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AIBU?

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Original poster

Would you class this as flirting? DH with shop assistant

385 replies

Bex39 · 12/11/2025 17:07

DH is adamant I am being OTT and he was just being polite but I disagree. Please help settle this for me.

We were in a shop which sells chocolate and he was at the till with me next to him.

Shop assistant - those (the chocolates DH was buying) are my favourites

DH - I would eat so much chocolate if I worked here

SA - tell me about it, I can’t help myself with the samples

DH - you couldn’t tell by your figure

SA - you are being too kind

DH - seriously, you are in great ‘nick’

SA - laughs

OP posts:
Thatweegirl · 13/11/2025 23:32

BlueDwarf · 13/11/2025 19:39

Perhaps because some of us middle aged women were once that young girl working in retail/services.

We know what it is like, having to hold your tongue when some old pervert makes a comment about your body, and worse, thinks they are doing you a favour by doing so, or risk losing your job. Like their oh so original witless prattling hasn't been heard a thousand times before.

The memories of having to weakly smile or brush off the 'compliments' of a slobbering old fool has made some of us rather protective of the younger girls coming up now.

Show quote history

Exactly this. I have often thought that one benefit of being old and fat now is that I don't have to put up with this type of behaviour any more.

Cob81 · 13/11/2025 23:49

Bex39 · 12/11/2025 20:11

I’ve offered to show DH the replies on here, but apparently we’re all a bunch of miserable middle aged women and he couldn’t care less!

He thought he was flirting, he was just being creepy and he’s embarrassed coz he knows it now, men that age HATE hearing their behaviour was not attractive, especially when it’s towards women a fair bit younger than them and convince themselves the women “love it” 😳 I don’t think I’ve ever seen a well dressed, young looking for his age, fit, very attractive older man talk to women like this, it’s usually the typical, overweight or middle spread, starting to balding (or bald) not exactly trendy dressed, married man who does it….have I any of his description accurate or is he what I described first? 😂

Munkyfuzzable · 13/11/2025 23:57

Dweetfidilove · 12/11/2025 19:10

Some women like when men 'appreciate ' their great figure, some find it repulsive; so who knows how she took it 🤷🏾‍♀️.

There's no flirting though. Overstepping, perhaps. Flirting, no.

But he shouldn’t do it at all!

kennycat · 14/11/2025 00:40

oh gawd that is really slimey!! please advise your husband to stop this behaviour!!

CelestialCandyfloss · 14/11/2025 00:48

54 is not a 'different era'. I'm 51 and would think that was awful if any man in my age group would say something like that. My Dad is 75 and he'd never say anything like that. He's just completely disrespectful and gross, the poor woman was probably cringing. Customer service is hard work.

shhblackbag · 14/11/2025 00:50

How inappropriate. He sounds cringe.

Todayismyfavouriteday · 14/11/2025 01:10

Sleazy, and very disrespectful to you. Yuck.

Franjipanl8r · 14/11/2025 01:35

The ”you’re in good nick” comment would give me the ick.

Thistlewoman · 14/11/2025 02:09

Bex39 · 12/11/2025 17:19

I put it to DH that she was likely embarrassed to which he said he thinks he made her day!

Show quote history

He's 54 and he thinks he made her day??? I think he's deluded -as well as sleazy.
i bet she rolled her eyes and took the piss out of the silly old fool as soon as he walked out of the shop!!

Darlingx · 14/11/2025 07:02

Unfiltered comments just make men sound old and Crass . If its flirting its cac handed and base .
We have all had to smile through gritted teeth and surely not have to put up with this as part of our job. The wolf is mainly in sheep’s clothing these days but you get the odd flasher .

berightorbehappy · 14/11/2025 08:14

I’m not sure why people are splitting hairs between flirting and being inappropriate/ sleazy ? It’s wrong to talk to another female like this in front of your partner ! It’s wrong towards the assistant who is just doing her job and doesn’t need comments on her figure , and it’s embarrassing for you as it shows you’re married a fool with no judgement . Sure he’s not a bad man but remind him he’s living in 2025 and his comments weren’t ok.

SoldOutAgain · 14/11/2025 08:20

What a sleaze.

GreatFish · 14/11/2025 08:23

Is he trying to prove something to himself or to you.He totally embarrassed himself as well as you and shop assistant.

JellyCatOnAHotTinRoof · 14/11/2025 09:27

In great nick! Like a used car! I wouldn’t be able to look him in the eye from second hand embarrassment!

shhblackbag · 14/11/2025 09:36

JellyCatOnAHotTinRoof · 14/11/2025 09:27

In great nick! Like a used car! I wouldn’t be able to look him in the eye from second hand embarrassment!

Exactly! He's embarrassing himself.

Julimia · 14/11/2025 12:03

Oh good heavens this is just spur of the moment banter. VeryOTT find something worthwhile to worry about.

KWaldron · 14/11/2025 13:40

Bex39 · 12/11/2025 17:07

DH is adamant I am being OTT and he was just being polite but I disagree. Please help settle this for me.

We were in a shop which sells chocolate and he was at the till with me next to him.

Shop assistant - those (the chocolates DH was buying) are my favourites

DH - I would eat so much chocolate if I worked here

SA - tell me about it, I can’t help myself with the samples

DH - you couldn’t tell by your figure

SA - you are being too kind

DH - seriously, you are in great ‘nick’

SA - laughs

He's being creepy. The shop assistant was being pleasant, in a professional manner, to a customer. For example, Hotel Chocolat staff are notably warm and friendly, which is clearly a company rule. She said nothing remotely flirtatious. Your DH, like dozens of men she has to interact with every week, was disrespectful to her in assuming she was fllirting, and disrespectful to you for parading his attraction to another woman in front of you.

Sadly, just one more typical bloody man.

Wordsmithery · 14/11/2025 14:02

If that's his best chat up line I don't think you're in much danger, OP. But ugh what a creep.

HRTQueen · 14/11/2025 14:23

your post made me think thank god I no longer have to deal with sleazy men thinking they have a chance

he was being a creep and the sa was being polite

JudgeJ · 14/11/2025 16:12

weusedtobeapropercountry · 13/11/2025 19:52

What kind of "she was asking for it" twattery is that? 😂

No, of I make polite conversation with a stranger/customer, I am not inviting them to judge and make remarks about my body. Get a bloody grip 😂

Show quote history

My dear, what on earth are you quoting? I think your reading needs overhauling lovey.

SnappyJadeJoker · 14/11/2025 16:13

Bex39 · 12/11/2025 17:07

DH is adamant I am being OTT and he was just being polite but I disagree. Please help settle this for me.

We were in a shop which sells chocolate and he was at the till with me next to him.

Shop assistant - those (the chocolates DH was buying) are my favourites

DH - I would eat so much chocolate if I worked here

SA - tell me about it, I can’t help myself with the samples

DH - you couldn’t tell by your figure

SA - you are being too kind

DH - seriously, you are in great ‘nick’

SA - laughs

First comment, fine.

Second comment probably made her feel horribly uncomfortable

JaneEyre40 · 14/11/2025 16:15

Bex39 · 12/11/2025 17:07

DH is adamant I am being OTT and he was just being polite but I disagree. Please help settle this for me.

We were in a shop which sells chocolate and he was at the till with me next to him.

Shop assistant - those (the chocolates DH was buying) are my favourites

DH - I would eat so much chocolate if I worked here

SA - tell me about it, I can’t help myself with the samples

DH - you couldn’t tell by your figure

SA - you are being too kind

DH - seriously, you are in great ‘nick’

SA - laughs

Did you get transported back to the 60s? I would NOT be ok with that, if he does that in front of you, what does he do behind your back????

JaneEyre40 · 14/11/2025 16:18

Tryingtolikeyou · 12/11/2025 21:20

Its clear op dont like her husband very much.
I mean i dont know how i would feel slagging my partner off online and have other people calling him all sorts.
And all he done was a shit comment to a worker.
What if your husband done this come online and got random people calling you names bulling you, because you said a man looked good.

Its like the thread of the man at the cinema alone no one knew him yet he was a pedo a skank disgusting pig for sitting in a cinema alone.
I see it time and time again on here sheer bulling at men.
So many threads like this.

We was not with you so we dont know what tone he was using.
But i do know if it was me and i found out my partner done this, id be bloody hurt to know they allow random strangers on the net to say such hurtful things about me.

Sorry, what? Introduce yourself to punctuation please.

user1476277375 · 14/11/2025 17:02

Sleazy 🤢

SurvivalInstinctsOfABakedPotato · 14/11/2025 17:34

He's a twat. I bet if she had been big he wouldn't have had the bollocks to say 'yes, you can tell you eat a lot of them'

Why the fuck men think commenting when your slim somehow validates you and makes your day. It doesn't. Even men my own age and it pisses me off.

If your slim they think they can comment and it's a compliment and if you're fat they take the piss

I'd rather they keep their irrelevant thoughts in their own tiny little man brains

No surprise a bunch of women that disagree with him are miserable to him. Not clever enough for an intelligent come back

500 women must be wrong but he's the one who's right... 🙄🙄🙄