To ask you to reconnect with that person you’ve drifted away from?

[officiallybringing]

I’m not talking about people you had a massive falling out with or estranged family members, unless you want to of course. But everyone has that person you used to be close to that you’ve drifted away from. This is your sign to send the message to reconnect. We can discuss the outcome of sending that first message here

I’d written a very similar post and forgotten to hit send. If op had asked if people had connected with friends from the past and how it had gone, she’d had received very different responses. Instead, she’d was sanctimonious, bossy and judgemental. And then wonders why she’s had the response she has. All whilst keeping completely quiet on whether she’s actually done this herself (or if she’s just directing others to). I feel it’s a wind up, personally.

I would hate to live a life where I want to go out there and get so aggressive and threatening over this kind of post and just let rip the most vile behaviour. I really think some of the responders here need to have a good hard look at themselves and when they’re going to sleep tonight ask themselves if they’re proud of how they behaved

😂 This reminds me of being told off by a very disapproving and disappointed teacher in primary school in the 70s. So strange.

‘I want you to sit there and think about your behaviour, young lady’ 😂

haha yes 😂

@officiallybringing - I think the sentiment behind your post is probably good. But there are going to be plenty of posters (me included) who have “drifted” for a multitude of reasons.

Firstly, I don’t want to reach out to them - they don’t deserve my energy, that is now reserved for a very close few. Secondly, if they did reach out then I would have no interest in them doing so, I have moved on and made peace with the fact that they’re no longer a part of my life.

It’s great (for you) that you’re able to do this, but don’t judge those who chose differently.

I think if you had posted with a different tone or shared your own experience of reconnecting rather than telling people to do it, the response would have been very different.

For my own part, I recently reconnected with a friend I haven't seen for a few years and it was wonderful, it was like the old days, sitting around drinking tea endlessly, chatting for hours and hours, I'd forgotten how well we got on. I think we were both a little emotional about it and it was just a lovely thing to do.

I also have a friend who I would love to track down but I can't find her, and have tried many many times. She wrote to me a few years ago but is no longer at that address and I can't find her anywhere.

There's hardly anyone from my past that I wouldn't be pleased to hear from, apart from the odd boyfriend!

I desperately want to reconnect with my family. Due to a shit storm of circumstances (and a lot of miscommunication on both parts) I've lost contact and the only thing stopping me reaching out is an overwhelming feeling they (understandably) hate me 😞😢

I'm gonna try and write a letter to reach out and explain/apologise though.

I don't want to reconnect. She thinks that because we made friends as children, effortless platitudes like "you're my best friend" and the odd comment on social media is enough to maintain a friendship. While she usually replies, the only message she's instigated in almost a decade was to ask me to call when she had a family tragedy.

She did the whole "we need to reconnect" "we need to make the effort to get our relationship to where it used to be" while everything was going on. Once life went back to normal she forgot about me again. She insists we're best friends but she won't even make the time for us to meet for an hour, even though she's happy to meet with her other friends. I've met her children twice. She's met my husband once.

I did a lot of reflecting and realised that we have very different expectations of friendship. She clearly sees us as friends because she values our history, and thinks that means she doesn't have to make any effort because I'll "always be there". But I see friendship as an ongoing project where we truly know each other consistently bring good into each others lives.

If someone only remembers me when they're going through a hard time, it means they don't see me, they see what I can do for them. I personally think I'm worth more than that, so I quiet quit and just stopped making any effort at all. I feel a lot better in myself.

Apologies that turned into a rant. It was very cathartic though.

That sounds very hard, all the best to you

Feel free to vent

Timely! Just this last month, I've had two messages from friends I've not seen or spoken to for decades. We've exchanged texts/FB posts on birthdays, but that's it. Consequently, I'm meeting up with a small group of old school friends and have a busy WhatsApp catch-up thread with another. It's very nice 🤗

One of the old school friends was very close back then, but I didn't like her when we were older. Even if she still annoys me, I can be tolerant for an evening. We're both part of the lost-touch group and it's the whole thing that matters.

The reason for my friendships drifting is simply that our lives became so different. The everyday conversations become pointless if you have to keep filling in background details. The connections are still there, though. I think I'll try waking up a few more lost friendships now - thanks for the prompt!

What namby pamby nonsense. If you’ve drifted away from someone there’s a reason.

Lovely to hear! You never know how things will pan out if you don’t try, best of luck with it!

mainly I think the reasons are trivial. Often "Just didn't get round to making a call or sending a card".
Was it Prue Leith who wrote about this? She had been bereaved, losing among others a husband and a brother to cancer. She was also conscious of losing contact from an outer tier of people who were between Close Friend and Acquaintance.
She commented about living to a older age and being a lonely survivor.

I have/had a friend who I talked to and saw all the time and after having my 4 year old we slowly drifted apart and I don’t really know why as I used to visit her and her kids all the time and was so close to them 🤷‍♀️ We message each other occasionally and say we need to meet up but it just never happens and we don’t even live that far away from each other… it’s really sad but I suppose it would just be awkward if we were to meet up now and her kids probably won’t even remember me 😢

Doesn't have to be some big grand dramatic reason but I drift away for a reason so why on earth would I want to drift back?