Son not invited to friend’s birthday party (13)

[PeoniesGinandBags]

My son is part of a group of a dozen or so boys in our smallish community who went to the local primary school together and then moved to the secondary school. Much bigger as it takes in from all the villages etc.

It was one of the boy’s birthdays and, it turns out, he had a birthday party at what looks to be a kind of snooker, bowling type place. I only know because his mum just shared all the photos on Facebook.

all of the boys from the group were there. My son had not been invited.

The family live a few doors down and whilst as parents were not friends on our own, we are friendly because our boys are.

Most nights, all of them are playing online together. As they are right now!

I feel really angry and upset that my son didn’t even get an invite. I’ve not asked him about it because I don’t know what to say. Am I wrong to think this is a bit of a crap thing to do? He’s absolutely the only one not invited. I know all of them as they’ve grown up together. It feels really exclusionary.

my son and the birthday boy did have a really small falling out perhaps 8 or 9 months ago but it was all done and dusted in a day and was nothing major. O even spoke with his mum above it.

i feel so sad that my son wasn’t included. And honestly, annoyed. Who does that? I would understand if it was just 2 or 3 pals but it is absolutely all of them!!!

@Whatwerewetalkingabout

I disagree. The invasion of Israel is a causus belli. Hamas started the war.

The marches and flag waving have been counter productive. They haven't affected the government's decisions in any way as far as I can see (whatever the government could do in the first place which is very little) and they have highlighted how much anti semetism has increased in the UK leading a great many Jews to be fearful. Those marches were organised before the massacre had even ended.

This is not our business. This is not like the Iraq war. So goodness knows why someone thinks flying six flags in their garden is going to make any difference other than making her look like an anti semite (unless she also has flags for the Muslims in China or for the Sudanese). And if she looks like an anti semite you wouldn't want your kids in her house.

So let's suppose the friend wanted to invite Op's son & he was told no because?

"His mum has Palestinian flags in the garden & I don't want her to even drop your friend off"

It was barbaric and awful, but they have been living under seige in an apartheid state having their children shot at and homes bulldozed down with impunity for decades. Thousands of innocent Palestinian children have been murdered on the run up. You can't ignore the war crimes committed against them? If you see the last 2 years of revenge as justification for October 7th maybe they saw October 7th justified by the systematic murder and oppression they had endured before that?

I'm not saying any of these acts are justified by the way but you seem to justify Palestinains being murdered as revenge in a way that noone justify the October 7th attack. Also look at what's happening in the West Bank too. What have they done wrong apart from exist?

If they were carrying out a genocide 2 million Palestinians would be dead not tens of thousands that were dead because Israel were trying to obliterate Hamas.

😨 That's genuinely shocking! She sounds like a weirdo, policing her teenage son's friends, based on their mother's political views!! At least now your son knows it's nothing he's done / that there's any issue with his friendship. One of my bf at that age, had a really very strange mother too. We both just rolled our eyes over her odd behaviour, and as we got older we just met out and about, away from parental influence 🤷‍♀️

@IsEveryUserNameBloodyTaken

The use of the word "genocide" has a clear aim bearing in mind it's being aimed against Jews.

And nitwits that don't think deeply have just picked up that word and use it in the case of Gaza even though a genocide is not happening.

So the word has now lost its' power and meaning. And can't be used to the same effect when there is an actual genocide going on eg in Sudan.

Same as the over use of the word "racism".

You’re welcome to read up on the legal definition of genocide.

Palestinians have a right to their own land and to stand up against ethnic cleansing.

The Nazis facilitated the emigration of around 60,000 Jews to British Mandatory Palestine in the Haavara Agreement in the early 30s. Any Jewish person would have been wise to take it in the circs, but nonetheless they had the right to oppose forced emigration no?

That is absolutley fucking awful and I can't put into words that those people deserve death. But absolutley nothing justifies the continued bombing of Palestine. :(

Palestinian children shouldn't have to pay the price. What is the aim apart from to kill them all. Its just bloody revenge.

I did after posting. Some ho-ha about some flags. *eyeroll

You might want to explain this to your son so he realises it’s not about him. I’m heartbroken for him. The other mother is awful, how would she feel if you done the same to her child

They didn’t have any choice but to go after Hamas.
You keep saying revenge but Israel did not have a choice.
Israel are also under the threat of constant attack that is why they have an Iron dome.They just want to live their lives in peace and none of this will stop until a permanent solution is found which does not include Hamas or any other terrorist group that wants the distraction of all Jews.

But a third of the killed are children, thats not targeting Hamas. And stopping aid and food and obliterating hospitals will kill so many more, they're just waiting it out. They don't need to bomb them all at this point apart from to clear the rest of the infrastructure ready for the bulldozers. They'll just die. They're completely fucked without international intervention.

I agree israel has the right to exist but the settlers arent behaving well and Netanyahu is awful by anyone's standards.

Right, so that goes back to not flying the flag of Palestine in the aftermath of their terrorist attacks, because it shows explicit support for those actions. Because as we have discovered, if you would not also fly the Israeli flag due to the government, that shows that you are supporting the Palestinian government.

I will also mention that the organisers of the Palestine marches in the UK have Hamas ties, including one ex-Hamas official, and that they have committed violence against those at the marches who have criticised Hamas.

Well, I hope you have learned a valuable lesson. People see political issues in very different ways, and if you choose to make your politics known people have every right to change their view of you.

The flag you flew can be perceived to mean that you support the end of the killing, and for ordinary palestinians to get basic food and housing and a dignified safe life. It can also be seen as anti-semitically supporting one of the most evil terrorist groups around and as a sign that you are part of an insane identitarian left that is a massive threat to the classical liberal democratic tradition of the last couple of hundred years. I presume your neighbour sees it in the latter way, whatever it is that you mean by flying it.

You need to go and read up on the legal definition of genocide as set out in the UN convention on genocide.

The actions in Gaza have been declared genocide, war crimes and crimes against humanity by the world’s leading scholars on genocide - IAGS ( the International Association of Genocide Scholars). Other leading human rights organisations agree including two Israeli organisations.

South Africa brought a case in 2023 to the International Court of Justice to the effect that Israel is committing genocide, Israel has until January 2026 to present its defence.

Everyone has a right to draw a boundary around their kid(s). I would do everything in my power to keep my kid(s) safe from (ie miles away from) a parent who support gender ideology and that parent's kids (especially if they identified as TRAs or trans).

It is not a genocide.

At least she was honest.
whether it was right or wrong.

I would explain this to your son too so he knows it was an adult thing nothing he had done or hadn’t done.

Blimey 😬
I can’t believe that anyone would have child-sized Palestinian flags in their garden.
Good for her for standing up to her own beliefs.

Im just wondering if this other Mum. will be policing her Sons girlfriends in years to come. You know ,I like Helen but her Dads a Tory /labour voter .or Carolines a nice girl but what about her Mum ? Shes veggie you know !

That's actually fair enough. Are you Palestinian? If not, I would feel the same way that she does.

As long as she doesn't mind other people having their own beliefs too.

I always think with politics its a good policy to know your audience.

I also would feel the same about someone who had Union Jacks or English flags on display. I don't like people who make their political affiliations so loud, it feels attention seeking.

I’m afraid I don’t hold much weight on the words of the IAGS, especially as the vote was only made up of 20 % of those eligible anyway and shows clear bias against Israel.