DDs phone is off/dead should I worry?

[Clerenty]

DD is 17, we are Scottish so she is already at uni, her birthday is in February. She moved to London for uni.

I messaged her at 5pm, she told me she would call me when she got home at 6/6.30pm. I haven’t heard since and when I message her on WhatsApp it one ticks, when I try to call it goes straight to voicemail.

I know I’m probably panicking unnecessarily but she was pretty clear about not having any plans tonight and it wouldn’t be like her to have her phone off, if her phone dies she usually charges it back pretty quickly and always takes her battery pack with her.

DH thinks I am being dramatic and if we haven’t heard from her by the morning we should worry but she might just be busy with friends.

AIBU to be worried?

I just think its strange that people talk about them like they are children.

17 is quite old

Totally understand your worry. I would call the police even if they say leave it a bit longer. When my dd went missing they got patrol cars that were already out to keep an eye out for her. Second all the other posters saying they always turn up somewhere but it doesn’t help you right now.

She probably met someone and went out for the evening and her phone died. Incidentally, my phone battery died once without warning when I was visiting London so I was not contactable.

This happens all the time, but the not knowing is pure agony.

Yeah , ancient. She's a child and that's that. I'm going to assume you aren't a parent

I would wait till the morning x x

Sorry I've just seen your updates - will teach me to RTFT.
I know she's only 17, but I too was that 17 year old, off to Uni, and a bit of freedom from perceived over-protective parents. I did some daft things, but 99.9% of them, I was with pals. Thankfully it was before mobiles, so I couldn't be located....
However, that's neither here nor there in this case. You've left messages where you can. Maybe she's dropped and broken her phone, or had it stolen, even. Then gone off out and forgotten all about calling her Mum.
I really wish the best outcome for you all.

She is not a child.

She is a minor.

There is a difference

She's still a child, of course they should!

Op i'm dropping off so saying a small prayer for a positive update tomorrow morning xx

I do think that mobile phones have made things worse for both parents and teenagers

Oh my goodness, this is worrying. My DCs can track each other on Snap Chat, can your DS do the same? I am not allowed to track of course but it's good to know that someone can if needed.

I don't think you're being dramatic at all, I have an 18 year old and I'd feel exactly the same as you. I think if it gets to midnight ring the uni again, if they still can't locate her and none of her friends have seen her then I'd call the police.

I am going to try to apply Occam's razor.
Thursday is traditionally the day that students go out. She probably attended some party, got drunk and her phone died out. She is probably sleeping in some mate's house.

Also when you do get in touch with her I'd try and persuade her to let you have the location back on with the promise that you won't look at it unless you're really worried.

I don't think you're being dramatic at all. Its a dreadful feeling. I maintain that parenting older teens and young adults is far more anxiety inducing than the younger years ever were.

Even if logically you know she'll be fine and there will be an explanation for it, it doesn't stop that stomach churning fear until you hear from them.

I hope that comes soon for you.

Thursdays are the big student nights out.

As a lot of students go home to families on Fridays.

A lot of 17 year olds have fake IDs

You're not being dramatic! My DD is just coming up to 17 and I would 100% be the same. You know your daughter. You know if it's out of character. Fingers crossed she's just been daft and with friends / battery died / the usual. But you know if it doesn't feel right. Thinking of you.

Yeah, well those of us with a brain and a heart know that for a parent it doesn't matter what label their child/ minor/ young person/ dependant has.

Yup, you feel that - but, at Uni, they're independent young adults.

All Unis I've worked in (4, in England and Scotland),have had this policy. Many young people are estranged from family, etc. - and how would someone on a Halls Reception know that you're a well-meaning parent, and not an abusive ex, or the like.
Honestly, it's for the safety of the students.

But, hence why we will say all this to the enquirer, and get straight onto the student, to say 'call your Mum!!'

Oh thank goodness I think we’ve located her.

The girl DS was messaging says she messaged a group chat and a boy has replied saying she is with him and asked her to send through our number so DD can call us, as she doesn’t remember our number. We’ve just given our number to the girl through DS and are waiting for the call!

Does she have an iPhone or an Android phone? Do you know her iCloud or Google passwords or would your DS know them? These are ways I've tracked people before. For an iPhone 11 or later that has been turned off before running completely out of power, it would potentially still be location traceable.

Great news!!

Oh op thank God! What a relief ❤️

Tell her she had the internet worried as well as her parents! 😄

Glad its all okay xx

Can you try this? I don’t know if your DD has an iPhone? Different phones must have ways of doing this if you google it.

You can find the location of a dead iPhone by checking the last known location in the Apple Support Find My app or on iCloud.com/find. For up to seven days, the Find My app will display the last place the phone was able to report its location. The iCloud.com/find website will only show the last known location for up to 24 hours after the phone turns off.
How to check the last known location

1. Go to the Find My app on another Apple device or visit *iCloud.com/find* on any web browser.
2. Sign in with your Apple ID.
3. Select your iPhone from the list of devices.
4. The map will display the last location where the phone was online.
5. A message will indicate when that location was last sent.

That’s good. I can go to bed now.