Son not invited to friend’s birthday party (13)

[PeoniesGinandBags]

My son is part of a group of a dozen or so boys in our smallish community who went to the local primary school together and then moved to the secondary school. Much bigger as it takes in from all the villages etc.

It was one of the boy’s birthdays and, it turns out, he had a birthday party at what looks to be a kind of snooker, bowling type place. I only know because his mum just shared all the photos on Facebook.

all of the boys from the group were there. My son had not been invited.

The family live a few doors down and whilst as parents were not friends on our own, we are friendly because our boys are.

Most nights, all of them are playing online together. As they are right now!

I feel really angry and upset that my son didn’t even get an invite. I’ve not asked him about it because I don’t know what to say. Am I wrong to think this is a bit of a crap thing to do? He’s absolutely the only one not invited. I know all of them as they’ve grown up together. It feels really exclusionary.

my son and the birthday boy did have a really small falling out perhaps 8 or 9 months ago but it was all done and dusted in a day and was nothing major. O even spoke with his mum above it.

i feel so sad that my son wasn’t included. And honestly, annoyed. Who does that? I would understand if it was just 2 or 3 pals but it is absolutely all of them!!!

Some did as they became aware of the atrocities. But the historical perspective allows one to see the systematic planned destruction of the Jewish people, and other races/ethnicities not considered acceptable. There can never be any doubt as to why Israel, with the centuries of prejudice and the Holocaust, will never let its people be annihilated again. Hamas attacked knowing what the outcome would be. So yes if I saw my neighbour with a Palestian flag I would judge.

the murder of thousands of innocent people is horrific. No matter who those people are. Whether they are Jewish or Muslim or Christian or any or no faith.

Wtf?!

No less batshit than a bunch of MN tales

What was the falling out about? Who was at fault? It it was something truly awful, then it is understandable he was not invited and you should be thankful they did not take it further. If, on the other hand, it was trivial and your boy was not at fault, they are swines.

If true, the woman is a total idiot. She should not take your views or leanings out on a child. Very discriminating.
Do you shout about your views so people know about them? Do you get annoyed when people disagree with you on the subject. If yes stop it because it is affecting your son. If no the woman is crazy.

Agree with this 👆 flags are a political statement of affiliation.

I politely replied to your post sharing why I agreed with the neighbour. I didn't say that for me the documented sexual violence of 7th Oct was a final line for me. The Hamas leadership at that point showed their contempt for women and girls. That might not be your line, but its mine. The Hamas males knew what they were doing and didn't bother the consequences would be for women, girls or children. A Palestian flag in the UK is to me a show of support for men who don't care about anyone but THE cause. I dont want to derail this thread, but hopefully OP can now understand why others, and non-jewish people, are concerned about Palestinian flags.

Maybe he has been.

okay that’s a wild update!

Fuck her though and anyone who believes that having compassion for Palestine is a political statement and not just basic humanity!

I’d erect an extra large Palestine flag in the garden now.

Very sad that she would leave one child out for that pathetic reason.

That seems quite odd to me. I mean, they’re 13. Surely they’re at the stage of choosing their own party guests and friends, regardless of their mother’s opinion of their friends’ parents’ politics?

This... really weird. At 13 I'd have fought my mum tooth & nail if she'd tried to be weird about my friend over something like this

That said, i do think overt demonstrations of political support tend to be social suicide, you always piss someone off,especially with something like israel palestine where its very very polarised and a lot of people have strong views.

The vast majority of murdered Palestinian people were not killers or rapists, they were innocent victims. As with just about any conflict.

For all you know she may have been personally affected by the 7th October massacre. You don’t have to be a practicing Jew to have a dear friend or relative who was there. And if you feel strongly enough about Middle Eastern politics to put 6 flags up in your front garden for the world to see where your loyalties lie, I’d imagine you are better placed than many of us to empathise with someone who cares as deeply about an issue as she does.

Yeah this seems very off.

You think a Jewish person wouldn't have a visceral reaction to Palestinian flags? Jeez, I would and I'm not Jewish.

So, yes, I'd privately judge you for being thoughtless and easily led (at best).

But I wouldn't want to penalise your son for it.
The mother of one of my daughter's friends is a Hamas groupie. I want zero to do with this woman but wouldn't let that impact on our daughters' friendship. That said- I saw a pic of mum and daughter on fb with matching Pally badges; it makes me so uneasy.
Heads-up, this is how many others will perceive you.

No, the flying of Palestian flags is not automatically support for Hamas, for many,
it is solidarity for the people of Palestine.

Sorry this has happened to your son OP. Just a thought (sure you’re on it) but please explain it to him so he understands why.

Re the mother, what absolute batshittery is that. Like you’re going to engage her in a political discussion at drop off. Seriously, she needs to wobble her head. Can’t stand one child being left out of stuff - it’s vile unless there is a really solid reason. A parent expressing support for humans facing genocide (as defined by international law) is not a solid reason. The flag identifies with the people not with hamas as an organisation (which the flag predates).

Well that's one hell of an update.
I'm with your neighbour tbh - bloody weird to put Palestinian flags in your front garden. A red flag, if you like. I'd think you were probably like those nutters inviting arrest for supporting PA every weekend in London. No thanks.

I assume you know that Palestinians were not involved in the Holocaust so that's quite a stretch. It's a bit like saying that everytime i read about the Holocaust i think about the fact that gaza has the world's largest population of child amputees now. ( I don't by thr way. Just trying to point out how non sensical that line sounds. Like most people I feel compassion for both the victims of thr Holocaust and the people who were killed or maimed in gaza recently and also rhe Israeli victims of oct 7. I mean it's all just horrible and they are all humans)

Op gosh that mum is vile. I was trying to think if id exclude somebody's child because their parents voted reform or because they had st George's flags plastered all over their gardens and I don't think I would unless the child is racist as well.

"No, the flying of Palestian flags is not automatically support for Hamas, for many,
it is solidarity for the people of Palestine."

Actually, it's code for I'm a fashionable Western moron who cannot see how much pain this flag causes over here.

Especially considering that nearly half of those that died were children.

Ive noticed that you simply won't reply to any argument I put forward as to why a Palestinian flag might be hostile for many people. The Palestinian people allowed Hamas to operate for decades. Hamas and Palestine are entwined. It is naive to suggest otherwise. A Palestinian flag totally suggests support for hamas and their actions. Oct 7th and sexual violence towards women. I will not accept or condone that violence. My son knows I dont. I wish others would educate their children.

How hard of thinking are you? you said it yourself "as with any conflict" civilians are killed as a shitty byproduct of war

Whereas the murdered kids and young people at the Israeli festival and beyond were actively targeted because they were civilians- away from any battle lines or military bases.
what is Israel to do -shrug?- do nothing because Hamas builds it's bases in and around high civilian areas?
Do you honestly not understand the difference between casualties of war and casualties of terrorism

Ok pretty weird post if true. Why would you want to fly Palestine flags of any size in your garden? Don’t know where you live in UK but no one does this in my area and if they did I might not want my child to be involved in such a political themed household. Your DS seems very sensible to not want to pursue this and just remain friends with the boy. If the mother has noticed it then it must be quite obvious.