Does this teacher sound mean?

[Stoptheworldiwanttogetoffit]

Dc in Year 1, she came out of school crying today, very upset. She said the teacher had taken a stamper thing off her and will give it back to her tomorrow afternoon. It was one I got her from a recent holiday, which made her more upset. She said a new boy in the class had asked to use it so she wanted to be kind and gave it him. He apparently was messing about with it and the teacher asked whose it was and took it away. Dd also said today another girl brought a book in to school and was showing Dd, then Dd got told to put it away, in a harsh tone.
She was also doing her homework and got quiet and said she didn’t think the teacher was impressed with her work, I asked why/what made her think that and she said she didn’t know, just a feeling she had.
Does all this sound like usual classroom goings on and Dd just had a bad day?

I don't think they're being mean, just being really clear what the boundaries are.

Keep the stuff from home for show and tell sessions.

Teachers can’t do right for doing wrong. It’s ok if your DD felt a bit sad that the teacher took it off her for the sake of removing distractions. She’s probably a good girl who’s not used to any form of sharp words. It’s ok for her to get used to that. And it’s ok for a teacher to not be Miss Honey at all times - they’ve got a bloody tough job doing all that crowd control single handed!

She got him in trouble though, that's not kind is it? You're viewing your daughter through rose coloured glasses, as we all do. She shouldn't have had a toy out in school, regardless of her motivation, even if it was kindness.

She needs to learn there's a time and a place. She's got a long time in school, getting the boundaries in place early is a good thing. It wasn't harsh, it was a lesson.

It's much easier for them to learn the rules now while they are little, instead of letting them carry on and giving them as massive shock later that you can't play when you feel like it.

It sounds harsh but always remember to multiply everything by the number of kids in her class. Yes one kid with a little stamper thing is fine. 30 kids each with a little thing that all the others want to see and try and of course, no-one wants their thing broken or lost and there's your teacher's day. Keeping 30 little things safe, making sure that everyone has tried them all, none have got broken or lost, and coping with little Johnny who hates little Katie and will complain loudly when she gets to try his thingy even though he's tried hers, because trying your enemy's thingy is great, but your enemy trying your thingy is awful!

It’s simple - don’t take toys to school.

She would be more upset if one of the other kids had nicked it and took it home
dont let her take stuff in

Its standard in schools that children are not allowed to take toys in from home except when invited to eg show & tell.

She would have learned this in reception, they will be firmer about it in year 1 and will impose consequences.

If she wasn't sad about the consequence it wouldn't have much effect would it?

Teachers generally won't react a lot to children who cry because they've got in trouble/can't cope with discipline & rules. If they did the whole class would be sobbing every 5 mins for attention!

I think you’ve got some very long years of primary ahead

Oh gosh, not a “harsh tone” 🙄
Yet another teacher bashing thread. If you don’t like the way your precious darling is spoken to, feel free to home school.
Like I said on the other teacher bashing thread…not for all the money in the world would I be a teacher!!

Stationery makes it much more annoying than toys that are recognisable as toys that can be easily put away for lessons. When you give your children distracting toys disguised as stationery, they think they have the right to fiddle with it and discuss it when they’re meant to be working, because it’s a bit of stationery.

The teacher has done nothing wrong. It’s a shame that parents can’t be more supportive of her trying to create an environment that their children can focus in.

I’m a teacher and I think it sounds a bit harsh. But it’s always really difficult to work out what’s actually gone on in this kind of situation. I’d comfort your daughter for now, probably not bring it up with the teacher, but keep an eye on it just in case it turns out the teacher is overly harsh and it emerges as a pattern. This is unlikely to be the case though! So give your daughter a big cuddle and try not to give it much more thought.

Parents like this are why so many of the older kids I teach are spoiled and can’t take no for an answer.

I'd have probably given it back at the end of the day as I'm a softie but they shouldn't be bringing random things into school. Multiply that by 30 children and it's carnage. It's a stamper- she'll have forgotten about it by tomorrow.

Really, when children bring things in from home it's annoying because they got lost, broken, cause squabbles and distractions. Teacher is right to take them away but should give them back at the end of the day.

It depends on what others in the class are allowed to bring in but it doesn't sound fair to me. Some literally allow bags of stuff. Cuddly toys, fidget toys, all sorts of crap. Ask what their rules are regarding stuff from home.

Your kid broke the rules and didn’t like the teacher taking something she shouldn’t have brought into school from her.

You are not helping your child in any way build resilience. Nothing the teacher did was bad or wrong and frankly you are getting thr story through a child. YABVU.

Do the other children with toys pass them round the class during work times or do they keep them in their trays or book bags? Though actually it’s not just about passing them around, some small children often don’t really understand that if you lend something to someone it gets given back, it’s not yours to keep, plus things do get “lost” or broken which can also be upsetting. Stampers can be a nightmare, children can get carried away, don’t always realise that some things are NOt for stamping ( reading books, table tops, other children, work books, whiteboards….). Toys need to stay at home. Makes everything much clearer.

Your dd also needs to learn that just because other children do something it doesn’t mean she has to follow suit, this will be a useful lesson to remind her of when she is nine and wants a smartphone, or fifteen and wants to have a boyfriend to stay over, or 16 and wants a party with alcohol🙂.

Why?

Honestly @Stoptheworldiwanttogetoffit and I have had little patience with some teachers, your dd broke the rules and helped disrupt learning for other children. This wasted the teacher's time. Your dd needs to learn to follow the rules and accept the consequences when she doesn't.

Put it like this. School starts at 8.30 and finishes at 3.30. (I'm using times rounded to the half hour). 420 minutes

I once worked out that with all the sitting down, registers, coats on and off, breaks, assembly, lunch, etc. Perhaps 3 20 monite whole clase learning activities, circle time, close the day, etc. Took about 300 minutes. That left 120 minutes for individual learning/interactions - 4 minutes per child and I suspect that's generous. I hope that puts it in perspective for you.

It is essential that everyone follows the rules to maximise learning which is what they go to school for.

Please don't let your dd grow up to be that first jobber who thinks the conditions of employment and getting the job done, don't apply to her and ventires hurt feelings and anxiety if she's given clear expectations,.or just managed.

You need to suppprt the teacher here.

Because if you’re going to get this upset over something very minor, there’ll be a whole load of angst for you over the coming years.

So the teachers just get meaner 😂

Have you actually spoken to the teacher to ask what really happened?

Or have you already made your mind up that the teacher is "mean"?????

This teacher hasn't been mean though. If this is something you consider mean then yes school life is likely to be a challenge for you and your daughter.