Would you class this as flirting? DH with shop assistant

[Bex39]

DH is adamant I am being OTT and he was just being polite but I disagree. Please help settle this for me.

We were in a shop which sells chocolate and he was at the till with me next to him.

Shop assistant - those (the chocolates DH was buying) are my favourites

DH - I would eat so much chocolate if I worked here

SA - tell me about it, I can’t help myself with the samples

DH - you couldn’t tell by your figure

SA - you are being too kind

DH - seriously, you are in great ‘nick’

SA - laughs

huh?

What is the value of a male friendship? What is the value of any friendship?

What a most bizarre question?

what are they getting from you as a friend that they would not be able to get from their mates? I don't know about you, but I am brilliant, so any of my male and female friends are lucky to have me 😂

What does this mean ? Put it smell in gas ?

Yes I just had a look - apparently males and females being friends - EVER - is inappropriate. With the caveat of if one is gay. Obvs

Any woman using a sex toy is a pervert, as you referenced

Women should always appreciate men’s comments, full stop.

agree with your diagnosis!

or a saddo who has been missing out on amazing sex all their life, and has grown bitter and twisted instead

You're not wrong.

Is this even real? I would just embarrass him and tell him to put his tongue back in his head.

It flirting but very in appropriate. I would not be amused if I was on the receiving end of that.

Non thinking sleaziness. Likely the intention to flirt was absent. The kind of interaction from another age - you simply cannot say such unguarded things any longer.

The only response to this is “eew, how creepy and clueless” then show pity.

He’s very creepy. Imagine what he might say when you’re not there?? He sounds like one of those misogynistic men who thinks women can’t wait to hear what he thinks about them.

It’s so inappropriate to comment on
a person’s looks, anyway, whatever the situation.

He seems to think a lot of himself.

hahahahahahahaha

DH - you couldn’t tell by your figure
DH - seriously, you are in great ‘nick’

Seriously does he not know not to comment on someone's body shape?
Whether the comments are good or bad, Not only is it inappropriate it creepy and sleazy. It didnt make her day... she thought he was a sleaze

This would give me the ick.

Having worked in retail and hospitality, I can say with confidence that comments like that aren’t harmless or flattering - they’re just awkward. There’s this assumption that because you’re serving someone, you’re fair game for unsolicited remarks about your body. You’re part of the service, so apparently it’s fine to be objectified.

Let’s be honest, he wouldn’t say the same thing to a female doctor, solicitor or senior colleague. He knows it would be inappropriate there. So why is it okay when it’s a young woman behind a counter?

Same applies to women who comments to male bartenders @ThatChristmasMug

"You're in good nick"? LMAO well if that is his version of flirting you dont have anything to worry about, he's crap at it lol

Unnecessary to make the comment about how she looks whether you were there or not! My friends husband is like this but it’s the norm for him. Everything is an innuendo. He did also have an affair so make of that what you will!

If he seriously thinks his randy old git act has ‘made her day’ then you should burst his high-opinion-of-himself bubble. I wish you could bottle the confidence these losers have in themselves. Pathetic.

I read today that, in a survey, 13% of men thought they could beat Serena Williams at tennis….

@Asunciondeflata friends? I chuckled

I think we have to take account that his blunder happened in a chocolate shop.
Her comment about liking those specific chocolates is difficult to reply to in the moment. Do you say something like, "oh yes they're good aren't they?" Or do you have a stupid moment and say something along the lines that he did regarding chocolates equalling weight gain.

Without hearing the tone of how it was said, it could be a blunder rather than creepy leering.

I work retail and the creeps get an eye roll afterwards and I'll sometimes tell the story to my family (in the same way I tell them about Karens.) But I'm lucky to never have had someone who makes me feel in danger.

I wouldn't be that bothered about his comment tbh. It wasn't a sexual comment and she probably gets that same sort of comment from both genders every day.

I’ve offered to show DH the replies on here, but apparently we’re all a bunch of miserable middle aged women and he couldn’t care less!

He got two goals from the situation. The joy of provoking a reaction in OP and being the customer in a possible purchase of expensive goods whilst the young woman trying to act professional and hide her distain behind the laugh. Happens lots. Next time he pulls that stunt don't react say out loudly to her with a smile "His time is done, you need rich, young and handsome" and make sure he hears.

He is, of course, Dorian Gray.

This happened to me routinely when I was late teens/twenties. I thought the same then as I do now. Embarrassing.

Ah, so just a bog standard misogynist?

He’s a bit young for that line, old before his time clearly.

I’m almost sure you’re trolling at this point OP, but either way I feel sorry for you.

Stop making excuses for him. The world changes. If you get on a plane he can’t smoke anymore. Things change.

If one of my team told me a customer had said that I’d happily throw him out.