Stranger swore at me in a shop today

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I was shopping with my DS earlier at a clothing store and a man was sat down. Unfortunately, his bum was exposed due to his jeans being low.

My DS (4yo) mentioned this to me - ‘look at that’ sort of thing. The man overheard and told me to ‘mind my fucking business’ and stood up and walked away.

I was so taken aback I didn’t say anything. Is it me or are people so angry these days?

Oh come on no one called anyone a bad parent.

Although, several have alluded, or indicated, a 4 year old child should know better and it's bad parenting if they don't.

Its bad parentung that the guys mum never taught him to pull his trousers up

agree with this. You missed an opportunity to speak with your son about being rude and the consequences of that. Laughing about it certainly wasn’t the way to go, I suspect he will say something similar again about a persons appearance.

😂

Well I presume you corrected your child before he was rude?

Me too.
I'm also sick of pushed up boobs spilling out of tops and shorts so short they don't cover girls arses.

He's 4 ffs

I doubt he would have told a man to 'mind his fucking business'. When I've recalled similar encounters of men overreacting to my DH, he's always shocked at how unnecessarily rude and aggressive some men can be. As a tall man, he says he's never had anything like that happen to him. He might get someone flip him the bird when he's driving, but in that instance the man is presumably emboldened by being in the safety of his metal box.

It's great that YOUR four year old did this but that's one child and one example. He might well have forgotten that rule if he saw someone with their bum out in a shop.

No amount of anecdotal "evidence" will override the fact that children don't even start to develop empathy until around 3/4 and are several years older before they can truly put themselves in someone else's shoes. Of course there are exceptions to the rule, but parroting a phrase once doesn't prove "understanding".

Oh for goodness sake- all the people in this thread saying the 4 year old was rude, how ridiculous. He's 4!!

Then you have on the other hand, a fully gown adult man who is capable of dressing himself independently walking around exposing his bottom to people- THATS RUDE AF. I do not wish to see someone's bare arse when going out and about during my day- he's a grown man who is perfectly capable of covering it up. If anyone was rude its him.

A child being surprised that someone is exposing private parts of his body in public is not something I would consider rude. It is commenting on someone behaving inappropriately, not their appearance.

I think showing your arse crack is pretty rude tbh. I don’t thinking swearing because a 4 year old commented on low standards is ok. So the man was rude on two counts and the 4year old child was just being honest.

I don’t think we should be putting up with arse cracks in public. It’s antisocial behaviour. To me seeing someone’s arse crack is just as antisocial as say having someone cycle on the pavement. These ‘small’ things should be nipped in the bud.

less of those god awful arse-crack leggings and pjs in public too please!

Why should we tiptoe around so many people incase their feelings get hurt? Yes if someone has an obvious birthmark or something your child shouldn’t be pointing it out, but if the man simply chose to wear inappropriate clothing your child is free to judge away.

I am experiencing increasing aggression towards me and my children by older men in normal situations. We have experienced similar (but completely unprovoked) outbursts in shops, on walks etc. I think it's something to do with the political temperature right now, they feel emboldened by reform etc to air their nasty personalities when before they might have stayed quiet.

In more ways than one.

You need to tell him to show respect

For a man showing his arse?
Mumsnet is getting weirder by the day.

If you walk around with your arse crack on display, other people be they 4 or 40 are entitled to point and say "look, an arse crack!". In my opinion.

It's not antisocial to comment upon and/or call out antisocial behaviour. Yes he was embarrassed, he should be embarrassed. Having your arse out is embarrassing.

It is also not a personal remark, because having your arse out on show isn't a personal characteristic. It's a choice. Much like pointing out "look, he just licked that muffin and put it back in the shelf!" isn't a personal remark, it's a comment on another person's voluntary antisocial behaviour. It would apply to anyone who engaged in that behaviour, hence it is not personal.

Unless of course he has a disability which means he can't help his arse flopping out. Doesn't sound like it.

The grown man who subjects other adults and children to a view of his arse you mean?

You don't know what kind of person he is or what kind of day he has had. Yoh can't account for other people.
My son once bumped a woman of about 50 with a basket in a supermarket, was not a huge bump, and she started f ing and blinding at him.
I remained calm and loudly continued ro repeat 'can you stop swearing and getting aggressive at a child' until eventually we went our separate ways.
I was attacked in Monsoon once by a woman who tried to grab the dress I was looking at in the sale, and it ended up with her jumping on me and grabbing my throat, she just went bananas and the police were called, she was known to them.
Some people just have issues.

Because his arse was hanging out. Why did the man think it was ok to bare his arse?

Have you ever met a 4 year-old? They have form for this sort of thing. Mine both commented publicly a couple of times on other people’s appearance or clothing. My son had a real thing about the Town Crier… ‘Is that a pirate?’ and the next time we saw him: ‘Why is that man wearing ladies’ shoes?’ Of course I told him it was impolite to comment out loud about such things and he learnt quickly not to do it.