Mum asked to stop breastfeeding a TWO YEAR OLD in shoe shop.

[GinaDavva]

Mixed feelings with this one. Shaming a mother publicly breastfeeding a small baby is never acceptable but breastfeeding a two year old child in a shop? Surely at that age a bottle is more convenient in the middle of a shop? My first thought was that this was more about attention than the actual principle of the matter. After breastfeeding 3 of my own I can honestly say there has never been a time where it felt necessary to start breastfeeding any of mine in the middle of a shop at two years old. Frankly at that age they wouldn’t find much in mine anyway!

www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cj3z31jn7v1o

It's not the only option. It might be the best one, depending on the situation. Why does it need to be a last resort? What's wrong with it?

I breastfeed my 15 month old anywhere she needs it, I will continue until she weans herself and will continue doing it on demand wherever i am whatever age that may be, I'm not going to allow her to cry because someone might not want to see me breastfeeding.

Having seen this influencer/content creators social media I now feel completely different about this story. The child she parades about on social media looks much older than two. 100% publicity.

@Daaaaahling it makes me laugh that you think my argument is because of the sexualisation of breasts! It’s a surprise to leap to that when my argument is solely that a 2 year old is at a developmental stage when a parent has other means to comfort that child and that some mothers use the breast as they might use a dummy. If you took a sample of 1000 uk children who were social group matched and divided them into children who were BF for 6 weeks, children who were BF for 6 months, those who were breastfed for 1 year and those who were BF for 2 years do you honestly think we would find measurable cognitive/ emotional developmental differences?

Of course it's about the mother, not about the child at that age, at least be honest about it.

It's ok for children to grow up you know, now that's natural!

Breastfeeding a 2 year old is quite reasonable, we need to get rid of this idea that breastfeeding is something that needs to be done in private.

You know a dummy was used to imitate the breast and not the other way round right?
As in the breast was a natural form of comfort designed to feed and comfort a baby well into toddlerhood.
The natural weaning age for 95% of human history was a 2.5-4.5, older in some cultures. Definitely not before 2. So it's entirely natural to use it as a source of comfort and entirely natural for a baby to not want to wean before this age. It's actually you that's odd for thinking they are too old and should use something else.

So you've made a comparison with a dummy, but it's a poor one.

Breastfeeding facilitates a moment of closeness and connection with the mother.

Breastfeeding is discrete event. It starts and then it finishes, the child moving onto something else.

Breastfeeding for a toddler cannot be conducted at the same time as going for a walk, playing with toys, exploring, interacting with others etc

Whereas a dummy can sit in a child's mouth, indefinitely, preventing them from using speech whilst they engage in a wide variety of activities completely ignored by their parent.

And I'm not trying to demonise dummy use, I'm sure there are times that using a dummy is totally fine and a helpful comfort tool, but worst case scenario is above which can negative and is linked to poor speech development. Which I expect is why you are trying to liken breastfeeding a toddler to sticking a dummy in.

And yes actually, far from being hypothetical researchers in several countries have already measured a modest positive correlation between duration of breastfeeding and increased educational attainment and IQ. Why don't you Google it?

(Can't attach the image unfortunately but here's a link: https://www.thelancet.com/journals/langlo/article/PIIS2214-109X(15)70002-1/fulltext)

This graph is from a prospective study carried out in Brazil, published in the Lancet, for instance.

You are right that this is a topic meriting further investigation - but who will fund it?

I find it a bit weird/icky when someone opts to breastfeed their child into the toddler years but ultimately it's their choice and women have an absolute right to breastfeed in public regardless of how old their child is.

I think some people do sort of do this out if principal, in a slightly performative way. A two year old can be given a drink or snack if hungry or thirsty, or given a hug if upset, and does not need to suckle as their only means of comfort, nutrition or fluid, so they can just wait a few mins until you are somewhere more appropriate. I wouldn't give my child a snack or drink in a shop either I'd expect them to wait until we were outside.

I’m not and have never said a baby should be weaned before 2, I don’t have a problem with extended BF! If you have read my posts that is not the argument I’m making. I wouldn’t give a 2 year old a dummy either….they shouldn’t be used after the age of 12 mths.

So you just have a problem with extended breastfeeding in public? At what age is someone allowed to breastfeed in public in your view?
Or do you need to find out the reason first? Nutrition acceptable but comfort not? Do we need to ask the baby what their primary purpose is before each feed? Genuinely interested.

What utterly pathetic people the pair of you are. Imagine being so truly uptight and miserable the sight of a human breast doing the thing it's designed to do is offensive and uncivilised to you.

99% of the time when a woman is breastfeeding in public you don't even see the breast FGS.

Why is it weird and icky? You realise it's totally biologically normal don't you? You find it weird and icky because society has sexualised breasts.

I should add, i don't like seeing 2 yr olds with dummies in their mouths either!

I breastfed mine into toddler years and think its biologically appropriate but i didn't go in for feeding toddlers on demand. At that age they don't need a "moment of closeness" in a shoe shop. They might want one but the world doesn't revolve around them and they learn to wait.

99% of the time when a woman is breastfeeding in public you don't even see the breast FGS.

Omg you do with toddlers! They hang off your breast, squirm, look around! It was what pushed me to wean.

No I don’t have a problem with extended BF in public? But I do think that by the age of 2 , BF on demand is perhaps done by mums who are still wanting to treat their children as young babies rather than growing children .

I don't know about you, but if I'm feeling thirsty and I want a sip of water, I get my water bottle out wherever I am.

You are aware the WHO recommends breastfeeding til age 2 (minimum) for its health benefits, aren't you.

As this Mum could have done for her child? I doubt he drinks no liquids other than breast milk.

does the WHO recommend BF on demand at age 2 ? Are your children not eating anything or able to drink water from a cup and wait for a BF ? Were no one else’s children in nursery at age 2 or are all these passionate mums SAHP ? It’s the ON DEMAND bit please note!

Why should they wait? If they want to be breastfed and mum is happy to do it?

So you aren’t teaching your 2 year old to wait for anything but to be able to demand what they want NOW?

Ok so it's the 'demand' that's the issue.
They can breastfeed when they are two but it has to be at a time when the parent thinks is suitable and the parent should only think it's suitable at home. How unnecessarily controlling to both a mother and child that you haven't even met and know nothing about.

this convo is getting very boring now but most mums do start to have a life that doesn’t revolve around stopping everything to BF their child on demand by the age of 2.