Would you class this as flirting? DH with shop assistant

[Bex39]

DH is adamant I am being OTT and he was just being polite but I disagree. Please help settle this for me.

We were in a shop which sells chocolate and he was at the till with me next to him.

Shop assistant - those (the chocolates DH was buying) are my favourites

DH - I would eat so much chocolate if I worked here

SA - tell me about it, I can’t help myself with the samples

DH - you couldn’t tell by your figure

SA - you are being too kind

DH - seriously, you are in great ‘nick’

SA - laughs

Er, you said he's 54 not 84.

has he got some kind of cognitive issue? because the 50 year olds I know are fully integrated with modern times

Is this a local in joke or something ? Please explain !

Why do women still have to put up with this shit?
Your husband is a misogynist pig.

Don't be so bloody ridiculous. He's only 54. He's simply a disgusting misogynistic scrote who needs to clean up his act and grow a decent personality

Agreed. The updates have jumped the shark. And posted when it gets quiet.

Its clear op dont like her husband very much.
I mean i dont know how i would feel slagging my partner off online and have other people calling him all sorts.
And all he done was a shit comment to a worker.
What if your husband done this come online and got random people calling you names bulling you, because you said a man looked good.

Its like the thread of the man at the cinema alone no one knew him yet he was a pedo a skank disgusting pig for sitting in a cinema alone.
I see it time and time again on here sheer bulling at men.
So many threads like this.

We was not with you so we dont know what tone he was using.
But i do know if it was me and i found out my partner done this, id be bloody hurt to know they allow random strangers on the net to say such hurtful things about me.

Tbh it would have made my day i always get called fatty and bullied most of your life because of your size.
To have someone say something nice to you even if it is via a stranger its nice, even with his wife there id think fuck me your a lucky woman.

Not flirting at all so that wouldnt bother me, but I would say unpleasant for the SA who likely just wanted to get on with her job and not have her body commented on by a random man. Have worked in customer facing roles previously and men like this are the absolute worst imo

It’s really not nice that you’ve experienced bullying, and I get why a kind comment might feel welcome after that. But that doesn’t make it OK for random men to comment on women’s bodies just because they find them appealing.

And honestly, if my partner felt the need to compliment another woman’s body in front of me, I wouldn’t be feeling particularly lucky.

Ew. That's gross. Definitely flirting, and she was definitely being polite and felt uncomfortable.

He was trying to flirt, he was actually letching. He’s an old letch. Can you imagine what he does when you’re not there. He didn’t make her day. He’s just another old letch to her.

snd my husband whose the same age range would not do this. He’s simply not that creepy.

If it helps*, I'm younger than the shop assistant by the sounds of it and my first thought was something along the lines of 'eww sleazy old man nooo'. Worked in a shop from age 16-18 and I'm very familiar with the type. Felt like I was constantly on display and being appraised and I did not find it flattering. I just wanted to get on with work. Honestly, I immediately pictured a very young shop assistant and was kind of glad to read she was very much an adult, though that still doesn't make it ok. And in front of you too - disrespectful!

It sounds like his first compliment was just about ok, but the second was too much. No. She's there to work, not decoration, just waiting for a man to come along and voice his approval.

I fear many men will never grasp what this feels like though. It's almost dehumanising, even if the intention is being nice.

*Not that it's ok to denigrate and disregard the opinions and feelings of older women! I just meant that women of all ages would agree with you. I want him to be forced to read the book Hags, it was eye-opening for me. Older women have been through life and know what they're talking about, but of course some people like to shut them down with the 'oh it's only a JEALOUS, silly old woman talking'.

Compliments are nice to have.
Shes lucky to me to have a man that dont call every other woman fat or chiny etc, just so his wife dont think hes flirting.
I see someone wearing a hat but no smile on their face ill say oohh nice hat or your hat looks warm. Same as women Ill say nice bottoms they suit you may i ask where you got them.

Just being nice nowdays people will take offence to it.

Seriously MN need to get a grip on ridiculous posters like this. It’s like being on some kind of weird inarticulate Reddit these days.

@Bex39 Id feel like him to be honest knowing what others are saying about me online id feel crap.
It would make me wonder in silence is this the first time you have gone online to slag me off.

You can tell ive been through this lol.

OP I think his generation does play a big part here. I am an ex-athlete, now I weight train.

It’s always men in their mid 50s and upwards who make remarks on my body in the most casual setting and manner (ladies too, but I don’t mind from them!) Men my age would definitely think twice and choose their timing. I don’t know how much comfort that gives you, maybe he really does deludedly thinks he’s been normal?

Regardless, saying it infront of you especially is out of order. I imagine the sales assistant was mortified on your behalf and didn’t know what to say.

Lol MN and many users on here need to get a grip and stop bullying people.
Your being ridiculous if you man was slagging you off online you would not be pleased about it.

Creepy.

Ugh that’s pretty gross and the poor shop assistant was probably cringing inside! I’d tell him after that it’s totally inappropriate to make any comments on another person ‘s body, not even a compliment.

@Sherzingaaaaa I have to agreed with @Tryingtolikeyou i would not like it either.

Why are you @‘ing me?

if you feel akin to posters like that then….you do you

Ewww in front of you too it’s disrespectful! 😩😩😩

Sounds like you were quite the bully yourself. To your sister.

Its just a comment to say i agree calm down.

Just don’t comment unsolicited on anyone else’s body. It’s just 🤢 for so many reasons.