To think this was really cheeky of my friend!

[BreezyFish]

So my friend has just told me that she’s “only gonna spend a cutla quid” (her words, not mine ) on my DS this Christmas because she’s “saving for Center Parcs next year.”

Now, I don’t want to sound ungrateful, but a cutla quid?? I actually thought she was joking at first. My DS is 7, not some random kid from school you pick up a selection box for. I always spend properly on her DD with last year it was a LEGO set, a book, and one of those slime-making kits that exploded glitter everywhere. Easily £25+.

So I said, “Oh right, just a couple of quid?” and she said, dead serious, “Yeah hun, can’t go mad this year, Center Parcs isn’t cheap.”

Sorry but since when did her holiday mean my son gets shortchanged?! It’s not my fault she wants to go be in a beige lodge with a swimming pool.

She’s now acting like I’m the unreasonable one for being “materialistic.” But surely it’s just basic decency to reciprocate roughly what someone else spends?

Would I be unreasonable to get her DD something from the pound shop this year and see how she likes it?

She’s probably cutting back for everyone so she can put extra towards her holiday.
Its good she let you know and you didn’t find out when you exchanged gifts.
Just do the same.

Just dont buy for her kids & she doesnt buy for yours. Problem solved.

Oh good, a drip feed. Is that because opinions weren’t in your favour?

Sounds a bit pointless continuing a friendship from your latest update. Agree to not bother to buy for the kids at all and let it fade out.

Sounds like she’s letting you know in advance so that you can match the spend reduction on what you spend on her child to keep it fair. Why are you buying Christmas presents for each others children anyway? I only buy for family because it gets ridiculously expensive otherwise.

Your friend said ‘cutla quid’ and you knew what she was talking about? Do you both have speech impediments? Y wud ne1 rite vat?

She's right to tell you, in order to manage expectations. I don't think that's unreasonable.
You adjust accordingly. You're now looking at a £10 gift, as opposed to a £25+ bagful.

To be fair, a lego set, a book and a craft set is very generous for a friends kid. That's more in the league of a niece or nephew I'd have thought.

I'd expect my friend to prioritise her family holiday over buying a more expensive gift for my child, yes. I'd do the same. Wouldn't you want your friend to be able to afford a nice holiday for her family, even if it means cutting back on Xmas gifts this year? I would if it was my friend. YABU.

YABU for buying her daughter a gift that contained exploding glitter. This is probs why she is refraining from buying yours a decent gift this year.
Also when did we start giving to receive?

Maybe she realised you’re not her friend and look down on her.

If a friend said they were spending a couple of quid, on my child, I would assume that they were expecting me to do the same for theirs. However in my firendship groups we don't buy presents for each others children and £25 sounds a lot for a friend's child especially as you don't sound that keen on them.

From your updates she doesn't sound much of a friend anyway

7 years of age is old enough to say thank you for any gift received regardless of its monetary value and to know other families may not be as well off as yours.

Her DD asked for it!

Have you been buying for her child for longer & she has happily accepted gifts? Is your DS younger? I had a friend who happily accepted decent gifts for her kids & then mine came along about 8 or so years later. They would get second hand book as a gift (it was something with her kids names written in). So when it came to reciprocating it was obvious we weren’t important enough to actually buy something new. You can’t get much for £2. I think a fiver would be more use.

She might be teaching you a lesson for the gift which explodes glitter everywhere 😂 - seriously, I couldnt buy gifts for all my friends kids etc , that's crazy - what a headache , I would rather spend it all on family - I think your friend may have a point ...

Spelling aside I really don’t see the issue.

We don’t do Christmas gifts for friends’ children at all. Maybe just agree not to buy anything? Or just also get her child something small.

i really don’t think you can complain here, she’s decided to spend her money on something for her and her children this year,
perhaps you could do no gifts this year?

Present giving shouldn’t be transactional. Give what you want to give, and what will give you pleasure to give. Then move on.

What a thing to moan about. Just agree no gifts. She's prioritising a holiday with her own children. What's the actual problem with that?

Given that your follow-up post gives the impression that you're fed up with her, maybe step back from the friendship.

"So yes, maybe on the surface it’s “a bit of a storm in a teacup over a few quid,” but when it’s the latest in a long line of tightfisted nonsense, can you really blame me for being fed up??"

Tight-fisted or skint? Cost of living is very real. Also, she is entitled to spend money on what she wants, not what you prioritise.

IMO, you need to cut back on the spending out of care for a friend.

This.
"Hi friend.. I know you are saving for Centre Parks, would you prefer if we stopped doing Xmas presents as they get so much anyway and just exchanged some Christmas Chocolates instead? Why don't we stick to a budget of not more than £5..

She doesn't want to keep buying presents.. So make the decision for her and spend the £25 you would have spent on her child on yours instead ( or maybe 50/50 between you and your child.)

Exploding glitter is a shitty thing to do, regardless of her daughter wanting it, in my opinion.

Surely this is a reverse

I actually pronounce ‘couple of’ in a very similar way, as in ‘cuppla’ ‘a cuppla quid’ ‘a couple of pounds’. I have a cockney accent as I was born in east London. It’s very localised, if you’ve ever watched only fools and horses Del Boy always said ‘a cuppla quid’ but if you aren’t used to hearing it that way it could sound like ‘cutla’. OP just wrote it how she heard it being said, I have no idea why people are freaking out about a way a word has been typed / pronounced in a specific regional accent.