To ask you to reconnect with that person you’ve drifted away from?

YoureKillingMyPeace · 12/11/2025 09:22

I would hate to receive a message out of the blue from someone from my past, even though I often think of them and our shared time together fondly. You can’t go back and recreate that time.

We drifted for a reason. We are different people now, and if they didn’t feel close enough to me to keep contact at the time (e.g ‘ooh we must do coffee some time’…& it never happens) I’m not going to getting all pally with them again now.

Trentdarkmore · 12/11/2025 09:23

Why?

RedNine · 12/11/2025 09:24

No ta.

Zimunya · 12/11/2025 09:28

Yup. People "drift away" for a reason. In my case it was realising that I was always the one to get in touch, remember birthdays, and generally be a good friend, but in response I got very few responses and was never contacted first. I finally realised that my "friend" was sending me a clear message - that I wasn't an important part of her life, and the right thing to do was "drift away". No massive falling out, no drama - just a realisation on my part that the friendship was more important to me than it was to her.

Perruquier · 12/11/2025 09:29

But drifting away is also fine. It’s fine to recognise that some friendships aren’t forever. It doesn’t mean they didn’t have value.

Original poster

officiallybringing · 12/11/2025 11:16

Such negative people responding. Life can lead to drifting especially with the pandemic. How sad that the people that have responded are so negative and see this as being the fault of the other person only and want nothing more to do with them. I can see why people drifted away from those who have posted so far.

OP posts:

Arregaithel · 12/11/2025 11:18

officiallybringing · 12/11/2025 11:16

Such negative people responding. Life can lead to drifting especially with the pandemic. How sad that the people that have responded are so negative and see this as being the fault of the other person only and want nothing more to do with them. I can see why people drifted away from those who have posted so far.

their feelings are equally as valid as yours tbf @officiallybringing

BlueEyedBogWitch · 12/11/2025 11:19

No, you’re alright thanks.

They're mostly twats.

MatchaMatchaMatcha · 12/11/2025 11:20

officiallybringing · 12/11/2025 09:03

I’m not talking about people you had a massive falling out with or estranged family members, unless you want to of course. But everyone has that person you used to be close to that you’ve drifted away from. This is your sign to send the message to reconnect. We can discuss the outcome of sending that first message here

Why? What business is it of yours?

OnlyMabelInTheBuilding · 12/11/2025 11:22

Why would us reconnecting with random people having any effect on you?

If people drift, let them. Usually for good reason.

MrsSkylerWhite · 12/11/2025 11:22

People drift apart for a reason.

shuddacuddadidnt · 12/11/2025 11:23

Don't people drift apart because the interest in being in contact has died? So both parties feel the same way about the relationship.

inmyera · 12/11/2025 11:23

I completely agree with you. Having lost two people last month that I hadn't seen in years, but always thought we would see each other again someday, I am so sad and angry with myself that I didn't make more of an effort. There were geographical barriers in both cases, but I wish I had made an effort to see them more often.

Thepeopleversuswork · 12/11/2025 11:25

It massively depends on why you've "drifted" though doesn't it?

I've had situations where I've drifted away from friends for situational reasons and reconnected later and picked the friendship back up. But there have also been situations where I very much didn't want to reconnect with the person.

I'm not in the camp that says you should always leave a dormant friendship but it has to be case by case?

LushLemonTart · 12/11/2025 11:29

inmyera · 12/11/2025 11:23

I completely agree with you. Having lost two people last month that I hadn't seen in years, but always thought we would see each other again someday, I am so sad and angry with myself that I didn't make more of an effort. There were geographical barriers in both cases, but I wish I had made an effort to see them more often.

Don't be too hard on yourself. Could they have made the effort too? Were you in some sort of contact?

I often reach out to check in on people. I've reconnected with some. Sometimes there's no reason to reconnect though.

fishtank12345 · 12/11/2025 11:29

I have drifted away from a few friends from my youth and I only regret one of them I would have no idea how to find her now.

I was in a difficult place and didn't contact her first much and she just stopped texting/calling and I didn't even think to chase as I was a mess. She was lovely, would have loved to have kept her in my life now that I am more settled and can see the value of having pals.

Can't turn back time to make better choices sadly.

LaserPumpkin · 12/11/2025 11:30

YoureKillingMyPeace · 12/11/2025 09:22

I would hate to receive a message out of the blue from someone from my past, even though I often think of them and our shared time together fondly. You can’t go back and recreate that time.

We drifted for a reason. We are different people now, and if they didn’t feel close enough to me to keep contact at the time (e.g ‘ooh we must do coffee some time’…& it never happens) I’m not going to getting all pally with them again now.

This.

People tend to drift apart for a reason. And on the odd occasion I’ve met people I’ve previously been close to it’s been clear that we would never have been friends if we’d met as the people we are now.

Which is fine. Not everything has to last to have been important. And people change.

Charlotte120221 · 12/11/2025 11:31

who put you in charge!

life is a series of friendships that you drift in and out of - it's completely natural that people you were close to in your 20s have no part in your life when you're 50

Perruquier · 12/11/2025 11:32

officiallybringing · 12/11/2025 11:16

Such negative people responding. Life can lead to drifting especially with the pandemic. How sad that the people that have responded are so negative and see this as being the fault of the other person only and want nothing more to do with them. I can see why people drifted away from those who have posted so far.

What a bizarre response. You’re clearly being triggered by something in the situation. People are just saying it’s also ok to let friendships end. They’re not all destined to be lifelong.

Do88byisfree · 12/11/2025 11:32

Mu situation is maybe a bit different as i moved from the UK to Australia. An old friend got in touch with me over covid. We hadn't seen each other in over 15 years and we swapped a few msg and then finally caught up face to face in 2024. It was truly wonderful to connect and rekindle a friendship that had drifted due to distance and the inevitable busyness of family life.

Doesn't always work out though. I met up with another friend. We had been close work colleagues and became friends but when we met recently after 4 years of drifting, we struggled for conversation and it just felt awkward. We're just a different stages of life and I suspect we won't connect again.

MrsSkylerWhite · 12/11/2025 11:33

inmyera · 12/11/2025 11:23

I completely agree with you. Having lost two people last month that I hadn't seen in years, but always thought we would see each other again someday, I am so sad and angry with myself that I didn't make more of an effort. There were geographical barriers in both cases, but I wish I had made an effort to see them more often.

You’ve nothing to feel bad about. Presumably they’d have been in touch if they wanted to.

JoWawa · 12/11/2025 11:36

officiallybringing · 12/11/2025 09:03

I’m not talking about people you had a massive falling out with or estranged family members, unless you want to of course. But everyone has that person you used to be close to that you’ve drifted away from. This is your sign to send the message to reconnect. We can discuss the outcome of sending that first message here

What a lovely idea. I did it recently with a very old friend who has since died of cancer but I think we both enjoyed meeting up again, if only for one last time. I also, in retrospect, think she had been told about her fatal diagnosis but didn't mention it. We drove down to see her where she lived, so not too much effort on her part, I hope.

ThatshallotBaby · 12/11/2025 11:37

I don’t think this is a good idea @officiallybringing unless somebody is regretting losing touch with someone. I am full up. I want people to eat, but not at my table.

GinaDavva · 12/11/2025 11:38

officiallybringing · 12/11/2025 11:16

Such negative people responding. Life can lead to drifting especially with the pandemic. How sad that the people that have responded are so negative and see this as being the fault of the other person only and want nothing more to do with them. I can see why people drifted away from those who have posted so far.

Sanctimonious much? Has it occurred to you it might not have been them who did the drifting and it might have been for a good reason?

GentleSheep · 12/11/2025 11:40

Thanks for the reminder OP. Only yesterday I was thinking I really need to get back in touch with someone I've let drift for about 6 months. I'm going to send a message now.