To not understand people who talk about being the first in their family to go to uni like it’s a badge of honour?

[Kyrgyzstan]

Sorry if this sounds dismissive of their achievements but isn’t it less of a rags to riches tale of personal achievement and more of a generational difference? I mean barely any of our parents generation went to university and now it’s pretty much expected if you want a half way decent job.

Obviously if you were raised by heroin addicts and managed to still get good grades and go off to uni that’s different but the children of ordinary parents who just didn’t go to university talking about it like a huge achievement sounds a little strange to me?

It's a huge achievement for people from non academic families. Especially faced with "you think you're better than us?", "you're going above your station" people from some families face.

Can’t people just be proud of themselves? I dont think my parents generation had easy access to uni. I know and work with tonnes of young people who have gone straight into the work place. Academia isn’t just available to everyone, let alone paid academia.

Surely that entirely depends on what generation they and their parents are in in the first place? Plus I wouldn't underestimate the effect of parental/family expectations on what people think is achievable. My DM was first in her family to go to uni (she's in her 70s). My DH was first in his family to go to uni. One of my nieces is the first in her family to go to uni. 3 different generations, very different experiences but all needed to overcome family resistance to the idea.

Surely this was only a thing of 25/30 years ago when old polytechnics were becoming Unis and not things affecting the 18 year olds of 2025?

Tell me you don't see things outside your own experience without telling me!

Is it really? If the family were normal but just didn’t go to uni? My parents didn’t go to uni like the majority of people their age. I’m mid twenties and haven’t been yet but will when my kids are a little older. I don’t think it will be a grand achievement just what’s expected in this day and age compared to years ago when it didn’t matter as much

Don't care about the thread <waves hand around> but have you been to Kyrgyzstan? I'm very interested...

I was the first person in my family to go to university. It is not a big deal. I would never mention it. I think it reflects poorly on you, if you need to keep refering to something quite ordinary.

I see it from both sides. Like you point out, it is much more common to go to university now whereas before it would be mostly middle class kids. But on the other hand, it’s not to be dismissed that if you’re the first of your family to go to university, there’s likely more obstacles in your way. I saw this first hand at sixth form - parents trying to persuade their kids not to apply as they were worried about the debt aspect, not having any home guidance of what unis to apply to, how to write a personal statement, what subjects to take, etc. I came from a working class background as supportive as my parents were, they had no clue and I had to access this help externally, but for my middle class peers this was all provided at home in abundance. Indeed, a lot of this guidance was given years in advance when choosing GCSE subjects to prepare for uni.
I wouldn’t say I’m proud as such, but I can acknowledge my experience was different from that of my more middle class peers.

What do you mean? It’s a fact that back in the day barely any one went and now it’s expected if you want a half way decent job.

I said in my op if you’re from an actual dysfunctional family like heroin addicts or alcoholics of course it’s an achievement. But just regular family? Not really it’s just a generational difference.

No I just put a bunch of random country names in the username bar till I found one that hadn’t been taken haha

There are still plenty of school age children now who are from families where no one has been to university. So not really a generational thing. Disadvantaged groups still exist, Inequality in accessing higher education is still a problem. So of course being the first person in the family to go to university can be a huge achievement. Bit of an unpleasant thread really,

Only a handful of my school friends went on to university (I am 54). It was obvious to me who they would be from 11 years of age.

It's definitely more the norm now but that wouldn't stop me from feeling really happy for any friend who proudly told me that their child is first in their family to go to university.

I wouldn't dream of taking the wind out anyone's sails by giving them the facts on how many people went to university in 1971 compared with now, for example!

I actually agree with you and I WAS that person - first in the family and wider family - apart from 2 who were the same age as me. And I went in the early 1990s, attending uni in the UK (born in a different country).

There is definitely advantage to having several generations of a family go to uni but more around what to look for (e.g. I didn't have a clue about 'rankings' of uni, or that you had to write elaborate personal statements - partly this was due to having applied as a mature student having done my schooling in a different country). BUT I guess I was always naturally academic and 'hungry' to succeed. That in itself was a great motivator. I never once have had issues mixing with other 'classes' either - and both my parents were 'proper' working class (both lived in poverty when they were young).

Even though I didn't go to a uni that perhaps was matched to my ability (poly - even though I had a very high GPA), it was the making of me and I managed to make a successful path in my career too.

But if someone told me proudly that they were the first, or their child was, I'd obviously celebrate with them!

Yeah my kids are school age and I haven’t been to uni (yet) wouldn’t say they are disadvantaged.
I conceded in my op that if parents really are dysfunctional like heroin addicts etc of course it is an achievement

Doesn't it come up in uni applications, can give rise to contextual offer if parents haven't been to uni

I didn’t realise that there was a generational time limit on being proud to be the first person in a family to go to go to university. Achievement is achievement
whether if happens in 2025, 1980 or 2007.
Either the people who think it’s a non event are hopeless at studying social history, demographics etc.; totally non empathetic and unimaginative , or such have such a heavy silver spoon in their mouth, no other world exists!

Surely its not that hard to understand

Damn!

It does depend on circumstances.

No one from my ex's family had been to university until his oldest nephew did, so he could, if he wanted to, boast about being the first to go to university.

But ex's brother has an extremely successful and high-paid career and sent all his children to private school, so ex's nephews and nieces grew up in the kind of environment where the majority of their peers would be expecting/ planning on going to university.

If going to uni isn't a big deal and anyone can do it why didn't you?

I don’t think it sounds strange. Some people are immensely proud of their DC achievements can’t see what’s wrong with that. You sound like you’re sneering at people.

I think it’s an achievement.
If you’re not from a particularly academic family but you manage to push ahead and pursue higher education then you’re going outside of the ‘norms’ of your family in pursuit of something. That’s absolutely something to congratulate.
I’m unsure what point some PP are trying to make referencing that not many people used to go to uni.

My parents definitely saw it as something akin to a badge of honour, and they certainly took great pride in the fact we all went to uni.

My dad only got his degree in his early 30s, so had unskilled jobs when he first left school.

There was no question that our own kids would not go to university, but we’re still just as proud.

Look, I'm from a family which founded some of the oldest institutions in this country. Their names are carved on the doors, and there are busts of them.

I don't know what it's like to grow up in crushing poverty, and I don't know what it's like to have astounding wealth either.

But I do have this thing called an imagination. Do you think people say these things for shits and giggles? Do you generally go around telling people that their experiences/feelings aren't real?