Stranger swore at me in a shop today

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I was shopping with my DS earlier at a clothing store and a man was sat down. Unfortunately, his bum was exposed due to his jeans being low.

My DS (4yo) mentioned this to me - ‘look at that’ sort of thing. The man overheard and told me to ‘mind my fucking business’ and stood up and walked away.

I was so taken aback I didn’t say anything. Is it me or are people so angry these days?

"Yes darling, it's very rude to have your hairy arsecrack on display in public and it's very very rude to say fuck in front of a 4 year old, but making a personal comment about the nasty man is unkind"

(Adult) men make personal remarks about and to women all the time. I would not mind betting that man with the builders bum has done this on multiple occasions.

Guess they can dish it out but not take it.

I think the man lost the right to an apology when he swore at the child. He ain't no gentleman.

Why did your son believe it was ok to make personal remarks about other people?

Because his arse was hanging out, no one wants to see that!

I don’t agree. Swearing at a small child is outrageous and I’d want to defuse the situation and lighten the mood for my child by making a joke of it. I wouldn’t want him thinking he was the weird one.

Na, I think he told your 4yo to mind his f-ing business...

It really is crazy to see so many posters holding a 4 year old to a higher standard than a man with his butt hanging out and swearing in the presence of a child. 4 year olds will talk about what they see, and even if corrected, can't be expected to get filtering correct every time.

Reminds me of my DS and I in town. He was around 4. We came upon a double amputee man in a wheelchair. My son shouted out, where's than man's legs?
I apologised profusely and the man roared with laughter and then very kindly told my son that he had an accident and had hurt his legs. I still cringe now but the man was so lovely to my DS 🥰

I hope that man was embarrassed, he should be.

Hopefully he'll think twice about forcing everyone to see his hairy arse crack now. Grim.

At 4 years old I had a mooning in public phase..the best of both worlds 😂

That is not a normal reaction. He is probably struggling something way more serious that your child innocent comments.

He's 4, and a fully grown man had his bare arse hanging out 🤷‍♀️

Now we've cleared that up, wtaf did said fully-grown man compound disappointing life choices by swearing at the kid's mother for existing?

(Bet he wouldn't have sworn at his father.)

Small children have no filter, it takes time for them to learn tact.

It takes even longer for some men to realise that no one wants to see their arse crack in public.

Small children being small children explains the comments they make and why you should forgive them.

But it doesn't make the brutally honest things they say feel any less embarrassing or any less hurtful.

Being unexpectedly and suddenly made to feel bad about yourself explains the swearing.

None of this is ideal but it is all very human.

Man was a total wanker.

OP - please advise your son that in the event of a similar sighting in the future, the only acceptable statement is:

'I could park my bike in there!'

The louder the better.

I’m not holding the four year old to a higher standard. I’m responding to the person who started the thread.

If the man has started a thread I’d have some things to say about dressing appropriately in public and swearing in front of small children.

He isn’t on this thread to be held to account though.

He’s 4! You should have heard some of the things my eldest DD came out with at that age

The man just sounds horrible

I don't think it's a big deal. Taken aback yea because he was rude but also use it to teach your child it is rude to comment on someone else's body and also the man was rude to swear.

Honestly, he should be embarrassed. Its pretty rude to walk around with your ass on display. Nobody wants to see that.

Yes you are. You stated that you feel an apology was owed to the man because of the comment of a child. Why? A child is behaving as children would. If you would have told the man he shouldn't be flashing his arse and swearing at the mom, why should he be owed an apology. The child didn't start it. If the bare butt was not in front of the child, the child would not have said anything.

Maybe because he's only 4 years old? What an idiotic statement

Well let's hope the man learns his lesson after being called out from a 4 year old. Seriously though, I have been in situations like that from my middle daughter who had absolutely no filter age 4. The amount of times she embarrassed me. I wouldn't worry too much OP. You will laugh about it in later life.

I’m really not. A four year old can’t be expected to behave perfectly every time, that’s why we correct as appropriate and model good behaviour.

The other person’s behaviour is irrelevant to reaching the child that lesson.

I taught my children that their behaviour shouldn’t be predicated on other people’s low standards.

It’s not ok to have embarrassed/hurt someone’s feelings just because they responded rudely.

It’s not ok to swear at a child just because you were humiliated or your feelings were hurt

Correct behaviour is correct behaviour regardless of what anyone else is doing.

Ditto, but apparently having a 4 year old who says it like they see it is indicative of us being terrible parents. The response of the typical MNer's 4 year old would be along the lines of 'I say mother, I didn't want to say so at the time as it would have been terribly childish of me - I'm not three any more after all - and the transgression of social mores an overt comment would have represented would doubtless have caused you significant embarrassment, but now that we are out of earshot that man's sartorial choices really did leave a lot to be desired. Being blunt I could practically see his anus'.