To think this was really cheeky of my friend!

[BreezyFish]

So my friend has just told me that she’s “only gonna spend a cutla quid” (her words, not mine ) on my DS this Christmas because she’s “saving for Center Parcs next year.”

Now, I don’t want to sound ungrateful, but a cutla quid?? I actually thought she was joking at first. My DS is 7, not some random kid from school you pick up a selection box for. I always spend properly on her DD with last year it was a LEGO set, a book, and one of those slime-making kits that exploded glitter everywhere. Easily £25+.

So I said, “Oh right, just a couple of quid?” and she said, dead serious, “Yeah hun, can’t go mad this year, Center Parcs isn’t cheap.”

Sorry but since when did her holiday mean my son gets shortchanged?! It’s not my fault she wants to go be in a beige lodge with a swimming pool.

She’s now acting like I’m the unreasonable one for being “materialistic.” But surely it’s just basic decency to reciprocate roughly what someone else spends?

Would I be unreasonable to get her DD something from the pound shop this year and see how she likes it?

Ignoring the "Cutla Quid" and how cringe that sounds, how exactly is your son being short changed? It's not like he's in debt to her and she's paying him back for something. He has lost absolutely zero in this deal.

Money is tight for a lot of people and yes, Centre Parcs is expensive. and to be frank, perhaps its the way you've worded it more than anything but your OP smacks of entitlement.

I just bought a selection box for my best friend of 20 years' son. <hangs head in shame>

Well, particularly at “friend’s child” level rather than nephew/niece/young cousin, I don’t think Christmas should be turned in to a series of arguments about values of gifts. I think YABU although perhaps the friend could have been a bit more subtle about it.

This is definitely a reverse 😄🍿

That’s how I’d take it.

Get her DD a chocolate Santa or similar. That is all that is needed for friends’ DC.

She's been clear on her budget so you cam reciprocate for her DD. Simples

She is allowed to go on holiday- good for her. And without question- if I bothered to buy presents for my friends children- it would be the first thing I’d axe to save up. Times are tough out there.

I get my best friends kids nothing. They get mine nothing. No one cares

This has to be a wind up.

What’s with all the ridiculous threads at the minute. Honestly who has time to make up so many obviously fake scenarios.

You bought her kid exploding glitter. That's what enemies do. WTF.

She's saving for a special holiday for her kid and is cutting her spending. That's responsible and she's being a good mom setting priorities. 👍

Yes, you can cut your spending on her child too. But you're unreasonable for giving exploding glitter and resenting that she isn't spending a lot of money on your kid.

People have a cutla reasons to make up fake scenarios

I don’t think she is cheeky at all. She’s letting you know she is prioritising her own family holiday over other people’s Christmas.

Ask her how much the budget is this year and do the same.

I think you are cheeky expecting your friend to cough up money she can’t afford.

It has never occurred to me to but Christmas presents for my friends’ children! Or the friends of my children, for that matter. Do people do this?!?

However, accepting that you do have a history of buying for each other’s children, she is telling you that you should each just buy a token gift for the kids as money is tight for her. I don’t blame her for saying that she wants to cut back the reciprocal gift giving because she values a holiday experience for their family more than getting £25 worth of glitter from you in exchange for whatever she would spend on her kid.

Good for her.

Your son is not being ‘shortchanged’ is he? She’s setting the expectations now that she’s buying your child a cheaper present so you don’t go overboard. She clearly knows you give to receive.

YABVU and grossly materialistic, which I think you know.

Did i read this right? How bloody entitled are you OP? She can spend what she likes on your dc and doesn’t have to buy anything at all, shes not even a relative so you are lucky she buys for your dc regardless on whether you buy for hers- that is your choice, how would you feel if she said “oh you can’t have the holiday you want with your dc because you have to buy my dc a decent gift at Christmas” im genuinely gobsmacked at the audacity of this post.

I think it’s a good thing that she’s told you in advance what she’s spending on your DS. Christmas isn’t cheap, I wouldn’t even expect my friend to buy my child presents but when they do I am grateful for anything.

Just agree to do little token gifts from now on.

Please don’t be one of the “I spend £35 so expect the same back” sort of people. That’s your choice to make

Thought half term was over

I’m so glad you’re not my friend 😂
You sound like a nightmare!

I think you are being unreasonable. Why should her child potentially miss out on a holiday so your child can have a Christmas present?

Does no-one other than her buy your child a present at Christmas?

I didn't routinely buy presents for friend's children, so I am not as bothered by this as you are.

Just take the lead and suggest that neither of you buy for the other this year.

Of course give her kid a similar value gift... That was her intention and why she told you in plenty of time!!!

Love “cutla”. That’s how we say “couple of” in South London. Writing it though? No 🤣

No we don't, the P sound is still there! Cuppla, if anything.

Oh come on. Reverse obviously

You are so far the side of U, you cannot see it.

Don't do presents - simple