Childminders at soft play

[Hollygolightly89]

I visited a soft play with my 3 year old yesterday morning. There was a group of childminders about 3 or 4 of them and they each had a couple of children. They mostly sat in the baby part of the soft play chatting in a group with their backs turned to the children the whole time and also constantly on their phones, even when the children were eating they were on their phones. Most of the children they had went off into the soft play alone and most of them looked under 2. I was quite shocked by this because if I was paying for a childminder I wouldn’t expect them to be on their phones and my child let loose in the soft play. At various points the children were crying for various reasons and they acted like it was a massive chore to go and get them. I aslo heard them speaking negatively about the children like “oh guess who’s crying again”.

I’m pretty sure in my first comment I did say I don’t agree with that. Parents or childminders

Mumsnet doctrine is nurseries are akin to Guantanamo detention with felon staff and childminders are homely,stable,big hearted saints
All the cm will rise up telling you its ardest job ever and oh all the paperwork and checks…

The childminders my daughter has used have been wonderful! (As a former nanny and nursery nurse I know I can be judgy)
I did take my granddaughter to soft play quite a lot although I found it quite cliquey and the adults ,parents,totally ignored the children .I felt like I was on duty,rescuing the little ones.
There again, adults need the company of other adults although this should never trump the children's welfare. I'm sorry for OPs experience, children deserve the best care possible.

Absolutely this. My child has a family and is no need of another one or have one replicated. I need childcare to be safe and stimulating.

Of course there are good and bad childminders and good and bad nursery staff. But while of course it's unsettling to hear of shit childminders, I think this thread has been quite a refreshing read to get a balanced view on childcare.

More often than not, whenever nurseries are mentioned on here you will be guaranteed that on the first page someone will post "have you considered a childminder?" and then post after post saying nurseries are awful "institutions" (by people who have no idea what institutionalised care actually is), staffed by teenagers who know nothing about children, children are ignored and their needs aren't met etc etc. While childminders are seen as the gold standard, provide "homely" nurturing 1:1 care despite the fact this is impossible if they have more than one child.

As we've seen here this is far from the case. Nursery/childminder - one isn't better than the other, it's about choosing what you feel is better but it's good to see a reflection that childminders aren't quite the gold standard they are made out to be. Of course some are, just as there are some excellent nurseries.

Hence why I never wanted a childminder. I wanted a setting that wasn’t out and about, those looking after them wouldn’t have their phones and other staff to hold them accountable. I’m sure though there are amazing childminders out there.

And, although it does still happen, in a nursery you have other adults around pretty much all the time keeping an eye on things. I'd like to think that the majority of adults would report a co-worker if they saw them doing something really bad; at a childminder's those kids are often all alone with that adult.

I use nursery for my babies because I want that environment
I don’t want them fitting in around someone else domestic environment, they already have a home

You might say the same about the NHS, church etc. We all know how much reporting goes on there....none

There are childminders that go to all the groups I regularly take my children to. There is only one that I would trust with.

In the summer it took the leader of our forest school around 10 minutes to find the childminder in charge of a baby left crying completely covered by a blanket on a boiling hot day. She had wondered off on her phone. There are two that go to a local soft play who regularly bitch about their charges and don't bother intervening when they are physically hurt or fighting with other children. And I've had to return one toddler that had ran out of the library without his childminder even knowing he was gone.

There are definitely some good childminders out there, but the number of awful ones I've witnessed has put me off for life.

This just isn't true at all. I'm in Scotland and all our nursery staff have to be registered with the the commissioning body and be trained to SVQ level 3. None of them are there because they failed their qualifications and in fact my child's nursery has a large age range of staff.

Similarly there are childminders out there are who do it for the love of children and certainly aren't thick. What a horrible judgmental post.

Not all are crap, but it is a job women do when they lack qualifications, like being a beautician, hairdresser or dog groomer. No one, even themselves, expect much, certainly not a career.

I'm sorry but this has annoyed me!

Most Childminders have Early Years qualifications (not to mention first aid, food hygiene etc) and undertake continuous child development training alongside doing the job. We also often invest our free time ensuring we stay up to date on all SEN and Safeguarding changes.

My mindees are happy and well looked after. Sometimes to the detriment of my own family time. I take my job very seriously, as being entrusted with other people's children is such a huge responsibility.

I appreciate there are indeed Childminders as you describe. But it's only some of us. Please don't tar us all with the same brush!

I saw this at a local toddler group. A wee boy (1ish) was crying and the childminder made a fool of him and then laughed and joked about him to anyone who would listen. Never made any attempt to comfort the poor boy. Was too busy chatting to other childminders. It was awful. I made it clear I was disgusted by them but also wish I done more - not sure what.

Whilst that's wrong, parents aren't being paid, nor are they Ofsted rated.

It doesn't surprise me, sadly. I've seen the same thing often over the years.
The defense of this is weird too. You wouldn't excuse a teacher for doing a shoddy job just because some parents do, in fact plenty of you would be foaming at the mouth. Childminders are being paid to actually take care of children, interact with them and nurture them.

This makes me sad. I was a childminder for 16 years. I absolutely loved it and only stopped due to Covid meaning families were unable to attend. I treated children in my care the same as I would my own and also took them to a variety of groups and activities. I never had to advertise as I was very visable in the community and families booked spaces that way. I am still in contact with many families and some of the children are now parents themselves.
Sadly I did see poor practice from others. There was a post put on a local facebook group showing a photo of 2 childminders sat on their phones not engaging with children. You can report concerns to Ofsted if you can get the names of a childminder you have concerns about.

I think perhaps it is partly as you were at soft play.

I take my children to soft play when they have more energy than me and need to blow off some steam! I only follow the youngest (just turned 2, but will do her damndest to follow big siblings into the 5+ area if I blink!). I see child minders who are also there to let their charges blow off steam, and yes, they tend to be having a good natter with each other. I dont think chatting is a problem as they often still have an eye on the younger ones. On phones would be a different matter as it means youre looking down.

I go to other groups as well, some of which I've been at for 9 years (ive got 4 DC, so not the same child throughout). Where there is a specific activity e.g. bounce and rhyme at the library the childminders are fully interacting and singing along/closely supervising. For the church group they have a good chat during the free play phase, but then they do the singing/stories/crafts in a very engaged way.

I have a nanny rather than a childminder (because I have multiple DC) and I suggest (and pay for) activities for her to attend with DC. I dont mind the occasional tript to soft play though, where I assume she'll have a more relaxed time.

I assume those people with a childminder have discussed activities with them?

I don’t understand posters saying that parents do this too.
That’s irrelevant.

If you’re paying someone to do a service, you expect them to do it properly.

Even if you were watching someone’s kids for free, you would still be more on the ball than if it was your own kid.

My childminder was awful when it came to being on her phone.
This was back when Facebook and candy crush was more of a thing and it would log when she was playing. She would also constantly posts on her Facebook and share things on it.
She was awful but I was a single mum and desperate and no other childcare was available.
If I could go back in time and change things then I would because I can’t believe I actually used her.

Yes the defence is so strange. In what other profession could someone ignore what they were supposed to be doing and sit on their phones all day and it be considered fine.

I was going to say, I’ve seen many threads like this and they can go either way, depending on who happens to post.

Same here at all the playgroups I go to - I would never use a childminder for this reason

But even if they lack qualifications, these jobs require skills and training that I as a degree educated person couldn't do.

I'm not sure if you meant it in your post, but I can't stand the looking down on women or that their jobs aren't as valuable or are "less than" because they don't require a degree. I certainly couldn't hack being a childminder looking after kids all day long. And I certainly require the skills of a hairdresser! Many people choose to pursue these jobs due a love or passion in the area. Let's not start looking down on them just because they don't have a degree.

I really hate this narrative that just because someone isn’t academically capable that they are thick and that somehow equals poor behaviour.

Knowing the ins and outs of Romeo and Juliet or photosynthesis, has absolutely no bearing on whether someone is a decent person or well they can do their job.

There are lots of people, especially nursery workers, who choose to work with kids because they love them and they do a better job than people who are more qualified and think that sort of work is beneath them.

Some childminders do it so that they can stay home with their own kids and not have to get a proper job.
But some do it because they love children and would rather be their own boss than work for a company.

In the past I have thought about being a childminder and I have also worked in rescue centres. I am intelligent and did it purely because I really wanted to. I only don’t do these sorts of jobs because they are low paid and unfortunately the bills come first.

I had one who would lock the toys away, dd didn't stay long there.
In comparison, I had one who set her while attic up as a Nursery, and another who I'm still friends with 17 years on, she's a teacher now.
In my experience, the best ones did a few years while their own kids were youngish then continued to progress their careers, another I had is now a community midwife. Toy-lock-away-er is still a cm.

All Jobs need a level of skill and all jobs are important and worthy. Just because someone doesn’t have a degree doesn’t mean they aren’t a professional at their craft. Some childminders will be neglectful but also that applies for some doctors/lawyers/ etc too.