Son not invited to friend’s birthday party (13)

[PeoniesGinandBags]

My son is part of a group of a dozen or so boys in our smallish community who went to the local primary school together and then moved to the secondary school. Much bigger as it takes in from all the villages etc.

It was one of the boy’s birthdays and, it turns out, he had a birthday party at what looks to be a kind of snooker, bowling type place. I only know because his mum just shared all the photos on Facebook.

all of the boys from the group were there. My son had not been invited.

The family live a few doors down and whilst as parents were not friends on our own, we are friendly because our boys are.

Most nights, all of them are playing online together. As they are right now!

I feel really angry and upset that my son didn’t even get an invite. I’ve not asked him about it because I don’t know what to say. Am I wrong to think this is a bit of a crap thing to do? He’s absolutely the only one not invited. I know all of them as they’ve grown up together. It feels really exclusionary.

my son and the birthday boy did have a really small falling out perhaps 8 or 9 months ago but it was all done and dusted in a day and was nothing major. O even spoke with his mum above it.

i feel so sad that my son wasn’t included. And honestly, annoyed. Who does that? I would understand if it was just 2 or 3 pals but it is absolutely all of them!!!

Yes, do tell your son so that he knows it’s not about him.

There’s a local shop I’ve used for years, the owner’s whole social media feeds have been given over to Palestine - posts about her weeping over Gaza, really dodgy cartoons, AI photos. I’m not invested in the conflict, or any other, and I think her behaviour is just weird. She sells socks, hand cream, vases, that sort of thing, and when you go in the shop there are fliers and posters for Palestine fundraisers everywhere. I’ve stopped shopping there and I’d do the same with any shop where the owners politics were pushed like that

Wow. I’d respond saying I’m not sure I want my son mixing with someone whose parents are so unkind, but of course I wouldn’t leave a child out due to something out of their control. Then I’d buy a bigger flag.

But they are happy to annihilate others, that makes total sense! To be honest, I am glad that most don’t think like you, and can see what’s happening for what it is!

Excluding your son like that was weird and totally not the right thing if they are friends.

However, you were flying the flag of a government that literally pays its citizens to murder Jewish people, and whose manifesto states its goal is to destroy Israel and rid the world of Jewish people, and you were doing this in the aftermath of the deadliest terrorist attack in Israel's history.

How would you feel if you neighbour were flying flags in support of Isis and Al Qaeda? Hamas is no different.

What does it say about me?

Yeah, you're right to think that it seems pretty mean, but there comes a point where you just have to let your kids work it out for themselves.

I would imagine that something has gone on that you're not fully aware of, even if he says he doesn't know. He very likely does know, or at least has an inkling, but like most teenagers, doesn't want to share all the exact ins and outs of his friendship group with his mum. Especially if he was actively playing with them online when you asked.

Have you actually read the thread? It may help you.

@Chiefangel @OpalBerry
I believe it’s OP’s DS and his friend who message each other a lot, not their mothers.
(When OP says ‘friend messages a lot’ she immediately explains how she knows that by saying she checks her son’s phone regularly.)

I wouldn’t bother it’s such an overused phrase on here it’s lost all meaning except to signal the person is being a bit of a smart arse.

I wouldn't be too sure about that. I suspect most people in the UK just quietly go about their business, don't get overly het up about Gaza over any other conflict in any other land that doesnt involve Jews and are actually pretty appalled at the behaviour of some of the "Pro" Palestinians seeing many of them as anti-semites.

But she wasn't flying Hamas flags she was flying Palestinian flags. Surely you don't believe every Palestinian is Hamas and deserves annihilation including the women and children? Christ I'd hate if Reform got in and my 5 year old was considered part of that political party and a military target. 😞

Exactly this.

How has she made it worse? She's discovered it's the kids Mum who has a problem with her

You haven't read OPs posts have you?

So why wasn't she flying the Israeli flag as well, in support of the Israeli citizens?

Unfortunately Hamas is the government of Palestine and started the war. So flying the Palestinian flag is supporting a war against Israel waged by Hamas. That's flags for you!
Deploy with care in a complex two-sided issue and remember who is actually being affected by that flag waving (UK Jewish people).

The OP could show her sympathy for the Palestinian civilians by doing something that actually helped them like quietly make a donation to a charity.

Well now you know. Not sure why you are speechless.

Because Israel aren't currently having a genocide committed against them and our government isn't supporting Hamas?

In my hometown of origin there were parties held outside waving Palestine flags following the 7th October attack so ofcourse there is a confusion about this. My Jewish friends wouldn't put up Israëlian flags in their garden because they do not want to associate with the atrocities the Netanyahu gouvernment did.

Personally I wouldn't want to socialise with anyone branding English/Palestinian/Israelian flags in their garden because I would interpret it as racist/antisemitic/antiPalestine markers. As for a birthday party I wouldn't discriminate a child because I thought his parents were twats though. My son invited a friend named Jihad when younger and that was fine. I wouldn't invite his parents to my house though.

But that’s not true as the aims of Hamas are the destruction of Jewish people, ie they wish to commit a genocide against them. And before you say it the majority of Palestinians support Hamas.

But Palestine didn't start the war? It didn't all just start 2 years ago.

And quietly giving donations doesn't put pressure on our government to intervene (and personal donations might buy a bit of rice here and there but it won't rebuild every hospital and school thats been bombed to dust) , public outrage lead to the collapse of South African Apartheid. I think thats peoples aim when they show support for Palestine.

Of course Palestine started this war, it was a direct result of the terrorist attack of Jewish civilians.
Everything that happened in the two year war was prompted by that.
If the October barbaric attack had not happened the war would not have happened these last two years.

But they aren't committing genocide, it doesn't matter if the leaders have abhorrent political aims, you put them in front of the hague and put them on trial. As a civilised species we can't murder every last Palestinian as a preventative measure. That's actually monstrous.

You're blaming Palestine for having a political policy that Israel is actually carrying out? If you think Hamas's aims are intolerable why can't you see the IDF's as the same? They're the ones actually doing it.

Right, exactly. You've just contradicted your point and proved mine. It isn't about supporting the civilians, it's about supporting the government. Hamas is a terrorist government that committed the deadliest terrorist attack in Israel's history. During just one of the thousands of attacks on that day, terrorists kidnapped an 8-year-old girl from her home and gang-raped her until her pelvis dislocated. That's the flag you are flying. And if (even though we've discovered it's not) your motivation is to reduce civilian deaths, terrorists that start wars aren't the ones to support.