Childminders at soft play

[Hollygolightly89]

I visited a soft play with my 3 year old yesterday morning. There was a group of childminders about 3 or 4 of them and they each had a couple of children. They mostly sat in the baby part of the soft play chatting in a group with their backs turned to the children the whole time and also constantly on their phones, even when the children were eating they were on their phones. Most of the children they had went off into the soft play alone and most of them looked under 2. I was quite shocked by this because if I was paying for a childminder I wouldn’t expect them to be on their phones and my child let loose in the soft play. At various points the children were crying for various reasons and they acted like it was a massive chore to go and get them. I aslo heard them speaking negatively about the children like “oh guess who’s crying again”.

I’m not surprised by this. Having had 2 kids and now a veteran of many local playgroups, I have met 1 child minder who I would be happy to look after my DD.

Saw similar when at soft play years ago. But just because some childminders are crap it doesn’t mean they all are.

Shocking, and if they act like that in public I wouldn’t want to see what they are like in their own homes with these children.

No obviously not, but I was specifically talking about the ones I saw.

I've seen similar here too. It always amuses me on here, that many mumsnetters completely admonish nursery workers yet childminders on here are completely worshipped. I've never met any out and about at groups I'd be happy to leave my kids with either, so many seem completely disinterested.

I think this is very common. I had a 2 child minders for DS - both were dreadful but had good ofsted reports and came recommended...

I am surprised, when my kids were small most of the childminders wouldn't pay to enter soft play centres and preferred mother and toddler groups where you paid for 1 child and others came in for free. The groups were bedlam as the childminders happily chattered and ignored the kids are relied on others to police their brood!

How do you know they were all childminders? Plenty of parents behave like this.

I was chatting to a childminder at a mother and toddlers who proudly told me that she didn’t allow the children to speak on the car. I was horrified.

Sahm here. I have exactly the same experience. From having visited various playgrounds regularly where I live there was 1 childminder (in her fifties) who was lovely and you could see she loved the children by the way she interacted with them. The others all parked their behinds on a bench chatting completely ignoring the children. But then again so did many mums so maybe for some parents that is normal behaviour 🤷‍♀️

The stay and play I used to go to actually started limiting it to parents and other family carers. I assume it was because this tended to happen with the childminders.

Because I was behind them whilst they paid and signed in and they told them they were childminders got a discount for multiple children. Plus the children were of multiple races etc and it was obvious in the way they spoke about the children.

As someone who visited all the playgroups this is very common. One lady who was a child minder was totally different to all the others and it stood out as she interacted with her charges and my dd and other children at the playground in a great way, and I said if ever I needed a child minder I'd have had her. She was fully booked up all the time.

Wait until you see how some of the parents behave!

Sad to say the vast majority of childminders I’ve come across in the 8 years I’ve been a stay at home mum have been similar. I take my daughter to several different toddler groups / soft plays / library sessions and wherever we go the childminders arrive with a big cart of children, unload them at the start and pretty much turn their backs on the children and sit there chatting. Occasionally come over to take a photo and then go back to ignoring them.

I don’t disagree with but, but these are professionals being paid money to watch these children….and they spent the whole time on their phones chatting.

I’m a nanny and I see this at playgroup type settings in particular all the time. I get sick of mopping up the spills and taking care of kids that I’m not responsible for - ie an infant wandering into the loo crying and unsupervised, putting small toys in their mouths, walking round with a full soiled nappy for ages so I have to go and let their carer know or toddlers running amock and snatching from/hitting my charges as they’re not being managed. When I first started going to one particular playgroup there was a big established group of childminders (and a couple of Nannies too to be fair) and they beckoned me over and wanted me to sit and drink coffee and ‘gossip’ about the parents I worked for! I was polite but didn’t join the group (I do sit with a coffee and a bit of small talk with one of the parents, I even check my phone, if ‘my’ twins are happy playing but I’m watching and if they move to another part of the hall, I go with them.

Heard one call me stuck up and that I thought I was better than them 🙄 I don’t care, but for the sake of their charges I wish they’d get off their backsides occasionally.

Tbf this is how most parents act at soft play that I’ve witnessed. I’m not saying I agree with it. If you were in the soft play areas playing with your child how did you manage to witness off all this?

I’ve had 2 childminders. The one for DC1 was perfect, she’s been doing it for 25 years and she’s by the book, I had no complaint cos didn’t bother taking DC to preschool when she was 3, she stayed with her till she went to school and she was well adjusted when she started school at 4 even though she was a summer baby. We moved and the childminder we had for DC2 was dreadful. We had to move her to nursery before she turned 2 and never used one with DC3 after that experience. She was a mom just trying make money whilst looking after her kids and was not cut out for the job. It was awful. She’s closed now.

Ive seen equally as many parents like this as childminders.

I took DD to quite a few local play groups and also found the same. Childminders chatting and leaving non-walking babies unattended on the other side of a village hall. I dont think the parents would have left the positive reviews on the childminders Facebook page that they have if they’d heard the things she said about their children

Yes some parents do this too, but they are not professionals being paid to look after these children.

I was “able to witness” it all because I was there?

Are you a childminder by any chance hun? 😅

Totally, but these are supposed to be professionals getting paid to do a job so not sure how it matters that some parents might do this too.

Maybe she had a 4 year old who was off playing independently? I always went in with mine when they were toddlers - felt like a helicopter parent as many of their peers were happy by about 3 to go off themselves - but as they got older they could manage alone. Soft play would be even worse if every single child was trailed by an adult. And the fact the OP was pondering the childminders' behaviour suggests she was looking around the room, rather than being glued to her phone.

That’s completely different; you aren’t paying them as professionals to provide high quality care.

I am surprised actually as normally on MN childminders are seen as the gold standard and you typically can expect lots of comments about nurseries being ‘institutions’ and staffed by teenage apprentices.

I took my children to a soft play a few months ago. We hadn’t been before and didn’t stay long: it was shabby and run down and the only other people there were a group of childminders who spread out on a table having a nice chat. They clearly knew the staff well and greeted them like old friends.