Childminders at soft play

[Hollygolightly89]

I visited a soft play with my 3 year old yesterday morning. There was a group of childminders about 3 or 4 of them and they each had a couple of children. They mostly sat in the baby part of the soft play chatting in a group with their backs turned to the children the whole time and also constantly on their phones, even when the children were eating they were on their phones. Most of the children they had went off into the soft play alone and most of them looked under 2. I was quite shocked by this because if I was paying for a childminder I wouldn’t expect them to be on their phones and my child let loose in the soft play. At various points the children were crying for various reasons and they acted like it was a massive chore to go and get them. I aslo heard them speaking negatively about the children like “oh guess who’s crying again”.

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/article/2024/jun/13/lancashire-childminder-who-killed-baby-in-her-care-jailed-for-12-years-and-seven-months?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other

I’m not doing the prove it game. from practice I will tell you It’s an unfortunate truism child statistically at risk of abuse in Family setting. Parent or step parents , family member are unfortunately likely to be a perpetrator. In particular a non birth new partner being introduced in family

Child SA is almost always done by males. Yes this can be a parent, family, friend or boyfriend but the key factor is access rather than relation. That cohort of people are likely to have unfettered and easy access to the child hence why they may be over represented as a stat however without you providing a stat to support it you shouldn’t make sweeping statements like that. To suggest that nurseries are safer than a child’s own home when it comes to CSA is a massive cope. Nurseries are a necessity and provide a perfect setting for all sorts of abuse to take place, neglect and just a terrible setting for children and babies all together.

Nurseries are a necessity and provide a perfect setting for all sorts of abuse to take place, neglect and just a terrible setting for children and babies all together.

I’ve no idea what sort of nurseries you have been into, but the one my children attend(ed) certainly isn’t. I wouldn’t have sent my child somewhere that wasn’t.

This is honestly so sad . Im a childminder and i work myself to the bone . We dont visit soft play alot or playgroups we are out exploring the woods, collecting sticks and leafs for our crafts , on rain day we go out jumping in puddles ect . The children are the whole point of my job, we do visits to the supermarket or farmer market so the little one can see any new fruit or veg they may want to try. We meet up with other local childminder as this help our little ones to be able to make more memories.

I would most definitely have gone over and asked them to pay more attention to the little ones.

I just hope people know not all childminders are the same. I hope you get to see other childminders in action.

Easily said when you have the luxury of choice.

I’ve also temped in nurseries so I’ve seen a lot! It’s a real mixed bag. Most are just ‘ok’ really and the majority of the staff do their best up against long hours, shite pay, constant staffing issues and poor management. The only one I considered very good was an expensive Montessori in an affluent area, everything was made of wood and they had cleaners in every day so it was spotless, and the teacher to child ratio was well higher than the minimum.

In all nurseries staff have good days and bad days. I’ve only reported one as she kept saying how hungover she was and telling the toddlers to shut up, and spent her shift lying half asleep in the book corner. She absolutely only did the job as it was a paid option available locally to someone who wasn’t very clever academically. She had no love or interest in it whatsoever and openly said how boring it was to be around children.

However I mainly come across older women who are mums themselves doing it as a lot of nurseries offer a 50% discount to employees who send their own children to the nursery. It’s the only thing that’s ever made me consider doing it full time.

1. You cannot generalise thousands of hardworking, professional childminders because of a tiny minority.

The vast majority do an excellent job every single day. Judging an entire profession based on one moment you saw in a soft play is unfair and inaccurate.

1. Childminders know the children in their care incredibly well.

They are trained, experienced and understand children’s behaviour, development and needs — often more objectively than the child’s own parent can in a single quick glance. Children don’t need an adult glued to them every second. They need space to explore, learn independence, manage emotions and play freely. Unless you directly witnessed a child being put in serious danger (which is extremely rare — statistically far more accidents happen in nurseries), then making accusations online is unnecessary.

1. Childminders work alone, with no colleagues, no lunch break, no HR, no backup and often no adult conversation all day.

So seeing a group of childminders chatting for a few minutes — while their children are safe, playing, happy and supervised — is not negligent. It’s human. And it’s allowed. No child was in danger, at risk, distressed or left in an unsafe situation.

Before posting judgement online, it’s worth remembering that a five-second Snapchat view rarely shows the full context or the reality of what’s happening.

THIS IS A POST FOR THE PERSON WHO HAS PUT THE POST AND OUT CHILDMINDERS IN SOFT PLAY AND FOR THOSE WHO AGREE WITH HER!
That would be like saying: “I went to the GP several times and 4–5 different doctors only told me to take paracetamol. Later I was diagnosed with something serious — therefore all GPs in England must be rubbish.”
It doesn’t make sense, right?

1. You cannot generalise thousands of hardworking, professional childminders because of a tiny minority.

The vast majority do an excellent job every single day. Judging an entire profession based on one moment you saw in a soft play is unfair and inaccurate.

1. Childminders know the children in their care incredibly well.

They are trained, experienced and understand children’s behaviour, development and needs — often more objectively than the child’s own parent can in a single quick glance. Children don’t need an adult glued to them every second. They need space to explore, learn independence, manage emotions and play freely. Unless you directly witnessed a child being put in serious danger (which is extremely rare — statistically far more accidents happen in nurseries), then making accusations online is unnecessary.

1. Childminders work alone, with no colleagues, no lunch break, no HR, no backup and often no adult conversation all day.

So seeing a group of childminders chatting while their children are safe, playing, happy and supervised s not negligent. It’s human. And it’s allowed. No child was in danger, at risk, distressed or left in an unsafe situation.

Before posting judgement online, it’s worth remembering that a short Snapchat view rarely shows the full context or the reality of what’s happening.
Go and ask school nurseries how well developed children are overall if they come from childminders as opposed to those who have never been to one and and then you will have the answer!

I think there are enough of us who have seen the same sort of scenario repeatedly to say it’s a problem. It isn’t just limited to childminders and of course most of us (me included) want to believe that the setting we use is professional and our children are thriving.

I think it’s probably going to be an issue until we start viewing caring for young children with the respect it deserves.

Well I don’t consider having my child in the care of someone who isn’t likely to let them come to harm is job well done to be honest, it’s an extremely low bar! I do expect them to notice when my child’s nappy needs changing, stop them from lamping other children or intervene fairly if they are the lamper, I do expect supervision when eating, I do expect them to be engaged and interested and help my child if they need a hand up the slide etc etc. And actually a lot of small children DO need an adult on hand in these spaces, not as glue but as someone to help them, comfort, assist and advocate for them whenever necessary.

A lot of childminders get away with the above because the parents only hear what the childminder tells them or the pictures they are sent.

I also (as a nanny) work with no break or adult interaction most days but it’s not like I didn’t have a choice of what progression I went into, you make it sound like childcarers are working in an incarnation facility.

Enough of us on the thread have first hand witness accounts of what the OP described in the very first post. Go to any soft play or playgroup provision or park Monday-Friday during working hours and before long you’ll probably see it yourself.

I am a good nanny but I know there are plenty of rubbish ones. To deny that would be stupid.

These threads just go round in circles. ( tomorrow they’ll be a thread about how disappointed a parent is with nursery because little Johnny has been bitten 3 times in a week )
The truth is, no parent will ever know exactly what goes on all day everyday, whether the child is in nursery, with a childminder, or a nanny. They’ll never know because they’re not there.
The vast majority of children in childcare are looked after well I’m sure ( or at least adequately )

Not a popular view? It seems to be the most prevalent view it seems to be when it comes to nurseries on here.

And do you actually know what the definition of institutional care is? When you refer to institutional care it means large residential settings, where people live or stay in large numbers, with low staff ratios to people and lack of personalised care. Institutions are routine and structured that is is based on the needs of the service not the people.

People who have institutional care are people who live in large residential care homes or psychiatric wards. A child who wakes up and goes to bed with their family and spends a few hours at nursery is not receiving institutional care. Nurseries are not institutions. Someone where they have free play, a choice of activities that can they choose to partake in and where for example their sleep routine is based on their home one is not an institution and its the height of ignorance to suggest otherwise.

The research isn't clear into the long term impact of cortisol in babies due to the fact there are so many other indicators that impact on mental health. And most of the research indicates that it is poor quality care at nurseries that are the primary problem.

Yes children going to nurseries isn't the same as hunter gather society and how we evolved. But equally a women being the main caregiver as a stay at home mum isn't the natural order of things either. Too often you read of mums who are burnt out, depressed, unhappy and exhausted with no support network, parenting on their own for large chunks of the day because as society we are told it's in the best interest of the child to be at home when really children don't benefit from exhausted, depressed parents. As we have moved on in society and don't have that village or tribe around us, many of us now need to pay for it.

And yes abuse can happen at nursery but it is rare. It's well known the overwhelming amount of child abuse cases happen at home by someone known to the child.

Some babies do such long hours in nurseries (and have all their meals there) that it could almost be considered a residential care. I know of parents who leave them there even after they finish work so that they don’t have to feed them dinner. They are just taken home to sleep.

Not all of us stay at home parents are exhausted and depressed. I had what is considered a high-flying career but it never fulfilled me like being with my children does.

I think this is sooooo common and made me so glad I did not use a childminder!
I go out to play centres/ parks/ groups most weeks and have rarely seen a childminder who I would be comfortable looking after my children.

Ive seen some quite concerning things too where children are ignored crying, told to stop crying, being allowed to eat food from strangers. The list goes on xx

I told my children to stop crying regularly. As for being allowed to eat food from strangers? Wtf , how would you know they are strangers?

And a childminder that a friend of mine used has just been struck off because she allowed unvetted men into the house while she was working, gave them full access to the children, and now an accusation has been made by one of the children in her care. Completely horrible for all parents. It can happen anywhere.

You may tell your own children to stop crying but I’m sure a lot of parents feel the same as me and don’t find this appropriate and definitely isn’t from an external care provider.

there was a child recently at the park who was with a childminder, she spoke to me as a child in her care was taking food off my children. She said this was okay and continued for him to eat my girls Pringles and sandwich. I did not have an issue with this but she definitely should have done

I expected my childminder to tell DD to stop crying as well

good for you

Well one of mine was very good at turning on the waterworks . Didn't want that encouraged

It takes 2 years of training and college (with qualifications at the end) to be a hairdresser

Nursery workers need 2 years of college to get an early years qualification (NVQ or BTEC I would guess)

I'm not being demeaning, not at all, and being a good hairdresser is not only skilled, it can lead to huge earnings for the most skilled. Like being a chef, you can be a chip shop cook or Rick Stein. I'm suggesting you can start without a degree.

My childminder and childminders she works around are absolutely amazing and I am extremely happy to have found her. My children love going there and when asked always say best part of their day was when they are at hers. Your reasons and Snapchat do not prove anything about the whole population of amazing childminders