DSis is skimping on Christmas because she’s obsessed with her Skye trip?

[LydiaRidesAgain]

DSis has announced on the family chat that she’s doing a smaller Christmas this year so she and BIL can save for their big Isle of Skye holiday next summer.
Fine in theory, except last year she happily accepted the tasteful and expensive pile of gifts I bought for them both, and now I am apparently only getting a little token.

DM has already chimed in with something about memories meaning more than materialistic things which pissed me off.

AIBU to think she can save for her holiday without cheaping out on me and the rest of the family?????

I can understand frustration if you're an early shopper - I've got roughly half my presents already and as I try buy some local independents and craft fairs it's not really returnable for much of it.

But otherwise, why on earth does it matter what people spent last year? That's over and gone.

Match her in downsizing, and spend the money on nice things for yourself and your family. Your mum is right, experiences and memories are worth more.

Agree. I also think your mother is right tbh.

Stuff is overrated.

"Renegotiate the terms of the Christmas gifts" 🤣

Good to see the true spirit and magic of Christmas is alive and well.

😂

Oh for goodness sake, OP, don't be so juvenile. Maybe you could just agree that adults don't need any presents (which they don't), and then this will no longer be an issue for you.
Good on your sister for planning a lovely holiday!

Shit like this is exactly why I hate Xmas and choose not to have any part in it.
Get a grip of yourself and leave her alone. You sound spoilt and grabby.

Just agree, return anything you've already bought her (or give to someone else) and then buy her a small token. It's really not that complicated. My Mum barely did any gifts last year as my Dad died just before Christmas and she really couldn't face shopping. It's not a big deal.

I assume you’ve already bought her some lovely expensive presents OP, so you’re annoyed she’s now announced her festive frugality. Can her gifts be returned, or given to someone else? Personally I’d be happy to have one less person to think about. DP and I have agreed minimal spend this year, and it’s quite a relief.

I didn't think adults bought each other Christmas presents any more except for,say a small token gift for a parent

You’ve had a fair chunk more than a month, even if you found out today:……..

Are you familiar with compound interest, @LydiaRidesAgain ? Let’s say you spend £1200 a year on Christmas - if instead you saved the money at 4% a year, in 5 years you would have £8100….. £7200 investment plus £900 interest. If you save the money in an ISA or your pension, it is tax free.

In 10 years you’d have £16500 including £3300 interest. And so on. Returns could be even higher if invested in an equity fund for the long term.

There are lots of compounds interest calculators online, e.g.:

https://www.aviva.co.uk/investments/savings-accounts/compound-interest-calculator/

Good for her! I’m doing the same thing though my trip is a long weekend abroad it’s not something I’d otherwise be able to afford.

You can't expect some expensive present just because you spent a lot last year! She's explained why she's cutting back in order to inform you not to go mad with your present for her this year. I'd be pleased if I were you.

Giving a gift does not automatically mean you deserve a gift in return. Be happy for your DSis and go on a holiday yourself.

It sounds very sensible to me.

Ah ... the true spirit of Christmas! Tit for tat.... measuring the value of presents and making sure you get as good as you give ..... sigh.

Why is what you bought her last year remotely relevant?

Just give them equivalent gifts to what she’s proposing.

I think if Christmas for you has become this transactional you’re kind of missing the point of Christmas. It’s a bit sad.

Fuck me all the grabby ones are out in force today.

She's given you plenty of notice. So don't buy her an expensive present this year. It's not difficult.
Have you already bought their presents?

So just get her a box of Dairy Milk and return/keep for yourself the gift(s) you've already bought her. She's set the precedent now hasn't she? No more thought required.

I get why your peed off - a few years ago my DSD announced they weren't doing presents - 2 days before Christmas!

I don't see what last year's gift exchange has to do with it.
This year, she's told you in advance so you can adjust your giving accordingly. Seems fair to me.

Bloody hell.

Firstly, why is last year relevant? Did she match your gift buying last year and spend a similar amount? If yes, then just see this year as a whole new year. If no, you could be annoyed about that at the time but why is it relevant now?

Secondly, you sound so entitled. Why should you receiving a Christmas present be more important than her going on a lovely holiday? You sound like a spoilt child. Your final sentence about you thinking she should be able to save for a holiday without skimping on your presents is grim. Obviously she can’t afford to do both, and she is not wrong for choosing a holiday over Christmas presents. It’s just so materialistic. Just buy her something small this year and gratefully accept whatever small gift she gets you.

Are you an adult? Cost of living is a struggle for everyone. Buying presents for other adults is just not a priority for a lot of people and that's fair enough. Just use the money that you were going to spend on them to treat yourself to something you wouldn't normally for Christmas.

If you have already bought stuff then can you take it back? Or use as a birthday present or for someone else

Get her a token gift