Stranger swore at me in a shop today

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I was shopping with my DS earlier at a clothing store and a man was sat down. Unfortunately, his bum was exposed due to his jeans being low.

My DS (4yo) mentioned this to me - ‘look at that’ sort of thing. The man overheard and told me to ‘mind my fucking business’ and stood up and walked away.

I was so taken aback I didn’t say anything. Is it me or are people so angry these days?

The man with arse out was probably offending everybody. Who wants to see that?

At 4yo your DS should already know not to make personal remarks about strangers in their hearing.

In those circumstances I would have apologised to the man.

Early teaching of manners will benefit your child as he gets older.

In general. Yes, small children should gradually learn not to make unkind personal remarks.

But in this case I just think: slobby oik thinks people want to see his arse, little boy quite reasonably thinks this is not a pleasant sight and says so. Oik then swears at child. I know whose side I’m on!🤣

lol. Your child embarrassed him so he swore. Such is life. Just move on.

Pretty rude to have your bum out in public on the first place.

Did you say anything to your son when he made his ‘look at that’ observation?

If you said ‘Shh, love, we don’t point out things / talk loudly about people like that, do we?’ (or said nothing) then the bloke was being absurd. We all know 4-year-olds are incredibly blunt and aren’t meaning to be rude.

If when your son made his comment you replied “Oh yes, what a silly man sitting there with his pants showing, he looks ridiculous” then the man would have a point.

Nothing worse than witnessing a hairy arse crack in public. Your son saw one and pointed it out 🤣🤣
You should have told the bloke to cover it up

Did you say anything to your son? Why did he tell you to mind your own business?

No, I didn’t have time to reply.

Four years olds don't have enough experience of the world to understand how to apply a blanket rule like "don't make personal comments about people" to situations like this. It's not about manners, it's about brain development.

That doesn't mean parents shouldn't teach them over time, or that they shouldn't apologise on behalf of their child in the moment, but it sounds like the man responded before the OP could.

I guess if the OP had said something like that, the bloke would have been obnoxious in any case.

You go out showing us your arse crack - you get told! If you’re tough enough to do the first thing, you’ll have to suck up the second.

if I was OP I’d be assuring my little boy that the man was unusual, nasty, rude and basically a silly arse.

Why do males let their bums hang out. Do they not know or care? Do they not feel it? Do they get off on flashing bum crack? Sick of seeing them. The man sounds like an outright prick. He did what a lot of men do- he had a difficult feeling, and instead of realising that his feeling is a him-problem, threw it back with aggression at whoever evoked it.

I am absolutely sick of seeing mens' hairy arses hanging out so I wouldn't feel bad about it.

I certainly would be apologising to him as a pp suggested, it's him who should be apologising for not dressing appropriately in public 🤢

He was embarrassed but obviously the 'fucking' was in anger. Unnecessarily rude. But TBF you and your son should've minded your own business if he was displaying the half moon.

Not condoning the aggression but it's a lesson in not saying things about negative aspects of strangers' appearances in earshot.

He was embarrassed that a four years old knows how to dress properly and he doesn't and instead of pulling up his trousers he was rude.

Thats not true. I suppose it depends whether the child has juuuust turned 4 or is closer to 5, but DS was definitely 4 when I commented (from the car, about a lady on the pavement) "Gosh I like that lady's colourful hair!" and he said "Yes, but you shouldn't comment on what people look like" because I had drummed that into him after one too many embarrassing comments
I do think 4 is old enough to learn a blanket rule not to comment; it's learning the nuance like when it is ok to comment (like to pay a compliment or let someone know their zip is undone) that takes longer.
The man's feelings were valid, but he shouldn't have sworn in front of a small child.

4 yos can absolutely understand “we don’t talk about the way people look in front of them - it might hurt their feelings”

They can also understand “please apologise to this gentleman, you were very rude”

When my son was about 3, he eyeballed an inoffensive man on a train for absolutely no reason and said, loudly and clearly, "YOU are a DIRTY OLD MAN."

I was so horrified I couldn't even think of anything to say (luckily we were getting off anyway, so I just bundled him off the train). But even now I'm not sure what I could have said. "No, he's not a dirty old man"? Maybe that makes it worse? The best I can think of is, "Don't be silly," but I didn't think of it at the time. I still cringe at the memory of that poor man.

Anyway: what exactly were you supposed to do, when your son said that? I mean, the guy did indeed have his arse hanging out. Even, "Don't be silly," isn't appropriate in that context. I guess you could have shushed him and explained later. But it doesn't sound as though the guy even gave you the chance to do that. Honestly, this whole situation is on him, from flashing his arse to swearing in front of a 4 year old. Makes me glad somebody did point it out to him, actually.

Child is 4 years old. Kids comment on the world around them.

If someone doesn't want people commenting on their exposed ass they should cover it up.

The question surely should be 'why did some bloke believe it is OK to have your arse hanging out in public ?'

Hopefully he'll be shamed into not exposing himself next time he goes out.

Was the man fat?

I mean he’s a perma-angry man with his arse hanging out. You win whatever

At 4 he also knows you shouldn't have your arse out in public! Something this adult man still hasn't learned 😂

I hate seeing hairy arsecracks on display, beer guts hanging below t-shirt level etc. It's really grim, and bad manners. Being caught off guard by your child's comment is very understandable, and I imagine we've all been there to some degree.

However it is not okay to not correct a child making personal comments (even though they are 100% correct in their observation), and allow this to become normal. Actively laughing about it afterwards is pretty vile.

So many threads lately about how unkind we are to each other these days - easy to see where it can begin when you read stuff like this!

Ignore the absolute clown commenting why your son said that 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️