Mum asked to stop breastfeeding a TWO YEAR OLD in shoe shop.

[GinaDavva]

Mixed feelings with this one. Shaming a mother publicly breastfeeding a small baby is never acceptable but breastfeeding a two year old child in a shop? Surely at that age a bottle is more convenient in the middle of a shop? My first thought was that this was more about attention than the actual principle of the matter. After breastfeeding 3 of my own I can honestly say there has never been a time where it felt necessary to start breastfeeding any of mine in the middle of a shop at two years old. Frankly at that age they wouldn’t find much in mine anyway!

www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cj3z31jn7v1o

'The shop apologised in a post on Facebook, adding that they wanted "everyone, including breastfeeding parents, to feel welcome and respected here".'

Shop shames mother for breastfeeding and then appears to suggest fathers can breastfeed. Why am I not surprised.

People have said on the thread that it’s an easy option for them

And you'd prefer they went for harder, more sophisticated options, like......?

Oral stimulation is a more basic form of comfort. This is why we expect babies & toddlers to stop mouthing toys, and licking things that are not food. If you actually look on websites about child development it will tell you that mouthing and sucking behaviours persisting past the age of two is actually a sign of sensory or development delays.

It is an option. An easy one and arguably the most comforting. If the child is seeking that specific comfort then denying it because of a bunch of judgemental twats who seem to have their own trauma around the female body makes zero sense and is potentially cruel.

Oh come on. You can’t be serious?!

"words and hugs and distractions"

A distraction a bit like breastfeeding then? Or a comforting hug, a bit like a comforting breastfeed?

Err..give them a hug , reflect back their feelings, try and model some words as to what you think they are experiencing ? What do you think dads, grandparents, nursery workers do who don’t have a breast to offer?

Also - what if the baby in that shop had a developmental delay?! There is nothing wrong with giving a child the comfort it is seeking. Any other opinion is totally anachronistic I’m afraid.

And do you often find them in shoe shops?

Or just ask them to wait two mins until you've finished shopping!!

At age two a breastfeed right this instant is a want not a need.

Well, unless there’s a good reason, not sure why a two year old needs to be breastfed. 🤷‍♀️

This is the natural way we evolved. Of course breastfeeding is partially for comfort. And we are evolved to feed until between 2 and 4. Why so we need 2 year olds to self soothe?

Dummies are a bit different as can effect teeth and speech if they are in too much.

Luckily trying to toughen up toddlers is a pretty old fashioned attitude as demonstrated on this thread (and yes, reflecting back feelings to a distressed 2 yr old whilst useful practice is not nearly as comforting as offering them a breast).

A distraction a bit like breastfeeding then?

A distraction like saying here you can hold mummy's keys or would you like to put a coin in the charity pot or "yes i know the shoe shop is a bit dull but we'll go to the park next".

How is giving a child a hug and reflecting back their feelings automatically inferior to offering a breast ? At what age do you think you would stop offering a breast and start doing something else? What do you do when you are on a motorway and your child is distressed in the back and screaming mummy !!booby!! do you pull over on the hard shoulder to BF them or do you comfort them verbally or try to distract them?

Where I live breastfeeding a toddler is normal and may this continue to spread

Like havint a bottle right?

Exactly. It annoys me so much we've basically been manipulated out what we evolved for as mothers, babies and small children because of ideas of what is modern/hygenic/ acceptable.

Why can't you understand that everyone's child is different and their needs are different?
It's frankly none of your business if a woman you've never met offers their toddler a breast. There is no evidence it's harmful, to the contrary, and it isn't bothering anyone else.
Why do you have to go round and round in circles trying to find ways for someone else to comfort their child? They are not asking for your advice.

Well, seeing as I have 4 kids ranging from 19 to 7 you can safely assume I’ve managed this impossible situation whilst extended breastfeeding. None of them are still breastfeeding.

what I cannot understand is why people give such a fuck and think it’s ok to be so judgemental. It’s not hurting anyone else, has proven multitudinous benefits and is protected by law.

Yes. People need to mind their own business and stop being so uptight. It's hurting no one.

And who exactly are you to decide this?!
a neurodivergent child might feel a primal need for that comfort. Some parents might not be able to offer it but if they can wtf wouldn’t they? And who are you to say what my child needs in any particular moment?

And why is that superior to a breastfeed?