Mum asked to stop breastfeeding a TWO YEAR OLD in shoe shop.

[GinaDavva]

Mixed feelings with this one. Shaming a mother publicly breastfeeding a small baby is never acceptable but breastfeeding a two year old child in a shop? Surely at that age a bottle is more convenient in the middle of a shop? My first thought was that this was more about attention than the actual principle of the matter. After breastfeeding 3 of my own I can honestly say there has never been a time where it felt necessary to start breastfeeding any of mine in the middle of a shop at two years old. Frankly at that age they wouldn’t find much in mine anyway!

www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cj3z31jn7v1o

Thats fine for those mums, I hope they are happy making the choices they make with no judgment from others. It is boring you're right. It should be a non issue. I wish we could live in a society with more support and less judgement, where women wouldn't feel shame for doing what they think is best for their children.

And most mums start to have a life that doesn't involve lecturing others on how they are/aren't allowed to parent.

As I said earlier, if a 2yo was fussing in a shop, I'd much rather see them bf than have a tablet shoved in front of their face to shut them up, or fed a twix. But developmentally stunting devices and UPFs are apparently preferable. 🤷‍♀️

Do you make your child wait every time they ask for something? I definitely don't do that, no. Sometimes I make them wait if necessary. Why would they automatically need to wait to be breastfed though?

Other parenting options are available ! do you literally think non BF mums only parent with screens or food?

Yes. Yes I do. 🙄

Or.....I've been reading the thread and am using examples of what has previously been suggested is better than breastfeeding.

What's your issue with milk but not water?

The fact is if a fussing toddler is given an unhealthy snack in a shop no-one bats an eye lid, but if a fussing toddler is given a breast, people like you judge them.

Yes, it does recommend BF on demand until age 2 (and beyond if wished).

If you would not have an issue with a child having a sip of water but you would have an issue with them having a breastfeed you need to have a word with yourself, because that problem is yours.

I don't know about you, but if I'm feeling thirsty and I want a sip of water, I get my water bottle out wherever I am

I don't. I was raised to think you eat and drink at appropriate times and places and in shops would not be included. What if someone bumps into you and you spill on the shops products? I would always wait until I'm outside. I am not really a believer in sipping constantly.

I think a lot of how we parent has meant that children now are unable to wait for anything. I think that's a bad thing.

🤣
"getting boring" = I have been pressed to answer questions that expose my agenda so I'm ducking out.

People will give all sorts of ludicrous arguments to cover up the fact that actually what they're uncomfortable with is the fact a child is feeding from a breast, and they think breasts are sexual things.

The fact is if a fussing toddler is given an unhealthy snack in a shop no-one bats an eye lid

Im nothing if not fair, I'd judge this too....

Lucky you can't spill breast milk direct from the breast then isn't it!

(After the initial few weeks when new mums leak everything from everywhere)

My now 9 year old was BF til the age of 3 and is a patient, well-mannered, kind boy. I know there is a certain breed of parent who thinks that parenting responsively creates spoiled and entitled brats, but those of us with a modicum of emotional intelligence are actually able to have boundaries in place AND recognise there is nothing wrong with having a drink if you're thirsty.

@Daaaaahling I was using the dummy as a comparator because I see whether it’s putting a dummy in or putting a breast in for an older child , is that you are effectively “shutting them up “ . A child at 2-3 is developing emotional regulation and language skills…why do we want to automatically shut that down by putting something in their mouth?? The link unfortunately doesn’t work and it’s a prospective study. There are studies on cognitive development and BF but unfortunately it’s a difficult area to study as many are confounded by socio economic factors, maternal IQ etc .

No it was because the poster I responded to was presuming that a. I was anti extended BF and b. anti BF in public, of which I am neither…,but most posters on BF threads tend to be of black and white thinking and come at you with bared teeth if you dare to disagree with the absolutist ideology!

But it is and it should be absolutist, because you have to be a specific type of person to object to a 2 year old having a drink in public.

Sigh….,have I objected or have I perhaps said they are OTHER ways to parent a 2 year old .they are not a baby anymore and you neglect their needs if you only ever resort to what is “easy”

Sure. That's why you're dodging the questions then 😁

To me its a very physical thing, you don't do that in shops just the same as you don't whip out the changing mat & change the baby on the floor of the shop.

I wouldn't eat and drink in a shop either.

I do also associate suckling for comfort as young infant behaviour and that as children grow they should be developing more sophisticated ways of being comforted - they should respond to words and hugs and distractions and not only the very basic sensory act of sucking.

It's hardly the easy option breastfeeding an older baby/child in public, given the amount of judgy comments you get subjected to.

Picking up a toddler or baby is physical. Strapping them into their push is physical. Loading them into a car is physical. Chasing them at the park is physical. I'm assuming you don't believe these things are not appropriate in public, so that's not the reason you object to breastfeeding in public either. Articulate what you actually mean. As for "sophisticated", that's a new one. Breastfeeding is not a "basic sensory act", and in fact performs many functions. Happily we don't have to guess or make false assumptions because we have science that proves this.

What are the more sophisticated ways of being comforted?

Read the post?

What questions?