Is it really a widely held belief that those who dislike animals are dangerous?

[Thesinisterone]

According to dh family it’s a valid concern ?!

I have never wanted pets, not keen on things like zoos or farm trips for the dc. I don’t like the smell of animals (plus I’m allergic to cats!). Really don’t like dogs (I’m scared of them!).

I dont hate animals I just don’t like them and avoid them as much as possible !

According to MIL this is a red flag and she thinks I could have a personality disorder as people who don’t like animals are ‘not quite right’. I did say to her that I just avoid animals it’s not as if I go round kicking puppies or anything ??!! She said ‘everyone agrees and we are all worried we’ve never known anyone who doesn’t like the dogs !’

Is it that strange ? They (dh family) and especially MIL seem very wary of me ??!

I’ve seen the view fairly regularly expressed on MN that people who don’t like animals are cold and dead inside 😆. It’s nonsense of course but some people do like to say it.

A member of my DH’s family once told me that refusing to have a dog made me a bad mother.

Putting my parenting side by side with her’s I’m pretty comfortable that I’m still ahead despite our lack of canine companionship.

Your MIL is BU. I'm a vegetarian and care a lot about animal welfare, but I've never wanted pets and avoid other people's, with the exception of some very calm and elderly dogs. I'm averse to pet smells and being jumped on or scratched/bitten.

I don't think it's a sign of anything in particular.

I love animals and I do sometimes struggle to understand people who don't like them. I probably couldn't have a successful relationship with someone who didn't, for example; we'd just be too different. But I certainly don't think it means someone's dangerous or unpleasant!

If someone is cruel to animals (or just really cold and callous about them) that's a red flag for me. But I wouldn't think badly of someone who just wasn't really interested in animals or had a phobia of them or whatever. Most people I've met who aren't keen on animals would never be cruel to an animal, would never wish harm on one, and would also feel sorry for an animal that was suffering.

Your MIL sounds a bit mad to be honest.

Hating animals would be concerning.

Disliking them, especially if for a good reason, isn’t.

Your MIL is projecting HER failure with HER dogs onto you. A lot easier than actually looking after them properly, training them etc.

Perhaps point out to your MIL that Hitler adored dogs, especially German Shepherds. He kept one of his pets, Blondi, with him to the last in the bunker under Berlin (though he did test the cyanide capsules he used to commit suicide on the dog first)...

I’m suspicious of anyone who doesn’t like dogs.

I was going to mention Hitler - famously loved animals and became a vegetarian and third reich was apparently good on animal rights and even environmntal laws - famously much less good on human rights.

I'd try pointing that out to her - or just tell her outright she being very rude and ignorant - maybe with a breezy tone and smile.

Your DH family are bonkers.

This.
My Lab loved everyone though, apart from one woman I worked with who he just stared at. She was a wrong un, so he was right lol
Not liking them is fine as long as you aren’t cruel to them. Just leave them alone.

Sounds like a you problem.

I didn’t know this ! I have seen that Putin likes dogs and I wouldn’t have said he was the nicest person but I had no idea about Hitler.

To be neutral and disinterested in the idea or commitment of having a pet, or animals as a form of entertainment (zoos etc) is perfectly fine. Or some people even have phobias of certain animals. Again perfectly reasonable.

What people find a red flag is those who seem actively angry with animals, they seem like they'd not empathise with one in pain, not value their life, not treat them with any kindness. Possibly even take pleasure in dominating, hurting or even killing them.

My dog loves everyone but there is one woman we often see on our walks and every single he starts barking at her. He isn't a barky dog so it's very unusual for him. I'd be lying if I said that I hadn't wondered what skeletons are in her closet.

It's a false concern with an ulterior motive.

There are things which in British popuar culture it's compulsory to claim to like - animals being probably pretty close to the top of the list.

Your in-laws have found a way to signal their virtue and your dangerousness using this one handy trope.

Oddly it's culturally completely acceptable in most social groups for people to say that they don't like children, as long as they hurry to claim exceptions of their own and those of close family (or to imply they are joking about disliking those children).

In reality there is nothing morally or psychologically wrong with not liking either children or animals and in both cases equally what matters is simply not actively wishing ill upon animals or children (and of course not harming them).

The faux concern about potential personality disorders is an affectation, although it tells you clearly that they dislike you and have hit on what they think is a genius way to make you look extremely bad whilst making themselves look (they think) like concerned animal lovers - almost a protected characteristic in British popular imagination.

There are a lotvof photos of Hitler posing with his dogs, including a famous one with his cousin-wife just after they got married and just before they committed suicide - whether he genuinely loved them (or was capable of unselfish love) would, I imagine, be impossible to know.

MIL is the weirdo for thinking you're odd.

Nothing wrong in hating, disliking, or being scared of something that could inflict a serious injury or even kill you.

I think she doesn't like you and this is just an excuse.

as someone who doesn’t understand how no one can not like animals (imo missing out big time on so much joy they all bring in their own ways) I do get it that some people just aren’t into them. Its ur choice totally altho ur missing out on soo much that animals can bring to humans and ur mil altho i see how she thinks it, has to accept ur just not that into them. As far as ur question goes, anyone cruel to animals is definitely a dangerous person and should be jailed. For me they are in the same evil bracket as rapists and murderers.

Ffs. Get a grip.

I don’t think people who actively dislike animals (as opposed to mere indifference) are “dangerous”. More just weird. And probably in for a wild ride as the fuckers are everywhere.

Speaking of bumpy rides, sounds like @Thesinisterone might be in for one with her mother-in-law.

Why? What's your reasoning for this?

Psychologist here…

if you were into pulling wings off flies and crushing spiders for pleasure as a small child, making kicking the odd dog = problematic and an indicator of potential problems but only potential.

Btw Hitler was a fervent antivivisectionist and loved dogs, particularly his German Shepherd Blondi. So that blows their theory

This is true, and the cognitive dissonance required to love and adore a pet as a member of the family and eat commercially produced meat (and feed that meat to said house pets in most cases of cats and dogs) suggests the individuals aren't so much animal lovers as sentimental about specific types of animals, or people who love individual animals, the way they love their own family but not all of humanity...

This!!! Shut this line down

I spent ages thinking I was a psychopath because I am indifferent to most animals and hate dogs. You get really bad reactions from some people if you admit this in real life.

However, like you, I hate animal cruelty - I can't even watch pretend animal cruelty in films. So no, disliking animals doesn't make you dangerous or anything like that.