Son not invited to friend’s birthday party (13)

[PeoniesGinandBags]

My son is part of a group of a dozen or so boys in our smallish community who went to the local primary school together and then moved to the secondary school. Much bigger as it takes in from all the villages etc.

It was one of the boy’s birthdays and, it turns out, he had a birthday party at what looks to be a kind of snooker, bowling type place. I only know because his mum just shared all the photos on Facebook.

all of the boys from the group were there. My son had not been invited.

The family live a few doors down and whilst as parents were not friends on our own, we are friendly because our boys are.

Most nights, all of them are playing online together. As they are right now!

I feel really angry and upset that my son didn’t even get an invite. I’ve not asked him about it because I don’t know what to say. Am I wrong to think this is a bit of a crap thing to do? He’s absolutely the only one not invited. I know all of them as they’ve grown up together. It feels really exclusionary.

my son and the birthday boy did have a really small falling out perhaps 8 or 9 months ago but it was all done and dusted in a day and was nothing major. O even spoke with his mum above it.

i feel so sad that my son wasn’t included. And honestly, annoyed. Who does that? I would understand if it was just 2 or 3 pals but it is absolutely all of them!!!

Not always - the St George's flag waving is not virtue signalling. It is either "patriotic and realistic about immigration" or it is "racist" dependent on your viewpoint.

Palestinian and trans flags are virtue signalling, the people flying them want to be seen as good. St George's flags are aimed at forming a patriotic, pro-brit, anti-islamist, anti-mass-immigration movement to achieve political change. The people flying it don't care if you think they're racist (though most would probably prefer that you were honest and acknowledged they're not).

Palestinian and trans flags are virtue signalling as evidence by the sloganeering and refusal to speak or try to change minds when they meet neutrals or the opposition.

If a person doesn't care about the deaths and injury of tens of thousands of children then they are in all decent assessments; a monster.

Did OP said she was unfriended because her neighbour thinks she's insane for caring about palestinian children? Or is there maybe more to it than that?

No I was talking about both sides.
So much bias, propaganda, lies and downright taking sides in an overwhelming manor that it’s difficult to see the wood for the trees.

@BreathOfTheMild

Hamas weren't entitled to enter a music festival full of civilians and indiscriminately massacre them. They weren't entitled to kidnap and murder people merely living in their kibbutzes, including babies. They weren't entitled to throw grenades into bomb shelters murdering, maiming and kidnapping the unarmed people held within.

The hostages that have spoken of sexual assaults whilst in captivity were entitled to be unmolested. There's plenty of documentation of sexual assaults on the day itself, unfortunately there weren't any survivors, just their tortured corpses.

Oh no! Please carry on shopping there! Your pennies are going to make her a millionaire.
Good ridddance to bad rubbish 🙂

Genocide doesn’t have to be legally recognised to be acknowledged. A formal legal determination is simply required for governments to acknowledge it officially in some cases.

Individuals, academics, advocacy groups, political groups can acknowledge and use the term based on evidence and legal definitions - and this is often where the ultimate legal recognition of genocide starts.

No international court has as yet ruled in Israel’s favour that there has been no genocide - we have had no ruling at all as yet. Nor does the issue stand and fall on the SA case alone.

@PeoniesGinandBags

You can probably see that there's a lot of feeling around this. Please just move on, you're unlikely to change each others viewpoint. Your sons deserve to be friends without the Israeli -Palestine conflict getting in the way.

Are you suggesting that Israel prove a negative?

At that age I'd find it surprising they were still close friends with exactly the same group of kids from the village primary.

If there was a falling out or something it's for him to navigate. Teen friendships shouldn't be interfered with by their parents. You can't force this other kid to continue to be besties with your son forever. Things change. People grow apart.

And plenty of people play Minecraft or computer games with people they've never even met in real life. So to me that doesn't indicate anything weird they still game together.

I know you feel protective over him but there isn't really anything you can do.

It's really strange that this has descended into an Israel vs Palestine debate.

It's irrelevant. Even if the OP was a hardcore MAGA supporter with a shrine to Trump in her garden.

This is about a 13 yo child being excluded because of OP's political views- not because she has gone around evangelising about them or ordering people to subscribe to them, but because she decided to have some items relating to them on her own personal property.

If the other Mum had decided not to be friends with OP because she feels so strongly about it and doesn't want to associate with people who disagree, that's one thing, but extending that to her child who presumably has had no say in his Mum's opinions is twisted and the same kind of thinking with drives hatred and division between communities.

I’m suggesting you don’t hold the absence of a legal ruling of genocide as proof of its absence.

Particularly as the ICJ ruled in a provisional measures order that there was a plausible risk of genocide and required Israel to take measures to prevent it, halt the Rafah offensive, and allow humanitarian aid. These are legally binding.

No I don’t understand about Palestine being erased but I am willing to hear what you are saying.

So basically the no smoke without fire type of justice.
Ok well I think we will have to agree to disagree on this and leave it there.

I would bet it’s down to a bit more than Palestinian flags being displayed visibly in the front garden to make some kind of point (assume you are not in the Middle East OP?). Although 6 indicates what I would assume was a worrying obsession about it.

Maybe after noticing your display of solidarity to terrorists and their supporters who’s cause is the destruction of Israel and the Jews, proxies of Iran who’s cause is the destruction of Western civilisation, she looked you up on SM and found your opinions displayed as rabidly as your flags OP?

Perhaps she found this extremely offensive and also quite dangerous for young minds to be around. Perhaps your DS has mentioned some of your views to her DS, or perhaps even your DS has mentioned that he doesn’t agree with your views so the mum knows your son is OK but doesn’t want anything to do with you as I wouldn’t either TBH.

Maybe she knew explaining why she didn’t want you to drop off would cause a confrontation that she didn’t want to marr her son’s celebration. Maybe the friend had explained to DS why he wasn’t invited before the day and he understood.

Maybe there were other people invited who she knew would be offended if you turned up at the drop off spouting your views. Maybe along the lines of it’s terrible to celebrate anything while children in Gaza are dying etc (which I’ve heard from pro-Pals to emotionally manipulate for the cause on several occasions!). Have you got pro-Pal stickers on your car as well?

I kind of think it as a global derangement and would assume a fragile state of mind from supporters, as well as Jew hatred.

I don’t agree with your DS being excluded due to your views OP and I wouldn’t have but maybe this mum is party to more info than we are and she knows she can’t stop her DC being friends with him but doesn’t want anything to do with your family in a situation she’s paying for.

Moral of the story is public displays of support to a cause that generated one of the worst terrorist attacks of our time, may make people have a strong view against you, which can also impact your DC so best to consider that before making them.

But they only seem to care about the deaths and injury of tens of thousands of children when the Jews do it. Thats the problem, you see.

Please explain to your son that his exclusion had nothing to do with him.

That’s not even remotely what I’ve said. I’d agree this discussion has nowhere to go.

Well in essence you did say that.
Anyway let's leave it there.

That’s not what the ICJ ruled. The ICJ ruled that Palestinians ‘had a plausible right to be protected from genocide’.

Which is pretty obvious and should not need a ruling to confirm so the ruling proved absolutely nothing.

Wow. That's quite an update.

I have no words.

my gdaughter an Angel in the play at school
does anyone know where to get wi gs

Especially as he sounded like he wasn't fine! I don't blame OP

I did not. You’re arguing in essence that murder has definitely not occurred in a case hasn’t even been tried yet. Cf my point that absence of a ruling is not evidence of absence of genocide.

oh well at least you know now, and know it wasn't that the boy didn't want your son there.