidence to suggest any harm comes from extended breastfeeding in fact it's quite the opposite and people's mostly negative opinions are simply not evidence based.